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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to tell my husband to STFU about being tired

120 replies

MeconiumHappens · 09/06/2012 15:12

We have a four week old baby.
My husband is driving me mad. Whilst i was in labour he was telling me he was tired. After i had the baby he was telling me how tired he was. Now, he's telling me how tired he is when im up 4 times a night breastfeeding and he's snoring away beside me. His go to response is "well you can sleep in the day", actually no, most days i cant sleep because baby likes to sleep in really small chunks of time.
AIBU to punch him, hard, in the face the next time he tells me how tired he is.

OP posts:

igggi · 09/06/2012 21:56

I thought that's exactly what he's saying?

5Fingered · 09/06/2012 23:00

Rindercella Sat 09-Jun-12 19:36:02
5fingered, I would be horrified if I saw a man posting, "she's a cunt who deserves to be punched in the face" about someone's wife on a forum (or anywhere for that matter). I find what you have said to be totally obnoxious and unacceptable. A man has complained a few times to his wife that he is tired. Nothing more than that. Why are you so angry?

----

Because he's been a dick. He's being a typical "the world revolves around me" bloke. Total nob. Bet he suffers from 'flu' when the OP has a cold too. If it were me, I'd bin him, I really would. Complaining that you're tired when your wife is in labour for fucks sake??? total and utter twat.

SardineQueen · 09/06/2012 23:22

damnbamboo she says that in the OP

"His go to response is "well you can sleep in the day", actually no, most days i cant sleep because baby likes to sleep in really small chunks of time. "

I don't know where the OP is but certainly it is not on for someone to complain about tiredness to a person in labour, or a person who is getting up to BF every few hours in the night.
BF itself is really tiring in the beginning, recovering from birth.... That's just how it is. Most partners are supportive and helpful, mine was anyway.

SardineQueen · 09/06/2012 23:23

I also think that the idea that on websites used predominantly by men, violent imagery is unusual are a bit deluded.

Goofus · 09/06/2012 23:29

Well, complaining of being tired while OP was in labour?

That definitely deserved a punch! In the face- obviously a bit harsh but what about a nice right hook in his shoulder? You know, wake him up a little

OP, YANBU to tell him to STFU at all. Self-centred git.

cory · 09/06/2012 23:31

Noone is saying the OPs dh has no right to be tired, only that he doesn't have to tell her about it when he has good reason to believe she is more tired, e.g. during labour.

5Fingered · 09/06/2012 23:31

I hate him.

claudedebussy · 09/06/2012 23:33

competitive tiredness is the crappest part of having a new baby.

you will come out the other side of this truly awful bit.

SchrodingersMew · 09/06/2012 23:41

Complaining about being tired while you were in labour is not on but there may be a medical reason why he is so tired, if he is knackered all the time to the point where he can actually sleep something probably isn't right.

backwardpossom · 09/06/2012 23:42

YABU. Tiredness isn't a competition.

SchrodingersMew · 09/06/2012 23:42

Meant to add; if he doesn't have anything wrong then he is being very UR and yes he does deserve to be told to STFU.

5Fingered · 09/06/2012 23:45

What, that he's too bloody stupid to realise that complaining about tiredness during his wife's labour is moronic?? I would want to shove a melon up his arse and make him shit it out. God this thread angers me so much. OP get the dickhead on here and let him explain his "Tiredness" to us.

AThingInYourLife · 09/06/2012 23:48

5Fingered, I think I love you.

avenueone · 09/06/2012 23:56

It's like man flu their tiredness is always worse than ours lol

everythingtodo · 09/06/2012 23:58

My DH was like this, really tired all the time. I told him that it wasnt normal for a fit and healthly man to feel so tired and that if it was a reality he had to go to the gp. He did (eventually!) and it turned out he had an underactive thyroid!!!!!

5Fingered · 10/06/2012 00:00

Bet he needed lots of sympathy for that everythingtodo.

We would take the necessary tablets and get on with things. A bloke would decide he was dying with it.

everythingtodo · 10/06/2012 00:08

Yes ; there has been a fair bit

Dropdeadfred · 10/06/2012 00:09

5fingered did you read Rindercillas post about her dh?

5Fingered · 10/06/2012 00:12

I hadn't, DDF, no.

I have read it now and am very sorry for your loss Rinderceller but as you said yourself, that is an extreme turn of events and there is a strong chance that the OP's DP is just being a selfish twat.

Rindercella · 10/06/2012 00:13

Fred, I doubt if she cares very much. In 5Fingered's world, only women who are giving birth or are post post-partum are worthy of feeling tired or crap or ill.

VeryAngry · 10/06/2012 00:17

YANBU

If my future DH was to complain about his fatigue while I was in labour, he'd an an earful he'd never forget. He may have been tired, but general fatigue (which we all go through) is nothing compared to labour, delivery and the aftermath.

Furthermore, if he sleeps at night while you are up feeding that baby, how exactly is he tired because of the newborn? You're doing the feedings and the staying up at night bit and I presume you are the one who takes care of the baby during the day? His fatigue is probably just work related. Well, boohoo for him. Tell him to imagine if he had stay up during the day (like you do) AND not get to sleep at night and take care of the bay 24/7.

Tell him to grow up.

Oh and to the other posters I must say this: I am quite sure OP did not mean that she would actually punch her husband. It's just a way of expressing the level of her frustration when she says she could punch him.

Dropdeadfred · 10/06/2012 00:19

Whilst I admit it's falling to have someone you believe to be getting more sleep than you tell you they are tired, everyone is different. My dh has to have uninterrupted sleep for at least 7 hours or he feels terrible the next day or two. Although I love sleep I can survive in 4-5 hours a night if I had to- I just choose not to tell him that.
I also don't seem that affected by broken sleep but he really does. I can see when he looks shattered he isn't exaggerating. We are all different and maybe OPs dh really does feel tired!!
Rindercilla - I'm sorry for your sad loss. I hope you haven't been too hurt by any comments in this thread

Dropdeadfred · 10/06/2012 00:20

Galling not falling!!

Rindercella · 10/06/2012 00:21

xposted again! 5Fingered, and there is a world in-between my extreme example and a bloke being a lazy arsed twat. Underactive thyroids are one example. DH had been diagnosed with kidney stones when DD2 was born and I thought poor sod is going to have to experience the pain of passing a stone, which is compared to giving birth by some people, without the obvious benefit of having a baby at the end of it. So that's another example.

As the OP hasn't been back, we have no idea what she and her DH have been doing. He could have been working double shifts for a month solid when she went into a 36 hour labour and he was generally knackered. Okay, not a great thing to point out when your wife is 'labouring' to give birth to your child, but not a hanging offence either.

Actually, that's just reminded me of a funny thing. When I went into labour with DD1, DH had to send an email to his colleagues to say he couldn't do a conference call as his wife had gone into labour. The colleagues were Russian. When DH went back to work, they all asked him what on earth he meant - a woman going into labour? When he explained, they got it and agreed it was bloody hard work (and that was a load of misogynistic Russians thinking that!). Oh, and with DD1, DH did nothing but hold my hand and give me loads of encouragement and praise

Rindercella · 10/06/2012 00:22

Fred I am fine, honest. And thank you.

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