aibu to be annoyed at school voulenteers comments in daughters reading book?

[jb198]

ive never used this before but.... my daughter is in reception class. they bring books home each week and theres a book to write comments in. usually the teacher does this and always fine, maybe says E struggled with certain words etc but never anything major. we do read at home and most of the time i do write a comment, however i have been known to be a terrible mother and not write a comment.

a helper who goes in to do reading always writes things such as .... E is NOT reading at home.... E has not read again this week.

last week teacher wrote that could we keep the book as she is mixing a few words up. today helper has written ...... E is STILL struggling with this book and is NOT reading at home.

now im really annoyed as if there is a problem i would like to be told and not have snide remarks written by a helper. i feel like writting one back saying how E is bloody reading at home would she like to come and watch!

aibu to think this is quite rude and unprofessional?

I have to say though, through the ditching of our reading record, I communicated well with dds teacher and subsequent teachers...they all knew/know that dd does read at home, despite still being on page 1 of diary..and we exchange progress updates regularly

this is a bit of a tangent now...but IME extra reading help in class can also be detrimental if your dc has dyslexia...a gut feeling that was backed up by Dyslexia Action...its just another oportunity for them to fail/feel frustrated. They need help with reading/learning delivered by qualified and experienced professionals, not volunteer mums

beejeezus yes totally agree. All this 'you have to read because teacher says so' can put kids off.

I would cross out all her negative remarks and replace with we ALWAYS read at home. Also tell teacher, what a cheeky mare

Just to add that I've seen these threads more than once on here and it makes me feel quite sad. It's not so much the specifics, I volunteer in yr/y1 and y4 and naturally wouldn't say anything other than the obvious 'super reading' and so on. The nitty gritty stuff goes in a file for the teacherrs. What saddens me is the attitude of some people towards those of us who volunteer. The volunteers at our school genuinely have a heart for the good off the kids and love to see them progress and enjoy spurring them on. I'm guessing that a volunteer who only came in for some sort of power ride ( of which the very notion is hilarious) would soon back off once they had to get down to the nitty gritty of washing glue spatulas and the like :)

Sorry for over use of nitty-gritty. Must be phrase of the day?

I find writing in the reading diary a PITA, so I get the DC to do it (they are always keen to come up with appopriate comments e.g. "this wos the best reding eva!!". And then I initial it.

DD's school periodically gives out reading certificates to children who read frequently at home. DS's school awards points for reading 3 times a week and deducts golden time if it is not done. So in both cases we are pretty much obliged to fill in the &(^ thing.

I can see that knowing how frequently a child reads at home is useful to the teacher.

headinhands are you really picking that vibe up off his thread? i dont think it has been insinuated that volunteer helpers are there for any other reason than to help the kids, has it?

That certainly is not what is what i meant.

Do you not think the comments in the reading diary were out of line? IMO it is not the helpers place to comment; or to extrpolate that lack of entrants into diary=lack of reading at home

Also, that what a child needs, is often beyond the remit of volunteer parents...

I think the vibe is summed up in this comment. "we have a zillion volunteers who love sticking their nose into other children's progress".

I found the tone of that comment and some others disheartening, so am not surprised if headinhands had similar feelings.

Headinhands - I can see exactly why you'd get that vibe from here. I commented similarly myself earlier up the thread.

I too have done my fair share of cleaning glue sticks, cutting bits of paper into shapes etc etc as well as now taking small groups for tasks. To be honest it really pisses me off that people don't appreciate the time and effort volunteers put in. Do they not realise that having volunteers in class will nearly always benefit the whole class and give the teacher more time to concentrate on the task in hand??

headinhands just be thankful you haven't spent 4 years of university, incurred a load of associated student debt, worked your arse off and sacrificed every evening and weekend and half of your 'holidays' for the privilege of being seen as an overbearing, incompetent, busybody too

I think whilst some people have frustrations in particular circumstances about particular situations, most people (first and foremost teachers) appreciate everything that parent helpers/volunteers do in school.

wrt the comments about various different stages and children being allowed (and presumably not allowed in other cases) to move up -- how is such careful allotment of reading material supposed to benefit a child?

Why not supply books willy nilly yourself?

I do not see the point of having unqualified, tired, distracted parents who may or may not have time or interest or any experience to go on write a comment in a book about the reading of their child.

Parents often come in from work, attend to dinner, bath, sometimes a heap of ironing, sometimes hang out a wash there are hundreds of things to do and squalling children on top of that and teachers still expect them to find the time to participate in this reading chore? It's a recipe for fraught and tense evenings, and it doesn't guarantee meaningful feedback on a child's reading progress.

Meantime, the children of parents in socio economic groups that have always done well in the system continue to do well and the children of parents outside of those groups continue to make progress that is spotty at best. Maybe it is time to ensure that teachers are not so put upon in the classrooms that they can't devote all the time necessary themselves to teaching reading properly and professionally, and not rely on so much unqualified help to accomplish this fundamental task?

headinhands - but just because people are criticising this volunteer does not mean they criticise all

Our home liaison books are like a diary, which has a space for each day, and the book title of the book they have brought home each day. We are expected to read each night with our child and sign the book that the book has been read and make any comments we wish to.

Maybe the comments may be a little harsh, but its not exactly difficult to counter each comment with one of your own is it? If you know you are reading with your child, say so fgs. I don't think you need to be a teacher to be able to comment about a reception age child's reading. If your child is struggling would you not rather know.

Cripes its no wonder schools struggle to get volunteers in when they are faced with these attitudes.

I have to agree with Headinhands here. Honestly, parent volunteers do a huge amount for schools and in our school the broad spectrum of volunteers and the activities they accomplished and programmes the kids got because of their volunteering was wonderful. These people were not volunteering thier time to be on a power kick, but to help thier local community and do something positive with thier time.

For the record, kids in our school who had particular difficulties reading, in the class I read with there was an autistic boy and a child with dyslexia, were read with each week by the TA. we had a class of 31the and to expect the TA and Teacher to read with them frequently enough AND teach them and support class room activities in school time was impossible. we had a team of volunteers hear the majority of the class read over 10 to 12 hours per week. this allowed the TA to spend time with those kids who needed extra help. otherwise there was only really time for them to do guided reading in school, in groups.

Of course you don't HAVE to read with your child. but we always have as part of DD's bedtime routine and that does not make it some mechanical thing. it is a precious time of the day. in her reading record we would note the page no she had reached and initial it. that is it, no biggie. But it meant she would get a sticker on the reading rocket in class each day to show she had read at home and she saw us bothering to do the stuff she knew her teacher has asked us to do: read with her and sign the book.

in my experience the parents who ever got funny about parent volunteers reading with thier kids tended to be the ones who felt guilty because they did not read with their kids, and they could see thier kids were not progressing as quickly as they were getting less practice and those parents wanted to lash out at someone, instead of lookiing to themselves and doing something positive for thier kids.

The teachers only have so many hours in the day, and all those extra tasks taken on by volunteers can really add up to extra time your kids can benefit from teachers full attention.

Believe me back in the UK in the school I volunteered at the level of teachign was much better than here in the US where the teachers seem to spend most of thier time at their desks being admisitrators while the kids fill in photocopied tick box quizes in place of teaching. and the volunteers, they get to photocopy more quizzes so the teacher will have more time not to teach the child. think your seolves lucky!

I used to be a volunteer, I am a TA. Of course the vast majority of volunteers are great. Of course what they do is enormously valuable, more than some parents realise.

But the one in the OP is likely to put people's backs up because her manner suggests superiority. She doesn't need to butt in to the teacher's role, and actually do so in a tone that a teacher wouldn't use. This sort of behaviour, as I said before suggests motives other than purely a desire to help children It suggests judging parents. That's all some of the parents on the thread are pointing out.

I'm sure none of the volunteers on the thread would do that, would you. So no need to feel attacked.

I've met a few volunteers who seem to be motivated by spying on the school or their own children or other children. There were a few who talked about the children in their groups and had to be stopped. They do exist. And as I say, no axe to grind here - I was a volunteer myself for 2 years.

... of course, her motives may be fine. She may need more training.

Our record books have a list of the books in them which is ticked as books are read. So it helps to know when they have been read and they will be changed that day. Sonetimes children do not get a chance to read the book due to after school activities (or don't want to ) and hence the parent doesn't sign and the volunteer doesn't change them.

All that is required at the top of each page is 'read at home', and after that ditto signs suffice.

Given that dd's class has upwards of 6 reading volunteers a week, having the teacher have to update each on the progress of pupils reading after discussions with each and every parent would be a nightmare.

Just sign the book and move on!!!!

I disagree with the actions of the op's volunteer btw.

I would disagree that this thread is full of parents complaining about volunteers at school. I for one am very grateful for these parents who give up their time to help at school. But that doesn't mean we should accept inappropriate behaviour from a parent helper, and all criticism on this thread, as far as I can see, has been directed at this one woman, not parent helpers in general.