To get annoyed by the constant comments about DS's red hair?

[BakingBunty]

DS (9 months) has beautiful red hair. It's the first thing that people comment on when they see him. Many of the comments are because people are genuinely intrigued - neither myself or DH have red hair (and no, neither does the milkman...), and I totally understand this. Some of the comments are nice ones. However, most of the comments are along the lines of 'ah well, it might change as he gets older' or 'what were the chances of that, you poor things'. I just smile and tell them that I love it, but it breaks my heart to think that people may still be commenting when he is old enough to understand. DF in particular is a prime example of someone who can't resist commenting on it, but I think he - and others - would think I'm being over sensitive if I told them to keep their remarks to themselves. AIBU to want them all to shut up? And what's the best way of handling it?

One of the Irish newspapers reported a while ago that a sperm bank (perhaps in Holland) was refusing anymore 'donations' from red headed men as they couldn't shift the stuff.

misslinnet, yes; I believe he's said that <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=benedict+cumberbatch&hl=en&client=firefox-a&hs=4id&sa=X&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&biw=1216&bih=670&tbm=isch&prmd=imvnsuo&tbnid=qjgk5G6TEBvxVM:&imgrefurl=www.fanpop.com/spots/benedict-cumberbatch/images/14551555/title/benedict-cumberbatch-various-photo-shoots&docid=_37Nvln1rubE0M&imgurl=images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/14500000/Benedict-Cumberbatch-various-photo-Shoots-benedict-cumberbatch-14551555-511-594.jpg&w=511&h=594&ei=xnLPT_3vCqrE0QW4tczJCw&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=306&sig=100905212096207828663&page=1&tbnh=147&tbnw=112&start=0&ndsp=22&ved=1t:429,r:18,s:0,i:162&tx=52&ty=40" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this is his natural colour ? auburnish.

Although he has sported some fairly bright shades of ginger, as well as gingery-blonds, presumably when between roles/hair colours: <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=benedict+cumberbatch&hl=en&client=firefox-a&hs=4id&sa=X&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&biw=1216&bih=670&tbm=isch&prmd=imvnsuo&tbnid=h6HKltE2fpnjmM:&imgrefurl=www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/features/3203737/Sherlock-Holmes-Benedict-Cumberbatch-helps-disaffected-teens.html&docid=XqCMpKVzbYEb9M&imgurl=img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01153/SPREAD-MAIN_1153979a.jpg&w=280&h=390&ei=xnLPT_3vCqrE0QW4tczJCw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=852&vpy=285&dur=558&hovh=244&hovw=174&tx=123&ty=288&sig=100905212096207828663&page=1&tbnh=147&tbnw=99&start=0&ndsp=22&ved=1t:429,r:20,s:0,i:166" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here y'are

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=benedict+cumberbatch+frankenstein&hl=en&client=firefox-a&hs=0Qy&sa=X&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&biw=1216&bih=670&tbm=isch&prmd=imvnso&tbnid=SEvWJoH20krM0M:&imgrefurl=davidjrodger.wordpress.com/2011/03/25/live-theatre-broacast-to-cinema-via-satellite-frankenstein-danny-boyle-jonny-lee-miller-benedict-cumberpatch-review/&docid=wWpX3cDrAB5XQM&imgurl=davidjrodger.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/jonny-lee-miller-and-benedict-cumberbatch-in-frankenstein-at-the-national-theatre1.jpg%253Fw%253D614&w=460&h=276&ei=aXPPT_24HOOi0QXFstzJCw&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=465&sig=100905212096207828663&page=2&tbnh=138&tbnw=230&start=15&ndsp=22&ved=1t:429,r:2,s:15,i:110&tx=187&ty=92" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here's another

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=benedict+cumberbatch&start=122&hl=en&client=firefox-a&hs=A7I&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&biw=1216&bih=670&tbm=isch&tbnid=x3GFBvYLFNqhpM:&imgrefurl=www.radiotimes.com/news/2012-04-07/benedict-cumberbatch-beats-barack-obama-and-lady-gaga-in-time-magazine-100-poll&docid=KdY5iB96EgccIM&imgurl=www.radiotimes.com/rt-service/image/render/Benedict_Cumberbatch_beats_Barack_Obama_and_Lady_Gaga_in_Time_magazine_100_poll.jpg%253FimageUrl%253D/Libraries/News_and_blogs_images/PA-11540808.sflb.ashx%2526width%253D580%2526height%253D350%2526quality%253D85%2526mode%253Dcrop&w=580&h=350&ei=mXPPT9vdJsHW0QWAvIHKCw&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=415&sig=100905212096207828663&page=6&tbnh=158&tbnw=214&ndsp=27&ved=1t:429,r:11,s:122,i:81&tx=40&ty=80" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">just putting pics up gratuitously now

NeedlesCuties thanks for that. Fascinating stuff, poor old redheads.

Did not know Benedict Cumberbatch was ginger. Don't fancy him either way. Eddie Redmayne is cute aside from the weirdly wide mouth.

My son has red hair. I never had negative comments about it when he was a baby - it's beautiful.

When he went to secondary school he - he called himself the Ginger Ninja and completely disarmed any negativity that might have come his way.

Consequently, he was chuffed in his first week to have 6th formers tell him how cool his long red hair was.

He gets called Ron Weasley occasionally, but has got a bank of witty retorts which tends to stop it dead. The positive comments far outweigh the negative ones.

squoosh, YABU.

My DS had light, beautiful red hair as a child, now auburn with green eyes. He is gorgeous (even though I do say so myself).

If red hair is so bad, why do I always see wimmen out who choose to dye their hair red?

I would far, far rather be a redhead like my stunning mate than a mouse-brunette who has to spend hours in the hairdresser every 6 weeks to coax my hair into something semi-acceptable. I have never understood the red-hair negativity.

LadyClarice Mr Cumberbatch has cast an elaborate spell over a large swath of normally sane minded men and women. The hilarious thing, hee hee hee, is that he's managed to persuade these people that he is in fact fanciable.

How Mr Cumberbatch laughs to see how his unlikely plan has worked. :)

Mama and Papa Cumberbatch were quoted as saying 'We're stunned quite frankly, we love him because we're his parents, but no, he wouldn't be what we'd have chosen lookswise'

Katie I put an order in for one with red hair and green eyes. We got the red hair, but not the green eyes.

I would say "thank you, it's nice isn't it? I'm so glad my DC's hair isn't 'mouse'" 9/10 times you will be talking to someone with "mouse" hair.
Off topic but I once had an old lady comment on my DD's 'chubbiness' not very nicely in a you'd better watch what she eats, she'll have no friends way. I said "she's lovely, peo

people who matter have never commented so rudely"

I think it's because racism/ablism/homophobia/sexism are (theoretically) unacc eptable now. We're the only ones left to pick on.

julia it's jealousy.

My DH had fiery red hair when younger...now in his sixties it is a lovely deep bronze colour. He does tend to feel sorry for ginger haired children as he suffered with negative attitudes when at school, mostly from teaching staff who seemed to think that a red haired boy would naturally be bad tempered. As a result he learned very early to exhibit self control under even the most trying circumstances.

We have a two year old grandson who has beautiful reddish hair and his GF's saphire blue eyes...utterly gorgeous he is.

When I was pregnant I had all kinds of comments like that, as I have gorgeous red hair. 'What will you do if he's ginger?' What is the expected answer to that? 'Oh, I'll probably float him down the river in a woven basket?' Also other people chipping in and saying '...but your hair isn't proper red is it? More strawberry blonde/auburn/other red euphemism.' Errr no, I'm not embarrassed about my hair so I don't need to rename its colour.
Also my SIL 'You and your brother are good looking redheads not that horrible ugly red look. What? (She is fucking rude though). As if all brunettes and blondes are belters.
People are very narrow minded about redheads. It's their problem.

ds has golden red hair his hair colour is unusual and he has dark brown eyes but he is not strawberry blonde. he has had mainly positive remarks though quite a few ah well it may change the worse being oh dear he will be bullied at school :( this played on my mind for ages. as he has got older and his hair has got lighter he has had less remarks over his hair colour but when he does it is now always positive. we were at a party a few weeks ago and half the children were redheads there seems to be a large number of red haired children around here :)

when we got to the US he has constant positive comments made on how beautiful his hair is

I dnt understand why people are so rude aout people with red hair, one of my closest friends spent her youth dyeing her hair every colour under the rainbow because she dd not like her red hair, and this was purely due to other people being nasty to her. no matter how much myelf an others told her it was beautiful. she is only appeciating i now. Im black so unless i dye it, theirs no chance. Just teach her to love it and tell ex-family that she will get enough grief they dont need to add to it.

Yanbu. My DD has red hair, inherited from MiL, DH and I are both blonde, we get lots of comments. Just ignore them.

DH has ginger hair, it was orangey ginger when he was young and has gone redder over the years. I regularly dye my mousey brown/greying hair a copper colour because I think it looks really classy!
I always hoped that one of our DC's would inherit his hair colour, we now have a dark brown son, a blonde daughter and our youngest DD was born with lovely red hair :)
Tell them to sod off...
YANBU at all.

If red hair is so bad, why do I always see wimmen out who choose to dye their hair red?

Because with dye, you don't get the skin tone and freckles that often (but not always) accompanies red hair.

Also, the dyes tend not to be a particularly 'natural' shade of red.

Well mine isn't anyway, it's almost pillar box at the moment

I'm afraid I always comment on red-haired children. I have a redhead father and am strawberry myself. DD is looking strawberry too. I always comment because I live somewhere with a really high proportion of redheads and elsewhere they may be in decline. I love red hair except for my shitty see through skin.

I think I read somewhere that about 10% of the Scottish population has red hair? Highest in the world

Think I must have an unusual combo of many of the topics mentioned in this thread; red hair, green eyes and thesis negative A blood!! I once also read that a study in 2002 claimed that redheads are harder to sedate than others and can apparently need up to 20% more anaesthesia!?

Oops! Rhesus neg!

Two of my DDs have red hair, one wavy and one curly, DD1's a little lighter than DD3's, and both wear it long. They both have paler than pale skin and blue eyes and a tendency to freckle, DD3 moreso than DD1, who never goes out without sunscreen. I suspect DD3 won't freckle as much as she gets older.

They never experienced negative comments about it in the US or Ireland -- in fact the opposite. I wonder if this may be down to a different idea of what constitutes manners in the US - complimenting others is a way of icebreaking there, and you would rarely hear a negative remark from someone who wasn't as close as family. However, I think it's partly down to red hair being associated with Irishness in the US, and since Irishness is seen as a huge positive there, it's a plus to have red hair. In the UK, otoh, the Celtic fringe has more negative connotations and nothing says Irish or Scots like red hair does.