aibu to be annoyed at school voulenteers comments in daughters reading book?

[jb198]

ive never used this before but.... my daughter is in reception class. they bring books home each week and theres a book to write comments in. usually the teacher does this and always fine, maybe says E struggled with certain words etc but never anything major. we do read at home and most of the time i do write a comment, however i have been known to be a terrible mother and not write a comment.

a helper who goes in to do reading always writes things such as .... E is NOT reading at home.... E has not read again this week.

last week teacher wrote that could we keep the book as she is mixing a few words up. today helper has written ...... E is STILL struggling with this book and is NOT reading at home.

now im really annoyed as if there is a problem i would like to be told and not have snide remarks written by a helper. i feel like writting one back saying how E is bloody reading at home would she like to come and watch!

aibu to think this is quite rude and unprofessional?

Aftereight - I used to volunteer as well, and now am a TA. people are grateful if you don't act in an inappropriately officious way that over-steps to bounds of what you have been asked to do. If you do this, this raises the suspicion that you are a busybody. That's all

Some helpers do a get a bit power mad. It's not her place to write judgmental comments in a child's book. I would have a quiet word with the teacher

I'm a volunteer reader at school - it can be a drag going in every week and hearing the same book five times by different children but I have developed great fondness for all the different kids. We were given instructions about confidentiality and about writing positive comments (and raising any concerns with the teacher for them to address). So it's all nice comments and I like reading other mums' stuff about my child as a result. BUT I would be bloody pissed off if someone wrote what you describe - out of order totally. I think it's reasonable to speak privately to teacher and say you find negative ir snide comments the opposite of constructive and could she sort out this volunteer's attitude pronto please.

It's the reading that helps your child, not the filling in of daft diary

School helper is wrong to make assumptions/judgements/comments of the kind that she had, based on the non filling in of diary

write in the diary. fill it. don't leave any space for the volunteer. ask about background checks. question the teacher intensively about use of volunteers, at parents evenings.

two things i don't like: schools using my child as a teacher's aide, and schools allowing some stranger near my child.

and my child is now 30. but the original post took me right back to 1988...

Sorry if I have offended but I have a mum come up to me today to demand to know why I haven't read with her child this term! Err because the teacher sends the children to me I don't get to choose...

Told her to go to teacher not me.

I did ask this mother if she would like to help spread the load but she is apparently too busy!

Next time I would write in the book. Are you aware of how rude you are coming across in such comments? Please do not make assumptions.

Also have a word with the teacher.

I have had 4 children go through keystage 1 and only 1 of them had any regular writing in books.

All 4 schools my children have attended coped with this.

As for the comment being sarcastic about the volunteer giving up here time. Simply because you give your time does NOT equate you to be permitted to be rude. She needs training.

I would circle any comments like that in red pen and add a couple question marks.

Just that, nothing else!

Aftereight - you were right to direct her to the teacher. It's great that you are prepared to give up your time, but I expect you do it because you can, and because you enjoy it.

I always write in DS1's reading book. It shows his teacher he is reading at home and I write down if there are any books or words he has really struggled with.

The TA is certainly overstepping and needs a little bit of training but you should indicate your dc has read; children with little/no support at home with reading usually need extra support in class and the class teacher/TA might be thinking your dd falls into this category when it certainly isn't the case. If they follow the book up in guided reading, often done in small groups of similar ability, again it's useful to know they've read the book as you can differentiate the questions accordingly to provide challenge.

It's true that it is really helpful for the school to know whether the book has been read or not and how they got on. Agree with ReportMeNow

I am another one that is a bit saddened by the attitude to volunteers. I go into school every week. I am not paid but have done TA training (Level 2) and studied linguistics at university level.

I agree that I have no right to be rude in reading records. But I am a bit surprised that people think I should not write in them at all. I write notes that I think will help the teacher / parents, e.g. one child this week struggled on any word with an a~e diagraph. I chatted it through with her and we worked through some examples on a mini whiteboard which she seemed to really start to grasp. I then noted in her book we had done so. "M and I discussed the a~e diagraph together, confidence increading" or some such.

Is that really so objectionable? And isn't it better the finding is noted?

I agree that it's very rude to SHOUT like that. But if you're not writing in the book to demonstrate how much DC is reading at home, then the teacher and / or parent helpers won't know.

Make a note of the book title and page numbers and then you won't get any more comments. Simples!

I agree jamie but I usually smile & don't retaliate it was the way she spoke to me that got my back up. She's made comments to me before about how I run the school shop & the limited time I open it! I resent being spoken to in such a derogatory manner when I give up my time. Rant over. Sorry OP if I have hijacked your thread or if anyone has been annoyed by anything I've said. I shall go & have .

You need to use the mumsnet phrase.
'Whilst I am sure you do not mean to be rude, your inaccurate comments are bothering me. E reads regularly at home. If she has any difficulties reading with you, please make her teacher aware.'

Imaginate - that's fine. Others don't possess the knowledge or judgment to know what is appropriate to write. In those circumstances, the volunteers should be trained, or not allowed to write in the book at all.

There's no general attitude to volunteers, merely a suspicion 9based on experience) that some lack tact and/or training.

Aftereight - no need to apologise. we like a good debate. Enjoy your wine

Volunteers are great and a helpful comment or observation is useful.

But a comment that sounds like a criticism from someone who could quite possibly another parent is never going to be appreciated.

Her comments are unprofessional and unpleasant with assumptions she can't prove. Don't write a note back in the log, speak to the class teacher and if it continues speak to the head.

I have been that volunteer. The teacher was concerned as some kids were reading frequently at home and others were not. The teacher or teaching assistant often read with kids and commented in the book each time the child was read with, but also she organised a team of volunteers so every day there was someone in reading with the kids one on one.

We were given strict instructions to comment in thier record book when we had read with them, AND if they had not been read with at home to say something to remind the parent to read with them. We also had volunteers who changed reading books on a daily basis going through the class's books and changing books for those who needed fresh books. If a child had been read with at home a tick went on their chart, if they had not then a cross went on thier chart (held by the teacher) so the teacher would know with certainty who had been read with and who had not.

If you are reading with your child but not noting at least the page number you have reached and your initials, then the teacher / volunteers will have no way of knowing and they will be assuming you are not.

Admitedly they could be more polite and less arsey about it - but if you note down when you read with her then it will not happen.

Agree with Worra.

I'm a parent class helper and a TA. We fill in the diary as a record, and at our school parents/carers are expected to do the same at home (minimum 3/4 times a week is encouraged). Any concern that the helper has during school time should be directed back to the teacher. The teacher should give parents 'feedback' if ness, not class helpers.
Sounds as if she is full of her own self importance imo. It's rude and unprofessional. Writing a note that praises and motivates is much better

I teach Year 1 and have several parent/grandparent helpers who hear readers and I would not be happy at all if any of them wrote a comment like that. We have a document that is given to parent helpers when they first start explaining things like that.
As for reading diaries do people really think it's too much to ask that they just write a short comment when they've heard their child read? I think it's common courtesy and shows the child/teacher that you actually care. Of course the reading is the important thing but to be honest, if a child in my class does not have their diary written in I, and all other staff at our school, assume the child has not read. We have two boxes that the children put their books in, one if they want it changing and one if they want to keep it. When the TA goes through the books to be changed they go not get a new book if it's not been written in. Anyone could say 'yeah I read it last night' and believe me they do! In the behaviour system in my class children are rewarded for reading at home and the only way I know if they have is if someone writes in their diary. Rewarding reading at home has, in my opinion, made a massive difference to the standard of some children's reading. Practise really does make perfect!

I don't think it is 'too much to ask' but I think it is a waste of time, we don't choose to sit down for formal reading. Reading is part of our life here so often it is reading out from the paper or reading a book out in the back of the car or taking turns to read out of a book - I think the forced 'you have to do your reading' approach is a total bore.

Most of the time we don't read the school books anyway, they stay in the book bag and just get read in class.

I know I'm a pain, but fortunately DS1's school are pretty happy to accept we do a lot of reading without us having to make pointless notes all the time.

Has she asked your DD if she's reading at home? If so and your DD has said yes why doesn't she believe her? I wouldn't be happy either. She sounds a complete bossyboots. I was a volunteer helper in Yr1 and only wrote positive things to encourage the kids. They always got a sticker with me too.