to feel this way about DP staying out for the night

[OhWhatAPalaver]

i kinda think i'm being a bit silly here but not sure... i'll try and be concise.
our DD is 5 months old and a bottle refuser, meaning i am unable to go anywhere or do anything at the moment. i have completely accepted this to be the case and i don't mind too much, i can live with not being able to go out for a while.

DP works shifts, pretty much always late ones. he knew he was getting off a bit early tonight so was going to meet up with some friends (mostly girls) for a few drinks. fine by me, no problem at all. he doesn't go out often so i'm ok with this.

however, i get a text not long ago saying he is now going to his friends house, so i call him and ask how he's getting back as its not on the right bus route. he says he might get a taxi or might stay on their couch, he's not sure. i must have sounded disappointed as he said i sounded miserable. i always seem to feel sad and anxious if he stays out and i feel that, being a father now, he should be responsible and come home.

i am slightly concerned as he was only saying the other day that he wants more excitement in his life and is a bit bored at the mo as he feels like all he does is work and doesn't get much time to see his friends any more. i explained that we have a young baby and that's generally what happens for a while.... i don't want him to feel like he cant go anywhere but i really would prefer him to come home tonight rather than tomorrow. AIBU?

i think people are a bit kinder than that on here though

Some were....some really weren't.

Not sure I understand ... did he come home at 3am then or something?

So some people thought the op's oh was being inconsiderate... In just the same way as you assuming they're all gutted, you could be seen as gloating now for ' getting it right all along'.

I maintain that dp would never do that to me, I'd be pissed off if he did without prior warning while I was BFing and if a similar thread popped up today, I would say the same thing.

This op waking up and feeling silly does not change the instinctual reaction of many of the posters who I believe will continue to be irked on her behalf as couples should go through the bad times together or at least with the respect of fully communicating plans with each other instead of just pissing off for an entire night with no warning.

Oh I am totally gloating! Back of the net!

hello, everlong , found yourself a bandwagon didn't you ?

good for you

I think you may have imagined a couple of things you think I said though. Never mind, what's a bit of poetic licence between friends ?

OP, I am glad your husband decided his night out away from the boredom, drudgery and routine of having a small baby in the home didn't turn into that exciting greener grass he thought he was missing. A lesson learned for him, I think. Maybe next time, he will put your needs as more of a priority and realise that selfishness doesn't always result in you feeling great about how you got what you wanted.

I didn't say you were gloating, I said if you can argue some people are gutted to be wrong that it could also be argued those who got it right are gloating.

Babylann, I agree that making comments like "I bet the he's a selfish twat brigade are gutted" are waaaay outta line

Yeah, 'cos there are harpies on Mumsnet whose raison d'etre is to split up every couple they can.

ohwhatapalava thanks for your reply at 10.27. Thinking about it, i am pretty sure me and and my 48 year old DP have greived for life before DD, who is 7, it is a massive change and i STILL miss it. So maybe i was being a bit harsh on your DH. Still think he needs to be stepping up today and helping out, as he should be doing every day. This WILL pass though and he can do his fair share of babysitting soon enough. I think he was inconsiderate last night - but if it really is a rare occurance i certainly wouldn't be kicking off over it. If if happens regularly, i most certainly would be sitting him down and reading the riot act.

I think with all the bickering on this thread, the OP has conducted herself really well, like :)

comments like "back of the net" surely means the poster is losing sight of the fact the OP is a real person whose life we are talking about, it's not just a challenging debate you want to win.

I for one would be very happy if the OP's DP is the nicest guy on earth..because it's a real situation for her and not just "words on a screen"

Oh ffs I was playing up to you!
Making a quip, cracking a joke...poking fun at you.

Sheeeeesh!

good, I hoped that was case but some people on here would actually be serious saying that stuff you know

I think that everlong and anyfucker are actually the same person, just with a split personality, like jekyl and hyde

Sometimes i agree with everlong

Sometimes i agree with anyfucker

which one is which though, doggie ?

I prefer Hinge and Brackett myself

everlong..yes, true..but also some posters on MN seem to get caught up in laying into each other rather than thinking of the OP IMO (have strayed that way myself)

Same here Doggie - I regularly agree with both!

Laurel and Hardy

Glad you're feeling better today OP.

It can take a long time for both of you to adjust to having a new baby in the house and at 5 months old, she's still new.

Every little problem you both face is a learning curve and as (from what you've written) your DP seems like a decent man, I'm sure you'll both get through any learning curves together.

I don't know if he's home yet but if he is, go and grab a hot bubble bath and some much needed sleep.