to judge these parents at a wedding?

[villagegossip]

Went to the evening do of a friend's wedding this weekend. Chatting at the bar with DP to some people and a young couple came over to the people standing next to us.

They had a little boy with them about 4 yo and a TINY baby in a carrycot.

They were attracting a lot of attetion as the baby was so little and were loving telling people that he should've been born that day but was in fact 3 weeks prem.

So thinking they had come to say hi to the married couple and maybe have a drink or two, told them how gorgeous he was and went to get a seat.

They proceeded to sit at the next table and get shitfaced

Now, i'm not an old fudder but the disco was banging and there were strobe lights everywhere. The dad kept lifting him out of the carrycot to pass him around their mates for a cuddle.

Poor little chap was all curled into himself with screwed up face and clenched hands and feet like he was trying to hide

It just really upset me that he was being passed around in a really loud, bright place, to people that had been outside fagging it minutes before? and prob didn't wash their hands

Really had to bite my tongue - their other little boy spent the last 3 hours asleep on a bench before they got up and left at around 1.30am.

So AIBU to think they should have left baby with someone elsewhere if they were so determined to stay out all night getting trashed?

And this has what to do with you ?

Puts a whole new light on the 'children at weddings' argument!

Yanbu!

Oh YANBU my dd1 was three weeks preemie and I can't imagine doing this with her. Poor little thing. Hoick up the judgey pants.

I don't think u Abu at all

I think it's the pits to be honest but I know a lot of people who wouldn't bat an eyelid.

"Puts a whole new light on the 'children at weddings' argument"

puts a whole new light on the 'fgetting shitfaced' when looking after a small baby argument at least.

'3 weeks prem' - a baby born at 37 weeks is full term. That was a full-term baby, there is no such thing as 3 weeks premature.

The best time to go to a wedding with a baby is when they are really tiny and don't give a damn where they are, what time it is, can't see far enough to see anything - all they care about is milk and warmth. They also don't give a damn about who cuddles them ime, as long as they go back to parents in the end and get fed.

Their other little boy won't suffer from sleeping on a bench for a bit for one night.

Should they have gone out til 1.30am with a new baby and a toddler? Yes why the hell not. Should they have both got shitfaced whist in sole charge of the children? Definitely not.

YANBU, poor baby :(

YANBU poor baby probably didn't enjoy that sensory experience very much at all. It's not something I would have done with mine. Fair enough take baby to the wedding if invited but if it's all too loud/smokey, take it home.

Mosman - um the OP is just debating a subject she feels strongly about, which is kinda what this place is for. What does half the topics on here have to do with anyone?! YABU :)

Don't babies normally look a bit screwed up? I don't see anything wrong with taking them to a late wedding so long as they were safe.

I do object to them getting shitfaced though. A drink or two, fine, but not steaming drunk amd in charge of two small children. No way.

Yes, I think it's piss poor parenting. There's plenty of crappy parenting out there.

YANBU

poor little mite

Nope, I don't think its appropriate. DGS had ear muffs on when he was tiny to protect his little ears-looked like a DJ :o.

And 2 people getting shit-faced with a teeny baby? . When my kids were young (and not at 3 weeks), we took turns to drink.

You really mean shitfaced as opposed to "sat and had a few drinks but were perfectly lucid and still capable of feeding/nappy changing/ not doing anything stupid etc etc?

Mosman you could use the same logic to say why is it anyone's business if people kill each other etc. The point is not about their right to parent X way but that they are harming/distressing the children.

Presumably they weren't expecting to attend the wedding anyway if the baby was due that day, so they could quite well have been satisfied with a quick visit.

YANBU

YANBU.

Crap parenting.

There's no reason for them not to go to the wedding with children that young really but to both get shitfaced in charge of their children is completely irresponsible. DH and I would never both drink a lot unless the DCs were staying out overnight as one of us would have to be able to look after them properly.

The 'shitfaced' part is the only part to be concerned about, if they were staggering and unbalanced etc, when passing the baby in an unsafe manner and if that was the case you shouldn't have kept your mouth shut.

The rest is parental choice.

Am at the posters that think this is ok. Really? Its the getting drunk bit that gets me - staying up late isn't great but I suppose if its a one off and not a regular thing thats probably ok but both getting out of while in charge of such tiny children is bad.

Am I the only one slightly in awe of their ability to get out with a baby that little? DS was born at 37 weeks, and on his due date I was mostly still wearing pjs all day.

But yes, I do think it's irrespnsible to get really drunk when you're looking after children. Not too fussed about them being there to begin with though - wont do them any harm in the long term to stay up a bit later. And tiny babies don't tend to really care where they are as long there is food and cuddles (ime).

It has absolutely nothing to do with me - hence why I said nothing just deathed stared them all night

There were lots of little ones there, dancing and running around - it was lovely. Not against children there at all but think this was out of order.

Poor wee thing! So which of the drunken parents changed the pooey nappy? Hope she wasnt breastfeeding!

yanbu. The other child being there I wouldnt judge on, but definitely the tiny newborn baby