to think that having a settled newborn is bugger all to do with anything you have or haven't done?

[IcouldstillbeJoseph]

Obviously disregarding illness or feeding issues etc. I'm talking about the fact that some babies are just better at sleeping and being contented at the very begnning.

So therefore it is really bloody annoying to hear the smug parents come out with gems as to why they think their baby is more settled than others. My personal favourites are:

"i think its because we've been really pro-routine from the very beginning" - as if the parents of unsettled babies wouldn't dearly love to put their DC down at 10pm and have them drift off blissfully until some hours later. Difficult to be pro-fecking-routine when you can't put them down without them howling

"I think its because I was really chilled out during pregnancy" - right, of course that's it, even though your baby wasn't even breathing or aware of the world just yet it was definitely aware that you were really calm and has carried that over into its new little life

"i think it's because i only drink camomile tea"
"I think it's because I always went to bed at the same time every night when I was pregnant"

oh stop being so smug. Its nothing to do with you, its the luck of the draw.

I think its all about your emotions and how relaxed or stressed you are. They definately pick up on that.

Thanks for those links mathanxiety. They are interesting, especially because the cortisol had a measurable effect only in the third trimester.

I read the first study as finding an effect when women were suffereing significant anxiety or depression rather than just being a generally less relaxed person.

I've only glanced through the second one quickly but I don't know if the CBCL is an effective way to determine newborn behaviour. IIRC it is used to assess much older children.

So it is interesting to know that women experiencing PTSD in the third trimester could have fussier babies but I think we can safely say that just being a more chilled out kind of person probably doesn't make much difference to how settled our babies are in the early weeks.

I did everything in the book that was maximum stress in the 3rd trimester with DD - - VERY stressful career, made more so because I couldn't get maternity cover, until a week after my due date - thank God DD was 2 weeks late - I moved cities, sold a house, bought a house, got married, family problems meant I was ostracised from my whole family, even for my wedding - well over 2 months without a GP as on moving no-one would take me on & I was a high risk for several problems so needed monitoring - I could go on & on.

I still ended up with a chilled baby though

Im thinking more emotions when baby is here not pg. Rockinhippy sounds like you and your baby would survive a nuclear war. Id have been a jibbering wreck. Welldone you!

I do think those studies have a potential huge flaw- that stressed and anxious mothers may rate their baby's behaviour as more unsettled.

DS1 was a nightmare sleeper, and our friends who had a baby at the same time had a sleeper. Annoying. They always used to infer that it was something we were/weren't doing....Also annoying.

Then we both had DC2 at around the same time. Ours is a sleeper , theirs, is not . They have tried every trick in the book to make him sleep..... to no avail. To say DH and myself are smug is a massive understatement! We are over the moon. That'll show 'em.

LOL - not sure about that mum

stress continued after she was born too unfortunately - though I suppose I've always been good at hiding the effects on the outside - IYSWIM - not sure that would make much difference to a newborn

She was still mostly a very easy baby/toddler etc & has mostly always been a good sleeper - not always easy to get into bed - but once there, stayed put until 8am

Though she's now 9 & can be a stroppy mare & too clever already with arguing her point & given the chance is a real party animal already so I don't doubt she's going to make up for it by giving us a rough ride into her pre/teens