to want to get in a night nanny

[Rhubarbgarden]

I know it's cheating. But dc2 is breaking me. I can't get him to settle after his night feeds, and last night was just the pits with him having a feed at 11 then wide awake crying till about half 2. DH and I took it in turns with the jiggling and shushing, but we are still both a wreck today. It's like this to a degree every night.

I have a 2 year old dd too, and I simply can't summon up the energy needed to deal with a toddler with this going on. I've got in extra help temporarily but dd is clearly feeling 'farmed out' and got hysterical when the nanny arrived this morning, and clung to my leg screaming mummy mummy while I was trying to rock the pram to get ds to nap - who was also crying. She's fine once the nanny has got her out the house and off to the park or something, but she's getting increasingly upset on a morning when she realises it isn't a 'mummy day'.

I can't keep going like this. I'm worn to a thread. I remember it being hard at this stage with dd but we got her sleep trained eventually and then it was fine. But I just don't have the mental or physical reserves needed for it this time, so I'm sorely tempted to get someone in to do it, just for three or four nights, to let us get some sleep and get on the right track. But it feels like a cop out...

No idea valium, thought that was one of the perks of a newborn. So easy to just feed them to sleep. Who wan'ts to be pacing up and down the room settling a baby that would settle in a minute with a quick feed?
I have a friend who always woke up her baby after baby fell asleep BFing. Then resettled it in the cot with some sush patting or even leaving it to cry a bit. What's the point? They will learn to self settle eventually.

choc that's madness! That's like dh waking me up after falling asleep on the sofa after Christmas lunch and telling me to go upstairs to bed!

Choceyes that's what I did with dd! She quickly learnt to self settle and slept through from 5 weeks. But I'm rapidly learning that ds is a very different baby and now I will do anything if it gets him to sleep! I'd love it if a night nanny could help him to learn to self settle like that, but at this point that's pie in the sky and if I can just get a few hours sleep to recuperate I'll be blooming delighted. PND may not be knocking at my door but I can certainly see it hovering on the corner.

The nanny agency can't supply anyone this week , but they are trying their sister agency. MIL has just agreed to come over for a few days (she's overseas) which is excellent and I never thought I'd be saying that about a visit from MIL

MIL's can be a Godsend if they help!

That's great Rhubarb. Tg for help I say!

I know I said I was hiding this thread but had a quick nosy to see hiw you were getting on. Did you try nightnannies.com?

Some of my friends used these agencies if you have no luck with them
www.silentnightnannies.co.uk
www.eden-nannies.co.uk/

To all those posters who are asking why you can't use the nanny in the daytime : why is it ok to use daycare but not night care? In a 4 week old's world there is no difference between night and day so why is it different? Genuine question, not being defensive?

And to those who advise sleeping on the sofa - wtf? How dangerous! I would rather my babies woke up to see a stranger's face then not wake up at all.

Ceevee, I think people were suggesting that she go to bed with the baby during the day while the nanny had the 2yo.

As a night nanny myself (and a mother of 3), I really can't see the problem with having some help with childcare

Having a new born is exhausting without any other children to look after. Not everyone has friends and family that can help.

I knew this thread would invite ridiculous comments as soon as i saw the title of it! Wasn't disappointed!!!

I'm not even going to comment as i'll be here all day, some of them have enraged me so much, however, just to say to you OP that i had a Mat Nurse with DC1 for a couple of weeks and a Night Nanny with DC2 once a week for 7 weeks. This was from the time we came home from hospital. On reflection i wish i'd got a Night Nanny for DC1 rather than a MNurse.

DC2 was sleeping consistent 8 hour stretches by that time so was happy to let the NN go at 7 weeks but would have kept her on possibly for another couple of weeks if not. Knowing that i was going to have at least one night of uninterrupted sleep (DH did the nightshift one night over the weekend too and the 10.30pm feed during the week) made life so much easier. Neither families were in a position to help so we paid for all the help we needed.

Never a second of feeling guilty - i really don't understand why you would??

Get all the help you need, that you can afford, for as long as poss. No matter what you've been told, you don't get a gold medal at the end of this, no matter how hard you slog your guts out!!!

FIRST SMILE!!! Jeez, what's that old joke about when do they smile, just in time?!! Gorgeous

Paula thank you for the pm. Ceevee thanks for the links; nightnannies.com have sent me the details of someone who sounds absolutely fab, but she can't start till next week unfortunately.

Suddenly feeling so much better!

OP
I had similar to you. DS was a nightmare sleeper. DD was good. My best friend used this lady with her DD2
www.facebook.com/deebooth.sleepfairy

and apparently she was a godsend. I stupidly didn't ( thought I could do it on my own) DS is nearly 3 and has only learnt how to self soothe and sleep through and go back to sleep when he wakes up during the night.

Good luck -

Thanks Cobblers

Thanks Flibberty, I'll make a note of that.

OP how are you getting on?

Yes, I was wondering how things were too :)

Do it. If you have the money to do it,why not? Sleep deprivation is the devil eyes ds

I think a night nanny is a great idea. My first baby was a miserable bigger for the first 4 months. She also had colic for the first few
weeks,it certainly keeps you on edge.
Good luck.