To get annoyed by the constant comments about DS's red hair?

[BakingBunty]

DS (9 months) has beautiful red hair. It's the first thing that people comment on when they see him. Many of the comments are because people are genuinely intrigued - neither myself or DH have red hair (and no, neither does the milkman...), and I totally understand this. Some of the comments are nice ones. However, most of the comments are along the lines of 'ah well, it might change as he gets older' or 'what were the chances of that, you poor things'. I just smile and tell them that I love it, but it breaks my heart to think that people may still be commenting when he is old enough to understand. DF in particular is a prime example of someone who can't resist commenting on it, but I think he - and others - would think I'm being over sensitive if I told them to keep their remarks to themselves. AIBU to want them all to shut up? And what's the best way of handling it?

Ah, Damian Lewis... Where's the 'swoon' emoticon?!

I have auburn hair, and it was much more ginger when I was younger. I suffered at school because of it. I would still never say that I like my hair colour.

DD (15 months) is fairer than me, but definitely has a ginger tinge to her hair. I'm already terrified she'll be picked on because of it. I've got to try really hard not to pass on my negativity about my hair colour to her but being a ginger kid was not easy in the 80's...no idea if attitudes have changed in schools now.

My Mum and nephew have red hair, Mum's is lovely and I've always loved it being different. Nephew's has now lightened so not really worthy of the comments we all know about.
A little boy in school with ds has the most gorgeous bright gingery hair and I love it- and oh boy is he fiery, what a wonderful look on his face all the time (sometimes cheecky!) and his hair just makes it even better!
I am usually very envious of women with red hair as it is usually the thickest, and as it happens usually the last to go grey (I'm pretty sure these are facts because of the type of hair) and I feel this because I am so thin I'm nearly bald on top (Unfortunately so is my Mum's).
It bothers me in general when anybody comments negatively about someone else's situation. Esp red hair, being large when pregnant etc etc the list is endless. As someone else said you really should ask was that meant to sound so rude?! If it's about hair then I think a fair response could be "oh god no why would we want it to change? He might end up boring brown like most of the population!" if you completely throw it back at them and turn a negative remark in to a positive one it may make them rethink. Or as someone else said you are perfectly within your rights to challenge their remark of "you poor things" with "why"? And they will have to answer. It is so rude.
Ooooh I do like a good challenge. I am not so good at thinking on the spot though so I would need to have a few comments up my sleeve.

My 6 month old DD has red hair and it's always the first thing people comment on. Although, I haven't had anything too negative yet.. apart from the "oh, well hair colour can change a lot when they're little" brigade. Most people tell me her hair is gorgeous.

What makes me laugh is when people say "Oh, she's got beautiful hair like her mummy!" (hides red hair dye and puts hand over unsightly natural roots )

People can be awful about ginger hair. When my mum had one of my younger brothers (very red hair at birth, now lighter, but certainly ginger), she was sitting in her hospital bed crying because the birth had been quite traumatic. The MW came over and said 'don't worry, I've got a ginger one too!'

She actually thought she was crying because she'd had a ginger child. Shocking.

I'd disagree with the grey part bramblina. As great as red hair is it's generally pretty quick to fade. Ginger men go quite salt and peppery early on and all the red haired women I know have definitely lost some of the red the older they've got.

I think it's a jealousy thing myself. Red/orange is the colour in the spectrum that first catches the eye. There is nothing more beautiful than red hair.
Coming from a large Irish family we have every shade from pale gold to Titian red.
I remember in my teens buying Body Shop Henna in a feeble attempt to emulate all the beautiful red heads in the family, I always ended up a holy divine show think an extra from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Also the redheads and natural blondes we see today are a rare and beautiful thing and soon there won't be any.
YANBU, people are rude and ignorant and have no taste at all. Let them have their mousey browns.

Oh and as an added plus, Red haired people have a higher pain thresh hold. There was a paper done a few years ago, honest, can't do the linky thing, but they found people with red hair are better able to withstand pain.

I've never understood the negative connotation of red hair (particularly in the UK). I think it is absolutely beautiful and I would love to have naturally beautiful red hair. I think a lot of the negativity is jealousy as red hair is very unique and makes redheads stand out. You should be proud, I bet he is gorgeous!

Red hair with brown eyes is especially lovely

DS2 is a redhead and we've had 19 years of comments about it, almost all positive, but that may be because we've encouraged him to embrace his specialness (only 1:100) have red hair.

What fascinates me is that its not just a colour, its a whole syndrome, with all sorts of other weirdnesses going along with it, some good, some not so good. DS2 is colour blind, has strange pigmentation on his retina (apparently), has all sorts of funny skin blemishes (giant freckles on his scalp being just one), is a "bleeder", has difficulty regulating his temperature (gets too hot and can't cool down easily, gets too cold and can't get warm), "blue" extremities... all of which have been mentioned to me as being "red hair" things. Its something to do with all the recessive genes being manifest.

Keep a look out for the other things that make your redhead special, and remember, genetically he's a "true Brit" - an indigenous person!

Gosh some people are silly-I think red hair[all shades] is absolutely beautiful.My m-i-l had red hair and I really hoped one of my dc would inherit it.No such luck both started off very blonde and ended up very dark!Ds has brown eyes and dd has blue eyes.

Squoosh - I'd certainly agree that the redness fades or diminishes with age - but I'm not sure about the grey. My hair is still virtually untouched by grey/white hair, and I'm nearly 45. Don't know if that's genetics, hair colour or lack of damaging processes - but it's what I've got. Mine's not thick though - probably because it still has a lot of blonde in it - and I've noticed that there are substantial thickness variations in the hairs, the blondest ones being the thinnest and the reddest ones like fine copper fuse wire - thick and wiry.

Weren't red heads connected to witchcraft way back when? I think that may be where some of the prejudice has come from.

Witch, 'holy divine show' is my new favourite expression!

squoosh this link mentions that idea red hair myths

I love ginger hair, and also hate the way people think it's something to be commented on, especially regarding children. People can be so cheeky and really a child doesn't need to hear anything negative about his/her appearance.

I have 3 boys with red hair. Apparently it's more acceptable for girls. That seems to be the consensus. Ds2 is 7 and wants to dye his black. I absolutely love it.

my mum's hair has faded from copper to brown but she's still not grey despite being over 60.

i'd have happily had my mum's hair colour, i'd have been less keen on the burn in a minute skin.

i do think there's more negativity in the uk than in other counties. when i lived in the midwest my friends with red hair got nothing but compliments and amazement that it was natural

DS2 (22 months) is a red head, neither DH nor I have any relatives with red hair so no idea where it comes from. I love it, and he really suits it. As for negative comments, we haven't had many at all.

I can honestly say, hand on heart, why would anyone even comment on it.
Red hair is glorious, I dream of being someone with that rich colour, which is getting rarer.
Rejoice in the fact that he has red hair and totally ignore the fact that anybody has a problem with it.

If I suited it I'd go red in a flash.

My daughter has red hair and it is a throwback on both sides I think. Isn't red hair a recessive gene in some cases? My dd2 is like cat nip to little old ladies. She has titian red hair and brown eyes and melts grannies hearts the world over. In the summer she has highlights of copper, gold and deep red, the sort of thing women pay good money to have doen at the haridressers

DH is from the NW and I think she has a large streak of viking in her. I am Irish so there is bound to be something wandering around in the background that is red. but she is stunning and fuck the begrudgers.

Ooh TY Squoosh

We are auburn and proud. I was teased at school but love my hair colour now and it has only been a positive as an adult.

I had red hair growing up, well strawberry blonde but that may sound pretentious of me. I HATED it. Constantly picked on at school......Duracell, Tony, Smelly Ginger person . So much so I started dying it as soon as I could afford proper hairdressing. It makes me so mad that people think it's ok to comment derogatory remarks about your hair colour.

However I think Prince Harry and Ed Sheeran deserve a medal for embracing their gorgeous hair colour and are well fit according to my teenage DD so I think the message is embrace it and use some of the above put downs as above.

I don't get the aversion to red hair in the UK. I never came across it in Ireland. I had quite a few friends with red hair and nothing was ever said about it, except to compliment it maybe. In Irish the word for red hair is "rua" which roughly translates as "foxy," so a red haired person is often referred to as "foxy" where I come from - which isn't a bad thing :)

My DS is ginger too, so I feel your pain.
We have had all manner of rude comments. The worst was a woman who blocked the path in front of me as I walked with DS in his buggy, to say the "Ginger nut fell in a cut" rhyme.
I was not impressed, and informed her thusly! (it is a horrible rhyme if you don't know it about a child being eaten by fish iirc)
He was about 10 months at the time.
Since then I have just got thick skinned to the comments about his hair - but still struggle with nasty comments about his eczema (which is bad, but we are trying our best with creams and medications - see a dermatologyst)
that make out I allowed him to have a bad fall