to ask you all (especially fellow red-heads) what the hell i should do about this orange bridesmaid dress?

[mumofbumblebea]

cousin getting married. was asked to be bridesmaid about a year and a half ago and i was chuffed (love a bit of wedding fever). at the time the bride said "don't worry, i won't make you wear bright orange or pink or anything like that". fast forward a year and a half later and the bride has chosen orange bridesmaid dresses. now the other bridesmaids are all darker and thinner and taller than me and the dresses look beautiful on them. tried mine on as well at the weekend and i look like a bloody carrot. i said at the time (without wanting to upset the bride) that it wasn't a colour i would normally wear and i was a bit worried that it didn't suit me. she and the other bridesmaids insisted i looked lovely and apparently it won't clash as much if i have my hair in a bun . took a few pictures to see if it looked any better on camera and it looked even worse. have shown other people the pictures and everyones reaction so far has been "oh bloody hell". i'm going to have to pay £130 for this dress that looks hideous. we haven't paid for the dresses yet, am i unreasonable to give her a call tonight and explain that i really don't like the dress even though i know she loves them?
if IABU, any advice on how i can get away with wearing this dress?

The next service we need for our car will require a cam belt change, which will cost about £1000.

Is this any good to you?

That is really ORANGE.

PM me the phone number, MumofBumble. I will phone Bridezilla.

oh god i've just thought it's an october wedding.
pumpkins...

Yes, Ruby, then she'll look like she's been TANGOED!

What can you say though? I'll only wear it if you pay for it?

Don't lie about the car, in case she then offers to buy the dress cause she is so set on it.

"I am really sorry, but the colour is horrible on me. I love you dearly and am honoured that you asked me, but if you are set on this dress then you should think about asking someone else."

When are you ringing her?

I'd pull out, but this is a lose-lose situation for you. :( (although she's entirely to blame for it)

Just be honest.

You would feel really uncomfortable having to wear a dress in a colour that just does not suit you--you would hate to spoil the photos etc.

Thanks for asking me to be bridesmaid but will have to withdraw resign etc etc

Oh goodness, that really is very bright. Saying that, having been a bride, I think you should wear what she wants...although she should be paying, it is different you offered.

i would normally say honesty is the best policy, but i know that with my cousin this will lead to an almighty row, and i know that she is excited and dont want to ruin it for her. plus i do want to go and see her get married and have a lovely day without things being 'awkward'.
i know she won't offer to lend me the money, she is...ahem...a bit too tight.
i know she will mention the money to my mum so me and her have agreed to say that she has leant us money to get the car fixed so we can't ask her for more financial help.
maybe just getting preggers was a better idea...

calling after eastenders

I can't believe there are some people who telling her she should just grin and bear it. She has to pay £130 for this monstrosity!

I've really struggled with OldGrey's ascerbic commentry recently. I would agree on the whole with what she said except for the rather crucial point, that is if you want someone to wear something they don't like, you at least have to stump up the cash.

I wanted a smokey/steel blue dress for my bridesmaids but my best mate said she looked awful and anaemic in the colour blue. I was paying - I could have said 'Tough luck love' but I actually wanted the people I had chosen to be my bridesmaids to be happy and glowing, so I didn't, and put them in a dark-teal instead. I had to marry-up olive and dark with pale and auburn - it's not asking the impossible to find a colour that people would be happy in.

She should pay for the dresses, whatever the colour. You can't make someone pay for a £230 dress that's not of their choosing. Or even pay towards the dress.

Don't worry about it, I'm sure you will look just lovely

I actually think you can wear orange as a redhead, a work colleague wears a lot of the "in" orange print stuff as a redhead and looks fab.

However I can't believe you are having to pay for a dress of her choice the cheek!!

Oh God, I was one of those nasty brides that didn't pay for my Matron of Honour's dress!! To be fair, I did say she could wear whatever she wanted, long, short, cocktail or floaty, and she didn't seem overly bothered (she chose a made to measure bitter chocolate silk sheath - and looked lovely).

OP I feel for you. You won't ever wear the dress again, so choose the least awkward and least painful way of getting out of it. Bit of Dutch courage beforehand, and off you go. Best done soonest, I think.

Oh this isn't going to be nice, is it? (sorry :( )

HerMajesty

I think you will just have to back out and tough on her, and I'm that she is asking you to pay, I paid for all my bridesmaids dresses (and chose nice ones with them present too, they looked fab and could be used as ball gowns afterwards).

There are some lovely dresses on HerMaj's link, but it really does depend on the wearer's skin tone.

Orange is quite unforgiving.

The only stipulation I had was "no purple", when my SIL asked me to be her bridesmaid, and she chose a lilac/blue dress with a purple sash. I thought I would hate it but actually really liked it and have since started wearing purple tones.

Ideas for accessories here

right eastenders has finished.
time to make the phone call.
going with seabuckthorns idea.
she had better know her stuff about cars!

Truely great thread, I hope we get to hear the conclusion.

Loving the easy jets, carrots, pumpkins etc comments and the links to green head gear.

If you didn't have to pay for the dress I would just grin and bear it and change into something nicer after dinner

Good luck with the call, OP!