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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tell my husband to STFU about being tired

120 replies

MeconiumHappens · 09/06/2012 15:12

We have a four week old baby.
My husband is driving me mad. Whilst i was in labour he was telling me he was tired. After i had the baby he was telling me how tired he was. Now, he's telling me how tired he is when im up 4 times a night breastfeeding and he's snoring away beside me. His go to response is "well you can sleep in the day", actually no, most days i cant sleep because baby likes to sleep in really small chunks of time.
AIBU to punch him, hard, in the face the next time he tells me how tired he is.
Angry

OP posts:
FrillyMilly · 09/06/2012 15:13

YANBU

Tangointhenight · 09/06/2012 15:14

YANBU...tell him to shutup, My DH used to do the same thing, or complain about his sore fekkin back and I lost it with him.

Attention seeking of the most pathetic kind IMO

knowsitall · 09/06/2012 15:16

only if he can punch you hard in the face next time you have a moan

HTH

DamnBamboo · 09/06/2012 15:16

Could he genuinely be really tired though?

You are clearly very tired, and you have my sympathy, but that doesn't mean he isn't.

If he keeps on about it, maybe there's a good reason.

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 09/06/2012 15:17

YANBU

When I had DD2 she was born at 2am. He moaned about how tired he was. We got home from hospital at 2am and he went straight to bed as he was tired, despite having 4 hours sleep and me having none! The other week he kept going on and on about his tiredness and in the end I said 'we know you're tired, you don't have to keep on about it'

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 09/06/2012 15:18

that should be we got home from hospital at 2pm!

WorraLiberty · 09/06/2012 15:18

I expect you're both absolutely exhausted with a newborn.

Rindercella · 09/06/2012 15:18

It's probably not a great idea to be playing top trumps with tiredness. You are both going to be knackered as you have a new born baby in the house!

I personally would persuade him to go to his GP for a check-up if you genuinely believe there is no reason for your DH to be so tired.

Oh, and of course YABU. Domestic violence is not something to joke about.

Thumbwitch · 09/06/2012 15:19

YANBU.

I am 22w pg, have bad sciatica and starting to get SPD - DH drove us to the city today so I could go to the osteopath to get it fixed because the trains are off all weekend for trackwork - but he was "exhausted" when we got back. Sure, he was tired - he'd been driving for a while, we'd gone to the beach as well so sea air is always an issue for tiredness - but I don't really think that gave him a decent excuse to take to his bed the second we walked through the door.

And of course we know you don't mean it when you say you'd punch him - YANBU for wanting to though.

Grumpla · 09/06/2012 15:19

YANBU.

We have a law in my house. The law is that I am always the tiredest.

It saves a lot of competitive moaning and squabbling.

If DH wishes to pass comment on his own level of tiredness, he must first acknowledge that it is paltry compared to mine. Then I can be quite gracious and sympathetic. If he forgets, he gets the death stare until he remembers.

Honestly, I think this law has actually saved his life our marriage on a number of occasions..

Bellakins · 09/06/2012 15:21

YANBU - reminds me of being in labour throughout the night and my DH moaning that his hospital chair was too uncomfy and he couldn't sleep.

"Really darling? Baby is back to back and I'm only 2cm dilated yet contracting every 3 minutes. That's pretty tiring too."

Bah!

5Fingered · 09/06/2012 15:22

He sounds a complete cock. Yanbu

DamnBamboo · 09/06/2012 15:25

FGS, the man is tired.

Why does he deserved to be called a cock, or be punched in the face.

Really.

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 09/06/2012 15:27

He doesn't need to keep telling everyone though does he?

We all get tired. Most of us just deal with it without having to tell the world about it. And moaning about being tired when his wife is in labour is fucking disrespectful

LRDtheFeministDragon · 09/06/2012 15:27

Sorry, but I had to laugh (at him, obviously!) saying he was tired when you were in labour ... he sounds like one of those poor blokes of One Born Every Minute who manage to say the daftest things while the camera pans in on their wives' fantastic expressions in response.

Him thinking you can sleep during the day - well, if you can't, tell him so! Does he not notice at the weekends that it is not possible? Confused

(I agree you're probably knackered, btw ... just it'd be so much nicer if you could moan to each other not at each other and it sounds like he is moaning at you, and you are bottling it all up. Not fun for you. Sad).

AmberNectarine · 09/06/2012 15:28

YANBU, I have one a bit like this, except I also have a toddler so he appreciates I definitely cannot sleep in the day. Also the 'baby' is an 11 month old little sod who still wakes 4+ times a night.

My DH actually had to have a nap during my 6 hour labour. The midwife woke him up when I started pushing Hmm

Kick him in the nads :)

TheProvincialLady · 09/06/2012 15:29

Offer to tear a bigger hole in his penis, in the name of equality.

AmberNectarine · 09/06/2012 15:30
DamnBamboo · 09/06/2012 15:30

No hex that's true. But if you're tired, you're tired.

As you say, we all get tired.

Not so much disrespectful, as perhaps a little thoughtless.

Just tell him to make himself a coffee and go to bed earlier and be done with it.

Competitive tiredness is very pathetic.

Shutupanddrive · 09/06/2012 15:30

Fgs I don't think OP is literally going to punch I'm in the face is she? She is just annoyed with him (and rightly so).

MarySA · 09/06/2012 15:30

If he's tired he's tired and that's it. Whether he should be moaning on to you when you've a new baby is a different thing. Have you got other children. A first baby can be a big shock for everyone.

Shutupanddrive · 09/06/2012 15:31

Him not I'm

DamnBamboo · 09/06/2012 15:32

See, I'm clearly odd one out here (I can see that from reading other posts and I accept it to be true).

It just wouldn't annoy me that much.

OP, hope you stop feeling pissed off with him and he stops pissing you off too.

Rindercella · 09/06/2012 15:33

My DH moaned about being tired when I was in labour with DD2. I remember being in the birth pool, seeing him sat back in a nice chair, with a cup of tea in his hand and he was complaining about his back hurting. I was a tad miffed at the time, but also knew he hadn't been feeling particularly well for a while so didn't say anything. 5 weeks later he was diagnosed with a very aggressive cancer which had spread to his bones and his lymph nodes. He died a year later.

An extreme example I know but threads like this really piss me off. OP, you do not have exclusive rights on being tired. Of course you are both tired. You have a newborn baby. However, your DH is neither a cock nor deserves to be punched in the face. If he is concerned about his levels of tiredness, with a newborn or not, then he should go to his GP.

WilsonFrickett · 09/06/2012 15:33

Ah, the joys of competitive tiredness. You're both tired. Just make a rule that no-one is allowed to moan about it really wishes she'd practised what she preaches and take it in turns to have a lie-in or a nap at the weekend.