To tell DH that if he can't make the baby bottles correctly, he shouldn't do them at all?

[GnocchiNineDoors]

DD is FFd after a failed attempt at BFing. She is now 5 1/2 mo.

When we first got formula milk, I read the instructions and DH asked me to show him how to make up the bottles. So I showed him. Water to whatever number you need, then add the same number of scoops of powder. Easy.

Then I saw him making some bottles powder first, then filling to the number needed, so 4 scoops, then water to the 4oz level. I explained that he needed to add the water first, then the scoops, to make sure the mix was correct and that yes, even though we want 4oz of milk, after the pwder is added, it will be above that.

He said he did it his way as the powder stuck to the spoon when making the bottles if he did it "my way" so decided to swap it round. I said it had to be this way, it wasn't "my way" that's just how it was. He said he would do it "my way" . I did say to leave the kettle water for 20mins or so, not use water just boiled as obviously there would be less steam so less chance of powder sticking to the spoon.

Months later, I've just seen him making them up "his" way again.

Once again, I have asked him NOT to do it this way. Formula is called that as it is a formula and we needed the right powder to water ratio and again he spouted the shite about powder stuck to spoon. I said if he couldn't be bothered to make them correctly, to not make them any more. He kept saying "I don't make them your way" arg! It isn't MY way.

He really huffed and seemed to think I do it this way as I think it is easier and am just trying to get him to do what I prefer, and that doing it "his way" hadn'r caused DD any harm. I said that if he had bothered to look into these things, then he would realise that there are reasons for correct water / powder ratio and that he was welcome to look into it and see why I was getting rather irate.

Why on earth, after asking me to show him how to do it, and allready saying he wouldn't do them incorrectly last time is he still being an arse about it?

We are now doing that stupid silence thing. I am angry at him for saying he would do it right and then not and also for not understanding that I say these things to make the bottles safe for DD and I have no idea why he is angry at me....maybe he thinks I am neurotic PFB mother?

Sorry for the essay. Needed to rant.

Madwoman. The fuckwits probably have been allowed for yes. In this case though its not an accident its a bloke who refuses to do it properly . . . Unless he really is that thick that he doesn't understand the difference!

Water shouldn't be cold when you're making up, it needs to be hot as the powder isn't sterile. If you need to make in advance it's better to make it up with hot water and cool the made-up formula.

Make up two bottles, one his way and one yours and then place them side by side. Compare the level of made-up milk. They'll have exactly the same level of powder in, but his will be less in volume all together, which means it's stronger.

Like something off nina and the neurons. A lesson suitable for kids!

NHS advice

"Do not add extra powdered infant formula when making up a feed. This can make your baby constipated and may cause dehydration." (He is effectively adding extra powder by adding less water).

IsLoving But that is still incorrect :(

The water shouldn't be warmed up or cold when made. It should be 70 degrees. Or, the kettle left to cool for 30 minutes.

If an 8oz feed is 9oz once the powder is added then why not suggest he does it his way, but make sure its topped up to 9oz.

A tiny bit out will not make any difference with a bottle tis size - just look at making the feeds up in ml rather than oz and you will see a slight difference.

Ah, bronze beat me to it :p

Lol Bertie. Can and may.

I do know the instructions are there for a reason. But making up a bottle like this (or even a third of said child's bottles) is not going to cause lasting damage. All this talk of kidneys and whatnot is faintly hysterical.

A bit like most other baby feeding threads.

Well maybe I didn't follow the instructions exactly, but all 3 of my children were bf for 6months, then fed formula for 6months & are all absolutely fine despite this!

When dd1 was a baby people were making up the milk & then storing it in the fridge to reheat when needed. Now they say you shouldn't do that. When ds1 was a baby people would put the water in the bottle & use the dispenser when out & about. We continued to do this with dd2 as it was easy & seems safe to me.

Either way they have all survived my milk making & I don't need to worry about it anymore as they're all past formula now anyway!

isloving maybe you don't need to worry put people now who are FFing tiny babies with potentially dodgy powder do, and posting out of date guidelines (because they were the guidelines back then, true) isn't helpful. I don't mean to single you out, you're just the most recent poster. Same goes for everyone.

Haha maybr I need to start aother thread "AIBU to be annoyed at Dh who has started a thread about this thread" im sure thats (1)norty and (2) invading what little privacy an annonymous forum grants.

He has? Where? [Not nosey, oh no...] Am I allowed to go and mutter deprecatingly on it about his feeding decisions?

READ THE INSTRUCTIONS ON THE FUCKING BOX.

Like Detective this thread has made me and that people - so, so many of you are making formula up incorrectly.

I want MNHQ to start an actual campaign, I really do.

On Aibu aswell...brave or idiotic I cant decide.

tell him to READ THE INSTRUCTIONS ON THE FECKING BOX himself.

And then decide if he is going to make it as per instructions or however he wants. Does he think he actually knows better than the manufactures, HV etc how to do this?

Cut the instructions out from the box & stick them on the wall by the kettle.

I'd be furious at his arsey callous attitude.

I did read and follow the instructions in that I always filled the bottles with boiling water & left it to cool. However, I didn't realise it was so bad to leave that water until later to use - can't understand why it would be really. I would definitely put the water in before the powder to ensure the correct rati of powder to water.

If you're doing the boiling and leaving, then essentially you are re-sterilising the bottle, but not the formula. IsLoving I presume you added the formula immediately before feeding?

My DH's theory on why babies don't seem to come to harm using this method is that, by mixing and feeding straight away, the bacteria don't have sufficient time to breed and cause trouble (assuming the baby has no health issues).

BTW - I've done no research to back this particular theory up, and it wasn't something we did, but just putting it down as food for thought.

Also, someone commented upthread about how a microwave shouldn't be used to warm as it kills off various vitamins etc. - it doesn't - the issue is the hot-spots microwaving causes and, if someone is ignorant of these, or sleep deprived, and doesn't agitate the bottle sufficiently after heating it could result in mouth / throat burns for the baby.

Yes we'd generally warm the water a little in the microwave & add the milk powder, shake very vigorously & then test just before feeding!

How else can you prepare bottles for the night? Are you supposed to boil & cool the water in the middle of the night???

I love all the weird and wonderful ideas everybody is coming up with to try and get the OP's husband to still do it his way but make the formula concentration safe.

Here's an idea............tell him to FOLLOW THE FUCKING INSTRUCTIONS!!!!!!!

Why is it so difficult? YA soooo NBU Op.
What a tit.
I have one just like yours at home

IsLoving - I went with the WHO guidelines - made up all bottles for the next 24 hours from boiling water in the evening, cooled quickly and shoved in the fridge. Then re-heated to the appropriate temperature and fed. (Although small child was also completely unbothered by straight from the fridge.)

But yes, I think people do do the boil and leave 20 mins in the middle of the night lark too.

I'm with everyone who says "read the effing instructions on the effing box." I really don't understand why you wouldn't do this. It's not as if you're feeding the dog or something (or even taking a risk with your own health), this is a baby you're talking about, why wouldn't you make sure you are doing everything right?

As for all the "I did this and my kids turned out all right" - it's all about risk. There are people who never wore seatbelts as a kid and are still alive. It doesn't mean it's a good idea.

Why not just ask him to put a bit more water in? If a 'properly' made up 8oz bottle comes up to the 9oz mark, why can't he just make a bottle his way but fill it with water up to 9oz...or am I missing something?

But why? Why guess rather than just do it properly in the first place?

Because it's loads easier and makes feck all difference.

I used to make up 6 bottles in one go (naughty, tut tut) but even with careful measuring and careful scooping they'd all be very slightly different. 10ml here and there won't matter in a 9oz bottle.

I'm sorry, but as long as the proportions are correct it really doesn't matter.