Why is mumsnet so anti men?

[LolaKicks]

I joined mumsnet because I am currently seven months pregnant, but I didn't expect it to be so negative towards men. Husbands always seem to be in the wrong and for most posts there seems to be a reply of "leave the bastard" or "he seems abusive to me" even when it is not warranted.

I am not saying that the relationships being posted about are all sweetness and light, but surely females are in the wrong sometimes. In some cases it is okay for a woman to something i.e. tell a lie or buy something secretly, however a shooting offence for the man in the relationship to do the same thing.

Maybe I am naive but I thought this was a parenting website and I and really questioning whether it is worth sticking around. So am I being unreasonable and unrealistic?

why would anyone need to post in Relationships if they were settled and happy, though?

they wouldnt need to start a thread, but it would be more helpful for a broad range of posters to go on there, rather than just those who are in shit relationships, to be able to give a balanced perspective, to encourage some people in understanding what should be part of a good relationship, particularly if the one they have is the only one they have ever known... it doesnt have to be gloating.

Posters who have experience of the sort of crap that some of the threadstarters on there are in, who have dealt with it, and have come out the other side, are invaluable to that board I would say, because it gives hope and encouragement. A board full of posters saying "I sympathise, I am in that situation too", is okay, but doesnt provide much help in solving the problem.

Oh bore off, OP

LolaKicks, the answer is to hide AIBU and Chat.

Then your mumsnetting will be a much happier experience. Trust me.

YABU to refer to women as "females", which doesn't even denote which species we are from.

eh???? FE-male... WO-man.... what bloody difference does it make, and why pick holes in something so bloody trivial and pointless?

I don't think it's anti men.

If it were, there would be no conception topic for example

Because its an overwhelmingly female space and is an anti wanker space so a lot of the vitriol is directed towards the male partners of the female members. If it makes you feel better, female partners of female posters do not fare better than male partners but there are fewer of them. I've never seen a thread stating that its ok for women to lie and keep secrets except in a totally tongue in cheek way. Maybe you need to learn to distinguish between the chatty lighthearted shopping threads and the serious stories of financial abuse.

You know, in the past, posters who have said the same thing (who arent trolls) have turned out to be in unhappy relationships with abusive men, and their outrage at the 'anti men brigade' on MN has been complete projection. just saying.

what a lot of nonsense OP

It comes to the point of whether you want to add your views,lurk or leave.
There are some posters who delight in making mischief.After a while you will see the same names reappearing.
You will also see a variety of other points of view,which hopefully the op finds helpful.

OP, why are you so concerned about the feelings of men? Is your DH controlling you into thinking this way? HUGE red flags for me, tbh... You need to install a keylogger, check his emails, and change the locks. What a cocklodger.

SqueakyToy, I mentioned it earlier. 'Surely females are in the wrong sometimes' it's an uncommon turn of phrase. Most people would use 'women'. And threads like this seem to always use 'females'.

Yes, it's pro-woman. When you're not used to seeing that, it can appear to be anti-men because we are so used to putting men's needs centre stange that to not do so seems like a dreadful insult to them.

We have quite a few great male posters here, btw.

This is a female space, populated largely by females. Why do we have to talk about men?

I can see the thread title now: "My Dh is such a nice guy -- what shall I do?" If people are saying "leave the bastard" then, THEN, and only then you've got a point.

fwiw, there are some great posters here that happen to also be male. They don't bore on about being male, about male matters, or speak condescendingly to those that aren't male. Often one is quite surprised to discover that they are in fact male.

Sallyingforth - ^One thing I have noticed is that if women have sexual problems they are often advised to try porn.
But if a man is found to be using porn it's a capital offence!^

I would be amazed if it's the same posters doing both of these.

OP you're posting on mumsnet, ergo you are mumsnet. So tell me, why are you anti-men?

"SqueakyToy, I mentioned it earlier. 'Surely females are in the wrong sometimes' it's an uncommon turn of phrase. Most people would use 'women'. And threads like this seem to always use 'females'."

Totally agree Narked. It's common with a particular type of poster who has a particular view on women IME. And perhaps a particular agenda.

I think the problem is that we are so used to seeing men larger than they actually are that a pro women space can look as if it's anti men, just because it sees men as actual size! When It is, actually merely anti dick. Regardless of the gender of the dick concerned.

Leave the bastard.

Without wishing to be too controversial,I also think that when women are assertive it is often perceived as a threat,or as anti-men. So often women are asked to justify any groups in which they come together,and at times suffer abuse for doing so.

There are strong assertive women who choose to post on Mumsnet.

Not the same as anti-men.

At all.