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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that women should not have to be discreet when breastfeeding?

633 replies

lalaland3008 · 13/06/2012 18:57

I'm not saying that anyone should purposely flop both boobs out into someones dinner. But it makes me really mad that some people think women should have to be discreet when feeding their baby, sit in a corner or breastfeeding 'booth'.

I also think a breast is just not comparable to a penis to a vagina and if people are offended because they see breasts as purely sexual then that is their own problem.

Noone would object to me sitting in public drinking my coffee or feeding my baby a bottle of cows milk yet people find breastmilk offensive.

I'm not bitty mad I lasted 2 weeks breastfeeding but it still makes my blood boil that it is seen as controversial by many.

AIBU?

OP posts:
tiktok · 21/06/2012 09:58

NCT has not, by the way, 'changed tack'.

I should know.

Whatmeworry · 21/06/2012 14:35

NCT has not, by the way, 'changed tack'. I should know

Trust drops 'evangelical' breastfeeding message

"The National Childbirth Trust is setting out to transform its image out of concern that it is too white and too middle-class.

As a first step it is to drop its "evangelical" position on breast feeding, moving from a stance of "promoting" it to one of "protecting" the rights of women who decide to do it.

The shift, which follows a two-year review of the charity's work, forms part of its new "20/20 strategy",

Get with the program, tikkers, you're clearly one of the old guard.

StealthPolarBear · 21/06/2012 14:42

Bloody hell, can you not re read your own posts. Take the chip off your shoulder and stop talking down to everyone. I have never read such pompous drivel in my life.

StealthPolarBear · 21/06/2012 14:43

That was a comment btw. Just so you're clear.

tiktok · 21/06/2012 14:49

whatme, you are mistaken. You linked to an inaccurate newspaper report, which does not reflect NCT's position then or now. The Telegraph story caused much internal angst because it was just wrong. None of the quotes are inaccurate - it was the interpretation by the journalist that was incorrect.

You have already written posts on this thread as if you are i) an expert in evolutionary biology ii) an expert in mammalian physiology iii) an expert in product design....and now you are an expert in NCT policy and practice!

Wowser!

Clearly no end to your talents....though you could usefully top 'em up with a couple of years at Charm School :) :)

StealthPolarBear · 21/06/2012 14:53

Wht ho whatty

tiktok · 21/06/2012 14:53

Just to add.....NCT would never think that women should have to be discreet when breastfeeding, so bringing in NCT's imagined change of tack is irrelevant anyway.

I wonder if whatme has some link to some paper that tells a different story, and that now NCT is reported as campaigning for women to cover up so as not to offend?

Oppsididitagain · 21/06/2012 18:39

having popped into one of the NCT services today to attend a session with a friend i spoke to a worker about this very issue, she did confirm that they still surgest breastfeeding is best and they still are incredably firm regarding protecting mothers who do so and educating the genral public about this issue and how important it is to not ridicule or errode the confidence of such mothers,she also told me that it is her belif that the main reason mums stop doing this is because of shitty attitudes and lack of support and or attitudes of people just like whatme (obviously im not parroting word for word but i did show her this thread and asked her if those where the type of things she ment) to be told 'yes exactly its dispicable,what type of person would say things like that its biggoted uneducated and shows a compleate lack of thought' so there.

WhosPickleisThatOnion · 21/06/2012 20:02

Only yesterday I got into an argument with a friend who was saying breastfeeding past one was disgusting, pulling horrible faces and saying it should be done in the loos. I pulled her up on it all but she wouldn't back down.

So it's an issue I think with people like that around making others feel uncomfortable.

So it's an issue I think.

WhiteWidow · 21/06/2012 20:20

Panty lace - best post.

I think a lot of people are attacking those who don't like 'over the top' breastfeeding, as I'm going to call it. We've said breastfeeding in public isn't an issue, its the way we have seen it done. When we try to give you examples of situations were its been not nice in our eyes we're shot down with comments as though you saw it with your own eyes and we can't possibly be describing it correctly. Not all women do it properly with dignity and maybe a little bit of grace.

StealthPolarBear · 21/06/2012 20:24

Why should women do it properly and with dignity and grace though. If undignified is how they can feed their baby.
And and the hugely judgemental 'properly'

WhosPickleisThatOnion · 21/06/2012 20:29

White widow you can't help it if you feel uncomfortable, but why should a breast feeding mother have to feed to your "standards"

You don't have to look if you don't like it. It's not hard.

It's really your issue and not theirs.

WhiteWidow · 21/06/2012 20:30

You're just not getting the point at all are you, none of you are willing to listen to anything that opposes your opinion.

This isn't about what was comfortable for the baby. This was about the women just not being arsed. I assume you'll come back with a comment along the lines of 'why should she be arsed', which means you haven't got a clue what I've seen some women do when breastfeeding.

Some of you on this thread must think all mums are positively angelic. And are the personification of the word 'motherly' when breast feeding their children. Well I can honestly say they aren't.

WhosPickleisThatOnion · 21/06/2012 20:33

Well explain then as I really dont see what your point is?

I cant see what a breast feeding mother has done in front of you thats so wrong?

Surely the worst thing that can happen is that you see a breast?

metalelephant · 21/06/2012 20:38

Our breasts are made for breastfeeding and if you find the sight of that makes you uncomfortable, it's your choice to look away.

Unless somebody physically attacks you with their breasts...then you're fine to be offended. Wink

WhosPickleisThatOnion · 21/06/2012 20:42

Mind boggling at a potential FemBot style breast attack!

Scrubber · 21/06/2012 20:45

Pickle 'The worst that can happen is you see a breast' [puts hands up] It was me. I'm not doing it 'properly' in public. I like to whap my tits out in cafes, wait for the let down reflex and use other people's cups of tea as target practice for my high jet streams of milk.

Brew anyone?

Whatmeworry · 21/06/2012 20:45

I think a lot of people are attacking those who don't like 'over the top' breastfeeding, as I'm going to call it. We've said breastfeeding in public isn't an issue, its the way we have seen it done

It's not even a lot of people, it's the same few over and over again. And they repeat the same mantra over and over again, and anybody who disagrees is vilified over and over again. Very tiresome.

yellowraincoat · 21/06/2012 20:48

You could say the same in reverse Whatmeworry.

People say bf-ing in public is fine, discreet or otherwise and it's the same few posters who pop up and say "NO! A BOOB! NOT PROPER! BLERGH!"

WhiteWidow · 21/06/2012 20:48

Whospickle I'm sick of explaining, I already have done. But I get accused of being 'precious' and obviously not seeing things right and over exaggerating. Hmm I've seen many mums do it in a way akin to those who drag their kids by their arms down the street, or shove them in prams. Just horrible, bold as brass and not in a loving way at all, nothing like this natural thing people keep harping on about. And even then, it's not accepted that women stride around with their breasts bare but it's suddenly supposed to be all twee and nice when a baby is involved.

Metal elephant I've already explained that I do. I've also already said that I accept that it's peoples rights to do what they want. It doesn't mean I can't reply to this thread though, and it doesn't mean I resent the fact I have to 'look the other way' or find something dead interesting to look at at the other side of the room...

yellowraincoat · 21/06/2012 20:49

I don't think it's twee or nice or whatever.

I just think it's normal.

WhiteWidow · 21/06/2012 20:51

Oh but walking around with ones boobs out doing say, the shopping wouldn't be classed as normal though.

WhosPickleisThatOnion · 21/06/2012 20:52

whatme

Its a discussion, and I was disagreeing with someone. Hardly vilification is it?

yellowraincoat · 21/06/2012 20:53

What's your point?

Eating a plate of chips and doing the shopping wouldn't be classed as normal either but people do that in cafes.

WhosPickleisThatOnion · 21/06/2012 21:01

Whitewidow If you have seen mothers feeding agressively/ unlovingly then that is a totally separate issue than non discreetly?

So your issue isn't seeing too much breast its the agressive way in which they were feeding?

That would be the same surely if it was breast or bottle or any food.