Would you leave a 13yr old home alone overnight?

[carlywurly]

A friend mentioned in conversation that she does this regularly when shes out with friends or staying with her dp who lives a mile or so away.

Her ds has just turned 13. Apparently he loves having the place to himself.

I really didn't know what to say. My own dcs are much younger so it's not something I've really considered yet.

Aibu for feeling a bit shocked or is doing this normal??

Nope. But would leave him alone for an evening with grandparents just round the corner.

i have a 14 yr old and i wouldn't be comfy leaving her overnight, I don't know why your friend does this I know i wouldnt be able to settle or enjoy where i was,

I have son 11 yrs and daughter 14 yrs and no I just wouldn't. agree with you.

its against the law to leave anyone under 16 after 11pm. so no you are not unreasonable to be shocked

No - we didn't feel able to do this until he was about 17 I think - and even then he was being 'watched' like a hawk by next door (the only time I've been grateful for the thin walls!).

My 15 yo is not allowed home alone overnight.

Ours are 17 and 14. Noooo!! And on all sorts of levels not least that the 17 year might have a party and the 14 year old is tooooo young if her brother happens to go out to a party.

Depends on the individual I suppose-if he's mature don't really see the problem-if he's a knob then I wouldn't do it.
We used to go round to my mates house drinking at that age & crash overnight as her mum went out every Friday night & didn't get back until the early hours-14 really isn't that young.

Yanbu, absolutely

DD was only left last year alone for a week while we went on holiday she is 18 and didnt come with us even then i had my mum check on her and neighbour knew she was there alone , daft i know many 18 yr olds live alone

Your friend is irresponsible and stupid, she needs to sort her priorities out.

barred, the ds is only just 13 and I should think that "We used to go round to my mates house drinking at that age & crash overnight as her mum went out every Friday night & didn't get back until the early hours" is another good reason not to do it

Welliebobs, do you mean that a 16 yo cannot even babysit after 11pm? Surely not!

Op yanbu.

Ah, that's interesting to learn about the 11pm cut off. She's a lovely person but has some epic judgment fails occasionally. I didn't know if I was just being naive though.
Dp and I discussed it later and both thought how we felt for her son, who must spend a good deal of time on his own. He dislikes her dp so I'd imagine he's keener to be alone than at his house.

YABU, if she feels like her son is able to look after himself at home overnight then imo thats her call. Not saying that all 13 year old are capable of this, but some certainly are. I know I could leave my 11 year old overnight if I desperately needed to. (I do but my brother who is 16 stays with him for the legality of it but my 16 year old brother is immature, and about the same age mentally as my mature 11 year old).

No, there is no way I would leave my ds who is the same age, or the nearly 16 year old alone overnight.

15 year old son has a friend whose mother leaves him home alone overnight regularly, and allows him to have friends over at the same time. However, grandparents live next door, and they are in the middle of nowhere so that feels much more acceptable.

''its against the law to leave anyone under 16 after 11pm. so no you are not unreasonable to be shocked'' -

er what ? please link to that legislation.

OP - YANBU

He is still a child at 13

DS is 14 but I wouldn't leave him alone overnight yet, no way! YANBU

Yanbu, my DCs r younger but still, No No No.
Not sure about the whole "its illegal after 11pm" thing but I'd say its def neglect and she needs to get her priorities right.

Nope (and I've got a particularly sensible one). A few hours in the evening is fine at that age, but I still make sure I'm back before she goes to bed.

IT isnt illegal as such but parents can be prosecuted for neglect for leaving a minor I think it is recommended over 14s can be left alone,

Absolutely not,I am shocked anyone would think it's ok .

My dd is 13 and really sensible. I know she'd cope I suppose, but that's not the point. Being able to cope doesn't mean she should be put in a position where she has to, not at 13.

3am can be a lonely time of night in a house by yourself I can't believe it's even a legal anway

There is no minimum age at which children can be left alone in the UK. See this quote from NSPCC website.

What the law says

The law does not set a minimum age at which children can be left alone. However, it is an offence to leave a child alone when doing so puts him or her at risk.

The law doesn't give an age at which it is legal or illegal to leave a child alone but it does state that

it is an offence to leave a child alone if it places them at risk. Parents can be prosecuted if they leave a child unsupervised ?in a manner likely to cause unnecessary suffering or injury to health? (Children and Young Person?s Act)

The NSPCC state that children under the age of 16 should not be left alone overnight and that children under the age of about 12 are rarely mature enough to be left alone for a long period of time.