aibu to be annoyed at school voulenteers comments in daughters reading book?

[jb198]

ive never used this before but.... my daughter is in reception class. they bring books home each week and theres a book to write comments in. usually the teacher does this and always fine, maybe says E struggled with certain words etc but never anything major. we do read at home and most of the time i do write a comment, however i have been known to be a terrible mother and not write a comment.

a helper who goes in to do reading always writes things such as .... E is NOT reading at home.... E has not read again this week.

last week teacher wrote that could we keep the book as she is mixing a few words up. today helper has written ...... E is STILL struggling with this book and is NOT reading at home.

now im really annoyed as if there is a problem i would like to be told and not have snide remarks written by a helper. i feel like writting one back saying how E is bloody reading at home would she like to come and watch!

aibu to think this is quite rude and unprofessional?

YANBU, I'd be annoyed too and would probably write comments back to tell the volunteer as much. Volunteers are there to help listen to the children reading but they are not there to pass judgement on the children/parents

No, parents don't have to fill on the diaries, no matter what school the kids are at...by threat of what exactly?

If the diaries aren't filled in then the children have to miss first break to stay in and read. From Year 2 onwards.

No, I don't have to but my dc read so why would I let them be punished for me being lax at filling in their diaries?

I agree with bejeezus
No-one HAS to write in anything.
I talk to my DS's teacher regularly and discuss his reading progress.
I dont need to write a note in a book on a daily basis and I dont HAVE to read with him every night.
I am capable of managing our reading without it being dictated to me.
Never had any problems with the school because of it.

The children miss a break if the reading diaries are not filled in

I'd take the bloody book into school and ram it up her backside if this was me, but then I have a bit of a temper

I think you need to speak to the teacher and complain about this teaching assistant.

Yes to pullupapew

I would complain, as all the schools I have volunteered in have a strict policy that as volunteers we only write positive comments in kids reading records. There are separate records to fill in where the child may need help. This is partly because the child can or will eventually be able to read their own comments and they need to be encouraged not discouraged.

I normally write something like " Good Reading". I tell them what I liked, eg. Good working out of the word "cabbage", or good expression, or you really enjoyed those jokes etc. I might write in the private records " Johnny needs to slow down a little", or "Margeret needs to practise not shouting the words when reading".

If it's not filled in one night they don't, it's more if it's a recurring thing. They assume the child hasn't been reading at home so they make up for it at first break with the children reading to helpers and TAs and I only know this as I was forgetting to fill in dd1s diary and she was very cross with me

I think it's meant to be a "help" for the kids that don't get any reading at home, but handily serves as a punishment for those just not filling in the diary

Anyway I'm hijacking the thread, I think I've decided to agree with hiddenhomes idea to ram the book up the womans backside

I would write back '(1) To whom do I have the honour of writing, and (2) what qualification do you have to assess my DD's reading?'

Very officious attitude on her part.

I was always required to initial the set reading once I had heard it, nothing more.

I think you should comment in the diary to say that you've read with your child. That way the teacher will know that you have, and it will help her/him. I would be surprised if the teacher wasn't silently (or not so silently!) judging you for not reading with your child. As that's what will be presumed with no comments.

However, I would be furious if a parent helper had written that in my child's reading record! Mention it to the teacher! On the whole parent helpers have strict guidelines on what they can and cannot say...but there will always be one to break that!

As the teacher, I have written in books that children should be reading at home, when they're not filled in. I have had some very snotty responses... but, look at it from the other side - I have no idea whatsoever if children are reading at home if the reading diary isn't filled in. I am not telepathic.

It doesn't take a lot of effort - book title, page number, initials.

flexybex I agree with you totally. (Worked in schools) For me though it's the fact that it's a parent helper and not the teacher making the comments, and also the style of comment made...

I agree about the parent helper bit - I would certainly be mighty pissed off if that happened, especially as it would put me in an awkward position!

However, I think the OP has said that she doesn't write in the book, which also isn't very helpful.

(Just thought I'd make the point that if people don't write in the book, the teacher/TA have no way of knowing if the child's read at home.)

I rarely read the schools books at home, nor do I write in the reading record. However I read every night with all of my kids. I don't see why school need any record of what we're doing at home - dc's increasing proficiency is a clear record of the progress being made. It takes the fun out of it writing it down and treating it like homework or a chore. Happily my kids LOVE being read to and reading themselves.

Entirely inappropriate comments by the volunteer, I'd complain to the teacher if anyone wrote something like that and probably have a right old hissy fit at the parent in question but I can be a bolshy cow

I'm surprised the teacher isn't writing the same thing to you, brandnew. It is important for all children to read with their parents, and it is hardly any bother for the parents (or children) to write in a diary (provided by school) what they have read that night. It keeps the teacher up-to-date and more likely to notice peaks or troughs in the child's performance.

I really don't see the problem. If you wrote a comment in the diary, or ask a question, would you expect the teacher to read and answer it? I daresay you'd get very cross (or bolshy) if they ignored you.

You've every right to be annoyed. Who does she think she is writing comments. I might even at least think about writing a note to the Head asking if it is school policy for volunteers to write cheeky comments about a child's reading. But I probably wouldn't!

That's your view, flexybex. I don't agree. The teacher knows that we read every night because I told her we do. I don't need to keep reiterating that fact ad infinitum for the benefit of a volunteer.

Don't you just speak to the teacher if you have a question? I see my kids teachers twice a day, it's hardly a chore to spend 2 mins having a conversation every so often.

YANBU, interfering madam. Even if you weren't reading with DD, it's none of her damn business, she is only there to listen to the child read 'in the moment' so to speak. There could be a good reason that you weren't reading (I have recently told DD's teacher that due to difficult circumstances we aren't reading as much as we should be) - but what has it got to do with her FFS. The teacher could raise it with you if concerned.

it's hardly a chore to spend 2 mins having a conversation every so often

Times that by the number of parents of children in the class and it may start being a chore for the teacher.

It's no great chore to quickly scribble in a diary so teacher/TA/helper can quickly check they've read the book and then change it. I'm pretty disorganised and have forgotten loads of times but I'm getting better at it messily chucking it in on the way out the door in the morning

Dear volunteer, I do not floccinaucinihilipilificate my daughter's reading. It is something we do on a daily basis, as you should be able to tell by the improvemnets she is making when she reads to you.

Please make useful comments such as any words she has struggled with, or any lack of comprehension. Please do not make assumptions about whan E does or does not do at home.

flexybex I agree it is in the best interests of a child to read lots at home, and we read many times more than the school recommend. But it is not within the teacher's remit to say what parents have to do with respect to reading. That attitude does get people's backs up. And for that reason, schools shouldn't really make snotty comments to/about parents because it is counter productive.

A teacher is paid to do their job and has professional standards to uphold - including answering queries from parents. A parent, whether we like it or not, has the right to parent in their own way - including not writing in the reading diary if they so choose - so long as they are not harming their children.

tough I am a bit fired up as have just emailed DS1's school over some truly tedious homework he has to do, he finished a some homework early and his reward? More work, only more boring than the first lot!

I dont really see that the diaries are even that helpful. Especially if you are only allowed to write positive comments

or only a page number???

I think they are aimed at people who wouldnt otherwise read with their kids? And as such are great. But not to be filled in day in/day out - it becomes meaningless for the child IMO