Was I unreasonable here.

[Yummymummyyobe1]

I was going to name change for this but don't think it is necessery. Anyway here goes.

My DP, me and our DS1 live in quite a nice area. We are on first name terms with the three neighbours to the left of us and are quite friendly you know the sort of thing popping in for a cuppa, and neighbourhoog get togethers as well as lists of contact number and spare keys to one anothers homes.

Anyway to the right hand side there are how do I put this delicately?? a couple of properties where the famliy's/tenants are less then salubrious police visits are numerous and their genral behaviour is frightful for example their children seem to think it is more than acceptable to trespass on private property by climbing over the wrought iron work and playing chase across the four front gardens.

So today my DP and his father popped out for an hour whilst I stayed in with our DS1 whist he napped. Anway the door bell went and as bold as brass a member of the family to the right had the audacity to knock on the scrounge. We had just had a delivery of baby related items a new supply of nappies and formula you know the sort of thing. She stood on the doorstep and asked if I had some spare baby formula and nappies as they were sort this week. I politely said we didn't (a small white lie a know) anyway after this she stood there and asked if I was sure, as we have a small baby ourselves. At this my blood began to boil a little as no should mean no and not a chance to negotiate.

Anyway after storming down our front path and slamming the gate closed I overheard her say something about people like them. Ha what a nerve I think she has that very wrong and how we would help the people to the left (which I would as they put their famlies and children first).

The reason I said no are as follows:

1. They all have mobile phones
2. Most of them smoke
3. They always have a drink in their hand
4. Have Sky

under normal circumstances not an issue but if you can not afford to look after your child then some if not all the above are not needed, and surely any parent would put their child first before luxury items.

Was I unreasonable to turn her down based on the above grounds or should I have helped?

Thanks xx

WorraLiberty there was no talk of a third party in all this with said neighbour.

HRHcatgirl1976 I have always used xx ever since my school days, but I shall try, and I am for real I have posted on MN many many times.

It was usualsuspect the people to the left are the ones we get along with very well.

YABU sorry!
I would have gave her what she needed but made clear that it was the first and last time. I wouldn't have been concerned for whose baby it was for, be it hers or some visitor but she actually knocked on your door and asked, takes balls to do that imo and I don't see why she would ask if she didn't genuinely need.

Doesn't mean there wasn't a 3rd party though does it OP?

I mean perhaps the fact you know here youngest is a toddler meant she didn't want to insult your intelligence by pointing out they weren't for him/her?

I could tell you usual but then I'd have to recruit you

I've only got neighbours to the left I'm disappointed.

I can see your point dondon33 xx

I don't know Yummy Clowns to the left of you, Jokers to the right.....

Maybe it's time for a move .

I've only got neighbours to the left too lala

Mind you, I do wish the guy next door would stop shoving his power tool in my back passage.

It can make life quite awkward at times.

The shops aren't shut today though, so not like it's impossible for them to get hold of.

I'd have asked what size nappies she needed and if I had some, I would have given her a couple, as it's the first time she's asked, but I'd be wary of being seen as a soft touch. Even when I was really skint, I made sure my baby had nappies and formula and I would never have been in a position of having to ask the neighbours. People on very low incomes can get milk tokens for formula, so there is no excuse really, for not having any - it's the first thing you buy when you get your money.

WorraLiberty I can see that perhaps I was a little rash in my decision making. Although there were pleanty of places open in the area.

I meant if you think they are crap parents and you choose not to give them a couple of nappies because you disagree with their lifestyle you are no better.

What if that child really is going hungry and has been left in a dirty nappy all day. I couldn't sleep at night if I hadn't helped them out just this once. Yes it is their responsibility to care for their child, but it wouldn't of killed you to help the child in such a small way.

In all seriousness has nobody ever had pain in the arse neighbours where you give an inch and they take a mile.

Op was a bit ridiculously worded but in the past we've had neighbours who've asked for money and not given it back, asked for lifts, my mum once had a neighbour that kept turning up pissed asking to use the phone. Perhaps the op is a bit wary of them.

Did she want to use the nappies as bunting for the jubilee?

Or is her toddler in fact a cabbage patch doll and therefore small enough for baby nappies?

YABU - whatever their background, class or questionable morals, nappies and formula would only be for a baby so because you are-a-snob don't like them, the lo goes hungry and dirty... Nice!

If i was her, knowing how you feel about her and her family, she must have been pretty desperate to knock and you just confirmed her thoughts - hence her comment!

Glad you're not my neighbour!

Fair enough but just say for example they were for a visiting baby whose parents forgot their bag. Rather than faff about with shops etc...when they perhaps have a large supply at home, it makes sense to knock nextdoor.

Perhaps they thought you were an ok kind of person?

Personally I'd have given her a handful of nappies but say we only buy in what we need usually.

ownworstenemy they were delivered on Saturday morning I didn't say they were delivered today.

karmabeliever thanks for that I thought there was something along those lines eg milk tokens. xx

Oh my mum also had a neighbour that always asked for fags, but my mum liked her so that was ok.

Well let's hope tge day isn't say in shit and starving, but at least you taught her a lesson.

I would help all my neighbors but if they kept asking when clearly they were spending all their money on crap, then I'd probably start saying no. Id still help them out a few times first though.

Come on you lot, play fair- this almost definitely happened.

I like to make it easy for MNHQ, the poor dears do confuse themselves so with their deletion strategy.

Clearly the nappies and formula were for the goat.

OH won't somebody please think of the GOATS!!!