to feel this way about DP staying out for the night

[OhWhatAPalaver]

i kinda think i'm being a bit silly here but not sure... i'll try and be concise.
our DD is 5 months old and a bottle refuser, meaning i am unable to go anywhere or do anything at the moment. i have completely accepted this to be the case and i don't mind too much, i can live with not being able to go out for a while.

DP works shifts, pretty much always late ones. he knew he was getting off a bit early tonight so was going to meet up with some friends (mostly girls) for a few drinks. fine by me, no problem at all. he doesn't go out often so i'm ok with this.

however, i get a text not long ago saying he is now going to his friends house, so i call him and ask how he's getting back as its not on the right bus route. he says he might get a taxi or might stay on their couch, he's not sure. i must have sounded disappointed as he said i sounded miserable. i always seem to feel sad and anxious if he stays out and i feel that, being a father now, he should be responsible and come home.

i am slightly concerned as he was only saying the other day that he wants more excitement in his life and is a bit bored at the mo as he feels like all he does is work and doesn't get much time to see his friends any more. i explained that we have a young baby and that's generally what happens for a while.... i don't want him to feel like he cant go anywhere but i really would prefer him to come home tonight rather than tomorrow. AIBU?

The poor diddums comments on here about how this manchild needs a break make me frankly want to vomit-are you all really that brainwashed by lad mags that you need at all costs to be seen as some sort of "cool" wife rather than a nag-are those really the only options? Sad.

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.com/imgres?hl=en&biw=1024&bih=546&tbm=isch&tbnid=Zb8yjMEV0zREEM:&imgrefurl=www.tvcream.co.uk/%3Fcat%3D3376&docid=rCPd0iyED2JTFM&imgurl=www.tvcream.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/hingeandbracket.jpg&w=250&h=150&ei=7zLTT9bVE-OL0AWr2_SFBA&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=513&vpy=290&dur=281&hovh=120&hovw=200&tx=114&ty=58&sig=103508336078019633289&page=1&tbnh=120&tbnw=200&start=0&ndsp=10&ved=1t:429,r:7,s:0,i:98" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">me and everlong < shows age >

Everyone needs a break Ishoes. I need a break and sometimes my dh needs a break.
It's nothing to do with trying to be a cool wife. Don't be so basic.

Steptoe and Son ?

Ishoes, I'd tell you to calm down but i suspect you would kill me.

The poor diddums comments on here about how this manchild needs a break make me frankly want to vomit

Me too but for a totally different reason.

I'm sure if the Mother wasn't coping, we wouldn't read such piss taking comments about the "The poor diddums womanchild who needs a break".

Hopefully she'd receive far more compassion and understanding on being a new parent.

In fact if every woman on MN who admitted she had trouble adjusting to parenthood, were given that sort of treatment, the site would probably close down.

'Diddums comments', 'manchild', 'brainwashed by lad mags'?

That's a very distorted view you have of relationships there Ishoes.

When you've had positive and healthy relationships it's possible to look at a situation and not see sinister motivations lurking around every corner.

A break?-what does he need a break from exactly-did I miss the post where it said he was the one ebf?

I dont need to calm down but thanks for the thought

I do so hate it when spouses are regarded like staff.

And that runs between the sexes.

Did this woman trick her dp into having a child? I didnt her mention it in any of her posts? If not then he signed up for parenthood-adjust to it? dont make me laugh! who the fuck ever "adjusts" to being a parent? you grow a pair and get on with it-not try and make your wife feel bad about denying you a "bit of excitement" -how old is he?12 ?

My "staff" is currently toiling in the garden while I am sat in bed on mn

I see so new parents only need a break if they're breast feeding?

Do you therefore think that a FF new Mother is a 'womanchild' and should just get on with it, if she's having trouble coping?

If you try to remove the 'anti man' sentiments for a minute and look at this objectively, both parents are entitled to a break if they are having trouble adjusting.

Or is it ok to have sympathy for one and ridicule the other?

You might find having a baby a breeze Ishoes, but there are plenty of posters on MN who don't.

It's unfair of you to minimize their difficulties as them just needing to grow a pair.

Well said Worra. That's what I think.
Haterz gonna be hatin tho.

There is a huge difference between having trouble adjusting than to using this as an excuse to go on the lash leaving your wife sat at home feeling unappreciated.

Why does a break have to mean staying out getting pissed all night? and why does it always seem to be on these threads that it is the man who is the one out having a good time and the woman sat at home like a drudge? but being told by you lot to suck it up like a good little wifey

Pictish-I am a haterz? grow up. And stop goading please.

Clutching at straws...clutching at straws...

Like I said about 25 pages back, it's a difference of opinion

Some women will make excuses for men when they treat their partner poorly. They will fair tie themselves and knots to do so, including berating other posters who say "hang on, that ain't a good way to treat someone"

Some won't.

Babylann has said everything I want to say perfectly up the thread.

'And stop goading please.'

The irony.

There is a huge difference between having trouble adjusting than to using this as an excuse to go on the lash leaving your wife sat at home feeling unappreciated.

I agree 100%

But since you and I have absolutely no idea whether the OP's DP is having trouble adjusting or whether he's using it as an excuse, I happen to think giving the benefit of the doubt is in order.

In just the same way I might think a new mother may be making excuses, I wouldn't actually say that.

Where am I goading agent? if I am then please feel free to report me.