aibu to be annoyed at school voulenteers comments in daughters reading book?

[jb198]

ive never used this before but.... my daughter is in reception class. they bring books home each week and theres a book to write comments in. usually the teacher does this and always fine, maybe says E struggled with certain words etc but never anything major. we do read at home and most of the time i do write a comment, however i have been known to be a terrible mother and not write a comment.

a helper who goes in to do reading always writes things such as .... E is NOT reading at home.... E has not read again this week.

last week teacher wrote that could we keep the book as she is mixing a few words up. today helper has written ...... E is STILL struggling with this book and is NOT reading at home.

now im really annoyed as if there is a problem i would like to be told and not have snide remarks written by a helper. i feel like writting one back saying how E is bloody reading at home would she like to come and watch!

aibu to think this is quite rude and unprofessional?

I never right in the bloody book. I ran out of things to say 15 years ago with DD.
(terrible mother)

The volunteer is out of order but they're not clairvoyants

You need to write in the book that he's reading every day.

In my DS's school, when they get to the Juniors they get kept in at break for 10 minutes if their reading records haven't been signed by a parent to show they've read at least 3 times that week.

YANBU if theres a problem its the teachers job to say so not a tin pot hitler with attitiude

if it really is getting your goat id have a quiet word with the class teacher

as a fellow mum who forgets to write in the book, as the reading happens upstairs book bag is normally on the peg.. I would be fuming and YANBU -

We have a zillion parent volunteers at our school who love sticking their noses into other childrens progress. I would write something snotty back to be honest!!

it got so bad at our school the school banned parents helping in the class their own children were in... and guess what they all stopped volunteering!!

I would hate this. Particularly as it means someone other than the teacher is reading the comments. I use the book as a way of communicating with the teacher - lots of parents do at our school. Whilst it isn't confidential I wouldn't want other people reading what I write. We all had a moan about it at a parents forum and no-one other than teacher/TA is now allowed to look in them/write in them. But I do write in it every time DS reads to me, which is practially every day, and along the lines of how he got on, whether it was easy/hard for him, what we talked about etc etc. The teacher loves me as I do her job for her !!

thanks, much calmer aboutit now, i didthink about writting a narky reply thats why i came on here first to avoid looking crazy. i will be sure to write in the book from now on even if its just a page number. will see how it goes in regard to seeing the teacher about it.

I write in the book a little comment mostly just something like "good try this week" or "great reading". The teacher/volunteer keeps writing things along the lines of "little5dcs must read his book EVERY night". I felt quite told off at first but now I ignore it we do read a book most days just not always the one from school - I mean he is on the first level of chip and kipper so it only has about 4 words in. I dont see the harm in varying it a little some nights.

You do not need to write in the book every frigging day

I would either ignore (maybe reassure teacher you are reading at home) or cross out helpers comments and write 'oh yes she is!'

I suppose if you make a complaint about the volunteer she might leave. Then there will be one less person to help with reading, but at least she won't be writing comments.

You do need to write in the book every day in my DS's school bejeezus

Not a comment, but just a page number or anything to show they've read.

I'd be really angry about snotty notes like that. We don't write in ds1's book because he reads so much. They know he reads. I'm a bit bolshy about these things but if it were me I'd complain.

I found one in dd's book last term that said 'Ok when on task but easily distracted' This was by the TA when dd had been in school less than 1/2 a term. I drew it to the teachers attention at Parents Evening and said I did not find it helpful. If dd wasn't engaged in the task in hand then whose fault was that? Since then it's all been fine.

If parents don't sign off that a book has been read then it isn't changed until they do. However it only requires a 'read at home'.

We have to write in their reading diaries every day too. Not an essay or anything, just the title of the book they've read, what pages and sign it. I only make a comment if I have a concern about reading one night, or if they show a marked improvement. It takes less time that it's taken me to write this post.

Cabbage soup - "we have a zillion volunteers who love sticking their nose into other children's progress".

Whilst I agree the volunteer shouldn't have written what she did, I'm a bit disappointed to see the negative comments re volunteers. These people give up their time to help the class and you're slagging them off? Nice and appreciative... I know some volunteers can sometimes have an attitude but the vast majority do it to be helpful.

As a volunteer, I have now helped for 4 years and know pretty much what level the children I am working with should be at, and the teacher uses me in her planning to ensure I can help specific groups with a specific focus. In order ro do that i read the planning, read any background and talk through the small group task with the teacher before I take the group. I am as effective as most TAs just unpaid. I am also bound by the same confidentiality as staff. It's not normally just some 'do-gooder' floating around and being nosy.

I'm quite used to marking spellings etc and right/wrong things and have no problem with that as it helps the teacher spend more time doing things with the kids. I was somewhat surprised though when the teacher handed me a load of the (yr3) kids homework project books for marking, I told her I didn't feel comfortable doing that and found some other task to occupy myself with.

OP, YANBU to be naffed off at the way the comments were written BUT if you didn't write in the book then they would assume you're not reading at home. YABU to assume a volunteer wouldn't read with your child in school and therefore write in their reading book.

Very rude of the helper. If she has concerns she should have spoken to the teacher, not written snotty notes.

I don't think schools are nearly good enough at communicating what needs to go in reading diaries though. I had no idea I was supposed to comment about DD's reading every day, and tell them when she'd finished a book. As a result, we rarely got new books the entire year.

When I asked the head at a meeting over another matter why no-one had asked why I wasn't making comments in the diary, I was told that 30% of parents (and this is in the heart of MC country) don't bother reading with their children and they assumed I was one of 'those'. Perhaps in reality most parents do actually read with their children but aren't bloody telepathic enough to know what the school wants from them without being told!!

'Tis a sore point.

No, parents don't have to fill on the diaries, no matter what school the kids are at...by threat of what exactly?

At our school, the kids change their books themselves though, when they have finished. We very often don't read the book from school at home

I suppose it depends on OPs school, but they don't have jurisdiction

How sad that you feel so annoyed by the volunteer who has given up her time to help YOUR child. I despair, I help out at school all the time not because I'm a nosy Parker but because I want to help. If you don't want that help then say so to the teacher. It just means your child won't have as much opportunity to read as other children.

I would write a note back 'Please DO NOT comment that E hasn't read at home, this is inaccurate and rude. E reads at home EVERY week and I find it an insult to my parenting that you suggest otherwise. Please stick to facts about what you have observed about E's reading, and do not speculate about what E has or hasn't been up to when you are not around, Thanks'.

In the last few days, we've read cereal packets. magazines, joke books, non fiction books, internet research on fish, instructions on aquariums - yet my DS would not let me write anything in his reading record "because they're not the school reading book".

We have done loads of reading and quite detailed comprehension - but the teacher does not know this. I've already assessed him at working within level 3 comprehension (advantage of being a teacher) but none of that counts officially. If you looked in his book, you would think he read at home very little.

Unfortunately, I know many children who do not read at home.

No, parents don't have to fill on the diaries, no matter what school the kids are at...by threat of what exactly?

Oh that's just silly

By threat of nothing of course!

The children are supposed to read every day or at least a minimum of 3 times per week and parents are expected to note that in the book.

Aftereightsaremine - I think it's a fairly distinct difference between being grateful that someone has volunteered to help your child and accepting rude notes from them. There is no reason to accept the unacceptable from someone out of gratitude for their help.