Would you leave a 13yr old home alone overnight?

[carlywurly]

A friend mentioned in conversation that she does this regularly when shes out with friends or staying with her dp who lives a mile or so away.

Her ds has just turned 13. Apparently he loves having the place to himself.

I really didn't know what to say. My own dcs are much younger so it's not something I've really considered yet.

Aibu for feeling a bit shocked or is doing this normal??

Oooh! My best friend's mum used to go and stay over with her boyfriend every Friday night, leaving friend home alone.
As soon as her car pulled away, I would be round with a bottle of cider. We got up to all sort-crashing student parties, having older boys from school round. It's a miracle nothing really bad happened actually.
So, er, no, is my answer!

And, yes I used to babysit at 13 too, sometimes until late, but I wouldn't have had anyone round to my employers house. Its a different thing imo,

It depends on the 13 year old up to a point. But better not until they are older. Children have gifts; but they dont have experience. And experience matters

When I was 13 I babysat for neighbours (five minute walk). They didn't get home until after 2am. The child was 3. I managed fine, and this was before mobile phones

DS is 14. We leave him more and more, he manages to catch a bus home from school and let himself in. If he misses the bus he either rings us, catches a lift with a friend's parent or walks (takes an hour!).

However I don't think that I would want to leave him overnight. The latest he has been alone is 11.45pm. He managed to make himself some supper, and put himself to bed. He says (and I believe him) that he is quite happy to be on his own.

A lot depends on the child. They are all different - and this boy may be perfectly capable. As long as the boy doesn't start to feel a burden to his mother, and that is why he gets left alone?

Shrimp, that is what bothers me, that he feels unwanted and tells her so, although I've not had teenagers yet so it may be par for the course.

The friend is lovely but has chronically low self esteem, lurches from one dodgy relationship to the next and her current dp is a shocker, a thread in itself. She's gorgeous and smart in so many other ways and it's hard watching her cling to a dysfunctional relationship while her ds is unhappy. Not my place to interfere or judge though, but difficult to know how to support her tbh.

I think thats dreadful. She is putting her social life above her dc's safety and wellbeing.