aibu to be annoyed at school voulenteers comments in daughters reading book?

[jb198]

ive never used this before but.... my daughter is in reception class. they bring books home each week and theres a book to write comments in. usually the teacher does this and always fine, maybe says E struggled with certain words etc but never anything major. we do read at home and most of the time i do write a comment, however i have been known to be a terrible mother and not write a comment.

a helper who goes in to do reading always writes things such as .... E is NOT reading at home.... E has not read again this week.

last week teacher wrote that could we keep the book as she is mixing a few words up. today helper has written ...... E is STILL struggling with this book and is NOT reading at home.

now im really annoyed as if there is a problem i would like to be told and not have snide remarks written by a helper. i feel like writting one back saying how E is bloody reading at home would she like to come and watch!

aibu to think this is quite rude and unprofessional?

I agree that the volunteer shouldn't write coments like this in your DD's book. However, your DD might say she doesn't read when asked. I volunteer and children tell me all sorts of things which I think probably aren't true, (I don't call them on it unless it's appropriate) such as 'I never read at home,' when a simple glance at their reading record shows pages and pages of parental notes! I just write the title of the books we've read and initial the page when I volunteer, sometimes 'well read' but never anything negative but that was drummed out of me when doing my teacher training years ago!
I would have written something in the book in response the first time it happened or would've spoken to the teacher. If you're not doing anything differently she's going to assume you're not reading 'still,' so why not change that if it bothers you?

We have to write in ds1's reading record every time he reads so that they change the book when needed (he reds at school once or twice a week but book can b changed daily if required). I do not think the comments by the parent helper are right though. When I was a TA paren helpers listened to readers and were allowed to make direct observations (needed lots of help today, encouraged to sound out words ect, along with read well ect), but making comments such as those would have been stopped. The teacher and I would not make such comments in the reading record. If we felt the child wasn't reading at home or if there wasa problem we would have spoken directly to the parent to see what was happening. I am surprised a member of staff hasn't picked up on this.
I would have a chat to the teacher, see if they do expect you to write in the book ever time you read and say you do not like he comments you are seeing in the book.

Sometimes it just isn't possible to read every night - she's tired and doesn't want to, or we have after school activities and are late home. I'd be very put out if I found a comment in DD's reading diary telling me to do more reading with her.

The educational gestapo are in full force again I see. Why should a 5 or 6 year old child be forced to read every night and her parent to right in her book every night . This is a lesson in how to turn a pleasurable activity into a forced and mechanical activity for children everywhere and their families too. Idiots.

I'm surprised the teacher hadn't seen this and spoken to you about it. To clarify or apologise!

I disagree that the diaries are not helpful.

Our school pay a lot of attention to what parents say. So if, for example, a parent wrote that the books were too hard / too easy, that they needed more per week, that they preferred non-fiction, then that would all be looked at.

Also, if a child IS regularly reading at home and is still making slow progress, for example, then that might make the teacher more concerned than if they are not i.e. why is all the practise not having an effect?

It is a communication tool. So if either side (school or parent) aren't using it to communicate, then it loses its value. It would seem in this case that the school are keen to use it though.

For the time it would take to help the school in this way, I really don't see why you wouldn't do it (unless, you have some other agreed process with the school, e.g. if you are having SEN interventions or something).

For the time it would take to help the school in this way, I really don't see why you wouldn't do it (unless, you have some other agreed process with the school, e.g. if you are having SEN interventions or something)

Yes, maybe I would feel similarily if my dd was NT. Its kind of besides the point for her though

also agree with jammyjane though. 5 year old is still really wee

Our school has a list of suggested comments, which include "child was too tired to read today" and "child really didn't like this book".

Mind you, we have to write per title not per day. Per day seems onerous to me.

This week my daughter's six books said:

• Read well
• Read well
• Read to brother, he says fine
• Read well, loved these poems and made up a tune for them
• Read well except a few words she was not familiar with e.g. nylon, Namibia
• Read well

It really didn't take long. And the teacher let her sing the poem tune to her, which she loved.

Oh, and they do send home books for us to read to them! So hopefully some pleasure is left, the kids love choosing them.

this is a lesson in how to turn a pleasurable activity into a forced or mechanical activity for children everywhere and their families too

Could agree more for my family. We read every night because it's fun and we love doing it. I can clearly see the value of the diaries for families who don't read and/or for children who are struggling with their reading. I really don't see it as an issue for those who love to read and are progressing well.

Incidently my eldest dc's teacher has asked me to go into to school to work with the children who are struggling with their reading so I guess I must be doing something right

That is great brandnew, different schools (and children, and teachers) work in different ways. But if the teacher said to you "Mrs Brandnew, I find the diary a really useful communication tool, please would you use it", would you then give it a go?

I had given up using it for my son as the Y3 teacher clearly wasn't that interested in them. But his Y4 teacher asked me to start again, and so I have.

I read most nights with my dc not every single night, I just don't get why people wouldn't want to write in the diary to show they have read I agree with ImaginateMum the diaries are a useful tool to communicate. When dd2 was recently finding the books she was bringing home too easy I mentioned it in the diary. Two days later she was moved up a level.

Educational Gestapo indeed, I'm caling Godwin's Law.

calling

I'm a lapse writter in the Reading note book however none of my family are lapse readers when kids were in mainstream it was accepted that they came from a household of avid readers however my ex would often write snotty notes in the book or attempt to use this to show we wernt Reading at home the school told him in no uncertain terms to stop this as it was blatently obvious that ds was reading
just an observation that this could be another issue for the none noters amonst us

I meant to say all of my dc, aged 4 to 9 all love reading. Me writing down what they have read in their diaries doesn't make reading a chore for them, why would it?

Was going to add, our teachers also use it to explain levels, thinking, etc.

e.g. my DD just moved to Stage 6. Teacher has noted that really she is ready for Stage 7, but as there are some books she knows she'll love ( because she knows from the diary notes ) at Stage 6, she's going to give her four weeks at stage six with six books a week so she can enjoy them and then move up.

So, I haven't had to resort to any "Why is my child on this level when they are all too easy?" threads on Mumsnet! And DD is having a lovely time reading books she enjoys at a level she can manage.

I suppose if I was more of a race through the levels kind of parent, I could have then used the diary to query her rationale. Actually it seems a good call to me.

brandnew no they really arent good for children who are struggling with their reading

Volunteer parent helpers are only supposed to write positive things in reading diaries. BUT parents are supposed to hear readers in reception (esp. if they are struggling) most days!! And to write in the diary that you have heard your dc read.

If my dc had taken the same book home for 2 weeks as they were struggling with it, I would be listening to him every night and writing my comments in the book - so YABU I'm afraid, as you're obviously not writing in the book enough!

IME, children whose parents do not write in their books very often are poorer readers than dc whose parents write lots in their books.

in reply to PiedWagtail

All mine had reading books/diaries and I signed everyones everyday - when the youngest was struggling I went into his class and helped to read, he had extra time with the teacher and TA. So there was no reason he couldn't read fluently apart from the fact that he was eventually diagosed with dyslexia over 10 years later!! So it makes no difference whether you fill in the books or not unless schools are prepared to do something about what you have written! Meanwhile mine had to struggle for years and always thought that he was the 'thick' one because he couldn't read well.

sometimes if a child is struggling with reading it can be best to just stfu about reading and lay off with the books

covert methods are best used IME-menus/shopping lists/ recipes/signs etc.

bejeezus exactly. There is more to reading than school books. Magazines/instruction manuals/cook books/words on computer games/cereal packets etc. Just because a child doesn't read the book sent home from school, it doesn't mean they aren't reading. Forcing a reluctant reader to sit down with a book they just aren't interested in, can do more harm than good imo.

I do volunteer reading in yr 1 at our school and I think they have a good approach. The reading book that the parents comments are in are collected by the teacher and not shared with volunteers, the file the volunteers note their observations in are reviewed by the teacher and not shared with parents.

I restrict my comments to observations of what the child actually read in front of me even though sometimes it is obvious that the child is not reading anything at home and rarely brings books in to be changed. In fact I try to make a point of reading with those children who don't bring their books in to be changed much.

It doesn't bother me that some parents view volunteers as being nosy or bossy or anything else, I instead like kid myself that I do it for the benefit of the children not the parents. It's certainly not for any personal benefit myself! I do think parent volunteers are undertrained though.

I would comment in the reading book myself though along the lines suggested:

"'Whilst I am sure you do not mean to be rude, your inaccurate comments are bothering me. E reads regularly at home. If she has any difficulties reading with you, please make her teacher aware.'"

I get a bit annoyed at the diktat that my child should read X times per week and record it all in the reading diary. We've struggled with DD's school for a few years over this as DD is quite a voracious reader, but isn't consistent in her enthusiasms. Some weeks she's more interested in guitar playing or she's just tired. And may times we simply forget.

This is DD's solution. Warning: This is a serious Proud Mummy alert.