To get annoyed by the constant comments about DS's red hair?

[BakingBunty]

DS (9 months) has beautiful red hair. It's the first thing that people comment on when they see him. Many of the comments are because people are genuinely intrigued - neither myself or DH have red hair (and no, neither does the milkman...), and I totally understand this. Some of the comments are nice ones. However, most of the comments are along the lines of 'ah well, it might change as he gets older' or 'what were the chances of that, you poor things'. I just smile and tell them that I love it, but it breaks my heart to think that people may still be commenting when he is old enough to understand. DF in particular is a prime example of someone who can't resist commenting on it, but I think he - and others - would think I'm being over sensitive if I told them to keep their remarks to themselves. AIBU to want them all to shut up? And what's the best way of handling it?

As a ginger myself I totally sympathise. I was always swamped with comments nice and nasty as a child and as a result I hated my hair. However now I am an adult I have learnt to love my hair as a point of difference and was a bit sad that none of my three kids has red hair.

I guess the point I'm making is that people will always make comments and you and your ds will just get used to it. Best thing you can do is teach him lots of witty rejoinders and remind him how many cool and gorgeous gingers (such as the divine Damian Lewis) there are out there.

I have no advice on how to get people to stop doing it, but I have had similar. DS had red hair (neither me nor DH have it) which did then go brown as he got older. DD had blonde hair and blue eyes (which neither me nor DH have), and the gossip was (for quite a while) that our young blonde, blue eyed childminder was actually DD's mother, impregnated by DH, and that me and DH were raising the child but letting the biological mother 'look after' DD some of the time.

It was utterly ludicrous as the childminder had dyed her hair blonde; it wasn't even naturally blonde. I think you just have to let people get on with their own idiocy, but remind them not to make comments in front of your child when he gets old enough to understand what is being said.

Yanbu. I am so sad for your ds. A large handful of my girlfriends, btw, love men with red hair.

I had red hair as a child, now auburn, and I got a couple of "thank god he didn't have red hair" when my son was born, (mostly from DH). I just ignore then.

As a child it's hard because you're different, but as an adult I love being a bit different. I would tell your df it upsets you and as him not todo it. And think of a good come back to others. I don't have a good one I afraid!

I cannot understand this attitude to red hair - I think it's gorgeous. One of my DN's has a friend who has the gingerest of ginger hair and he's one of the most beautiful children I've ever seen!

I can't abide people who make negative comments about any child's appearance, for whatever reason. I think it's so nasty. I would say something OP to nip it in the bud because it's not fair at all that you should have to bite your tongue to such mean comments. Totally unacceptable.

Not sure on the best way of handling it, but I always find myself biting my tongue not to comment on red-headed children because I think their hair looks gorgeous but I am aware that parents probably get too many comments to welcome even positive ones.

I have told a girl with beautiful red curls how jealous I was of her gorgeous hair - I hope she didn't mind

just say "was that meant to be as rude as it came out" and glare at them

bang out of order

My DM refused to accept DDs red hair when she was born.

She is 17 mo now and when friends came to stay over for the weekend one said ' wow she really is ginger' she then said 'I think it looks nice on girls'.

God I can't believe people are so rude and negative! I would say "I hope it doesn't change...we all love it."

Or "Well we think his hair is gorgeous....can't say the same about your manners." and walk away.
My Mum has that Titian red hair and my younger DD has it too...we were hoping and hoping one of ours would get the red gene and were actually a little dissapointed when DD1 had almost black hair...DD2 has i though...plus curls! We love it.

I have ginger hair and like most of us 'cursed with the affliction' I've heard all the nice/nasty comments you can think of. The older you get the ratio of nice comments to nasty ones goes up though, thankfully.

If anyone says horrible comments (even unintentionally), call them up on it. Ask them why they think its a shame - after all, if you as your DS' mum won't stand up for his hair, who will?

He's a very lucky boy - no-one will ever forget him in a crowd! And you're lucky too secretly wish my DD had my hair colour. :)

I love ginger/ red/ auburn hair and don't understand why some people have a problem with it. I nearly always comment when I see a child with a beautiful redhead, and came on this thread because I was feeling guilty about it. However, my comments are always "I love his hair" or "her hair is so beautiful" so I hope I will be forgiven

AND my DHs best looking mate has red hair...light ginger...he's a stunning man, large and well built and I can tell you now that his hair hasn't stopped women flocking after him all his adult life!

My DD has beautiful strawberry blonde hair now, when she was born it was a gorgeous ginger shade and has faded over the years. My exp was a bit surprised as it was unexpected, he got over it though.

She gets comments all the time, always positive. Especially from older people and when we were in the US.

Although, if anyone dared say anything mean to her I would go crackers. I love red hair and I'd prefer to my own mousy brown any day.

YANBU at all and I also sympathise.

I wasn't at all happy that my own family were "oo I hope your baby doesn't have your red hair" - bastards!! Mine isn't even "proper" red but I was always picked on at school and called Ginge and other ruder things.

Even DH! whose mother had auburn red hair and who chose to marry me, even having reddish hair - even he said he hoped DS wouldn't have red hair. As it turns out, he didn't - but I would have loved it if he had!

I hate when people are so rude about red hair - especially as it's then the colour that most people choose to dye their own bloody hair later on!

I too can't understand this.

My children don't have red hair but I think it's beautiful (I would love it myself actually).

Sorry no advice OP but I really would just carry on as you are, stating that you love it and he gets lots of lovely compliments on his hair. Not the same, but I have twins and people always feel free to comment on that.

Tell them it was such a relief to have a red headed child as you were worried they would be a run of the mill mousey blonde/brunette etc. (change as per colour of insulter's hair).

I'm a ginger myself and went through the inevitable nick names etc. I make a point of reassuring family with similar colouring that they are indeed very lucky, not to mention, special that they have such an uncommon hair colour! Only the really special children are given red hair!!!

Thank you everyone. I'm going to put some serious thought into the witty rejoinders! And speak to DF, too.

Stealth, I'm sure the curly redhead was delighted!

I think sadly they are probably alluding to the fact that it ain't easy having red hair and harder, I think, for boys than for girls. I'm sure it does look great, objectively mine looks ok too, doesn't stop me hating it though.

Josh Homme is pretty damn gorgeous as well!

Move to Hong Kong. He'll be mobbed. They love red heads!! My friend's son gets chased by mainlanders with cameras who want to get their picture taken with him.

I love the fact that even though red heads are apparently dying out (sad times) it's a gene that pops up when least expected to say 'Ha! Can't get rid of me that easily'!

Sophie Ellis Bextor has a gorgeous red haired son

celebritybabies.people.com/2008/07/17/sophie-ellis-be-3/

I am always baffled at people who make negative comments about red hair. Why does anyone dislike it? I think red hair is fabulous, my DHs hair was crazy red until he was about 25 and has got darker with the years and now there isn't a trace . I hoped my DCs would have red hair but they are more blonde, when the sun shines on it a certain way I can see the ginger, but it just ain't enough to call them red heads.

Vicky, I think one of the reasons I get upset is because I hate the thought of it not being easy as he gets older.

But as Nini says, as his mother it's my job to stick up for him and his wonderful barnet until he's old enough to tell the idiots where to go!

Damien Lewis is the ginger man of the moment. He wears it well.

YANBU. They are rude, and ridiculous.

I have quite a thing for red headed men. Just think of Toby Stephens, Damien Lewis, Josh Homme, Paul Bettany, Eddie Redmayne ....