AIBU to think that women should not have to be discreet when breastfeeding?

[lalaland3008]

I'm not saying that anyone should purposely flop both boobs out into someones dinner. But it makes me really mad that some people think women should have to be discreet when feeding their baby, sit in a corner or breastfeeding 'booth'.

I also think a breast is just not comparable to a penis to a vagina and if people are offended because they see breasts as purely sexual then that is their own problem.

Noone would object to me sitting in public drinking my coffee or feeding my baby a bottle of cows milk yet people find breastmilk offensive.

I'm not bitty mad I lasted 2 weeks breastfeeding but it still makes my blood boil that it is seen as controversial by many.

AIBU?

So, are there just two views then? Pro bf-ing in public, and anti? I love my baby and want to nurture him lovingly with eye contact all the while, or I secretly hate women and all they stand for, pass me the SMA?
Really? Nothing in between, say, I don't know...Basic manners and common sense?

Nowthen

It's not terrible to bf discretely IF IT'S WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.

But some of us just want to feed our babies without being self-conscious about it.

I prefer to bf discreetly. Do consider it good manners to not whack your breast out and squirt the waiter in the eye when hes taking your order or whatever. But I don't expect everyone to feel that way. And if its a trade off between "manners" and "feeding the baby" then the baby wins. Tbh I find it odd that any sane adult would think that manners mattered more than that but hey, takes all sorts. Still absolutely horrified at the poster who said shed ogle women sane considered were bf not discreetly enough - what kind of warped is that?

Theres nothing wrong with formula but if u want I bf in public, I don't think you should worry about others being offended. People are offended by all sorts, I would obviously show as little flesh as possible but if baby comes off unexpectedly as sometimes happens and someone catches glimpse of my nipple I'm not going to lose sleep over it and IMO, neither should they :)

Eclectic, exactly! I doubt most women want to show their breasts to the world and will BF discreetly. But sometimes these things happen.

Actually, it might seem tricky but you could avert your eyes from someone's breasts when they are feeding, look at their face or don't look at them at all. Works for me :)

It's weird that people are ok with men being topless in public, women wearing short shorts that show actually most of the arse cheek, and belly tops but not bf. you'd think you'd be more offended by other nudity too.

I think people are offended btw. But for some reason its accepted that the men will not change their behaviour. Only women - mothers - are expected to pander to the sensibilities of those around them. Because they know their place in society.

IMO, anyone with any compassion or tolerance would just let people get on with it and not let themselves be concerned. I don't like the way some people use their cutlery but I just don't watch them.

Yeah, some people could do with better table manners too. But, sure, when Uncle Eric spews me with food while he is talking, I'll be sure and avert my eyes.

I don't see the analogy between uncle Eric spitting food on you and someone bf next to you. Unless the managed to get their milk to fly accross the room and land on your face? Has that happened?

Shagmeud am I patronising you? No. So please dont do it to me whom an attempt to be funny.

HIDE.

My baby hadn't learnt table manners yet at 7.5 months - bad boy!

He dive bombs my boob, sticks his toe up my nose whilst pulling my hair or grabbing my face, all the while grunting and swallowing very noisily. He actually woke my DH up breastfeeding the other night and he snores like a train.

If I wanted to be discreet I couldn't, so in order to continue to do what I believe to be best for my baby I have had to develop a 'fuck-you' attitude. If I cared what people thought I'd either never go out or give up bf.

I love the hooter hider ideas though! Please someone make a couple and put them on etsy!!!

I did BF for over 2 years (2 DC) anywhere and everywhere, but when I saw a woman at a playgroup pop her very big breast out in front of me to feed her quiet and very complient baby, my eyes almost poped out!

Gabsid - was it because she had large breasts or was it because you were impressed that she knew her child was hungrey befor anybody else noticed?

It was the fact that she just got it all out, stripped off in public. I preferred to feed my babies a bit more discreetly, I usually pulled my top up and had some sort of loose cardigan over the top.

You prefer to breastfeed discreetly, gabsid. Some don't. What's the issue, again?

She didn't 'strip off in public' though, did she? She made her breast available to her baby, at a place where mothers and babies congregate, where it would be neither unusual nor surprising that breastfeeding would take place.

Are you normally a delicate, fragile flower, shocked and surprised by things other people might not react with 'eyes nearly popping out their head'? I hope you did not react in a way that the mother herself would notice.

im sorry it was because i saw the word breast as opposed to breasts to me that just implyed that she got one breast out to feed her child as opposed to stripped off in public.

im getting a tad nervious now because the other day i fed ds where children were around i have large breasts, i do hope it wasnt me who traumatized you.

I'm discreet (well, i thought I was)
DD has been forcing my boobs to be on display to all and sundry at the moment - customers who ask me things, obviously DD thinks they're talking to her!!
then she looks at me and laughs.

I had major feeding problems with DS1 meaning that BFing failed slowly over his first 4 months. I had equally major feeding problems with DS2 but fortunately a tongue-tie was eventually snipped meaning that we are still going at 5 1/2 months.

As a result of this, other people's over-precious sensibilities are so far down my priority list that they barely feature at all. DS2 won't tolerate anything over his face or head when feeding. I have E size breasts and he lets go if I don't hold onto my breast for the whole feed. So when I feed, I take my whole breast out over the top of my neckline, latch him on and, if possible adjust my vest top to cover some of my breast. But I'm afraid people will get a good flash of nipple if they care to look. I can feed entirely unnoticed in a sling, but only standing up as DS2 feeds upright and is too tall to sit in my lap and feed.

I quite simply do not care. I don't dance about topless shrieking "look at my booies" and if I can minimise the flesh on display I do so. But I'm not going to mess about, disturb DS2's feeding, hide in a corner or spend a fortune on special clothes. I'm going to get on with it and if anyone wants to take issue then they can do so.

I never in a million years thought that BFing at a playgroup would offend anyone. I have big breasts and when DD was very small, you would have seen some flesh. I worried about that on planes and in coffee shops. I just thought a playgroup would be more friendly.

That;s exactly how I feel kungfu. I do try to be discreet, as I prefer not to show breast (or actually tummy is worse) to all and sundry. But if it's a choice between my child feeding and a stranger getting a flash of nipple, I prioritised the tiny, vulernable, helpless one over the adult.

DC3 is due Thursday. I had loads of problems feeding the boys and they both ended up FF.

I really want to BF this baby and although I think that people that don't like BF in public need to grow up. I am starting to feel quite scared about needing to feed in public. Just because I don't particularly want people to see much of my breasts and I don't want to upset/annoy someone who is then going to moan at me.

This country really amazes me sometimes. On the one hand, hardly anyone breastfeeds and on the other hand some of those who do seem to feel the need to show it to the whole world.

See a bit of flesh, that wasn't the issue, neither the fact that she had big breasts - but to pop the breast out and then get her baby ... I have only seen that once - and quite a few of you seem to think that's appropriate .

I just used to get on with it and didn't feel the need to show to the whole room what I was doing. I am sure no-one missed it on that occasion!