To tell DH that if he can't make the baby bottles correctly, he shouldn't do them at all?

[GnocchiNineDoors]

DD is FFd after a failed attempt at BFing. She is now 5 1/2 mo.

When we first got formula milk, I read the instructions and DH asked me to show him how to make up the bottles. So I showed him. Water to whatever number you need, then add the same number of scoops of powder. Easy.

Then I saw him making some bottles powder first, then filling to the number needed, so 4 scoops, then water to the 4oz level. I explained that he needed to add the water first, then the scoops, to make sure the mix was correct and that yes, even though we want 4oz of milk, after the pwder is added, it will be above that.

He said he did it his way as the powder stuck to the spoon when making the bottles if he did it "my way" so decided to swap it round. I said it had to be this way, it wasn't "my way" that's just how it was. He said he would do it "my way" . I did say to leave the kettle water for 20mins or so, not use water just boiled as obviously there would be less steam so less chance of powder sticking to the spoon.

Months later, I've just seen him making them up "his" way again.

Once again, I have asked him NOT to do it this way. Formula is called that as it is a formula and we needed the right powder to water ratio and again he spouted the shite about powder stuck to spoon. I said if he couldn't be bothered to make them correctly, to not make them any more. He kept saying "I don't make them your way" arg! It isn't MY way.

He really huffed and seemed to think I do it this way as I think it is easier and am just trying to get him to do what I prefer, and that doing it "his way" hadn'r caused DD any harm. I said that if he had bothered to look into these things, then he would realise that there are reasons for correct water / powder ratio and that he was welcome to look into it and see why I was getting rather irate.

Why on earth, after asking me to show him how to do it, and allready saying he wouldn't do them incorrectly last time is he still being an arse about it?

We are now doing that stupid silence thing. I am angry at him for saying he would do it right and then not and also for not understanding that I say these things to make the bottles safe for DD and I have no idea why he is angry at me....maybe he thinks I am neurotic PFB mother?

Sorry for the essay. Needed to rant.

YANBU
Could he not just read the instructions though rather than you hoeing him, then he would know it's the correct way rather than you're way?

Aha you have played right into his hands there. He doesn't want to do it right so you'll take over. Alternatively, you are both sleep-deprived and argumentative.

Sorry should be showing not hoeing

YABU - he's been doing this for months, and DD's fine. Where's the problem?

Well, this is the thing, I never actually ask him to do the bottles. I just walk in to do one, after boiling the kettle before my shower or whatever and he stands there doing it. So, if I had to harrass him into it, I would agree with you Jamie.

Fatima I think he just learns better that way. He's a show me what to do man. Even after reading the instructions. In fact, reading instructions and reading a map are his downfalls.

could you/he measure the correct amount out into a different (sterile) container first before tipping into the bottle? would get around the powder sticking to the spoon from the steam thing. or get one of those powder dispensers.

YANBU to be annoyed with him, YABU to let him off not preparing them.

IIRC, you can damage baby's digestive system or cause constipation if not using enough water.

Just tell him to use a piece of kitchen roll to clean the scoop inbetween each scoop.

yabu, she is thriving and healthy isnt she?

Gnocchi I'm the same - a visual learner. Expect me to be able to play a card game based on reading the instructions? Forget it! Show me how to do it, and I'm ready to play!

Tell him to read on the tin the way to make it. The instructions are on there for a reason not as you like.

Also tell him to think that he has got off lucky up until now as the weather has been so shit. If the weather was as warm as it has been this last week or so your poor DD could have been suffering due to less liquid in her feed and being hot.

He should be doing it in the way it is meant to be done. This is the sort of thing my ex would do, deliberately not do something important in the correct way, just because I had told him how to do it. Rather arrogant, and pretty stupid imo.

I know what you mean. DH and I can read the same instructions and conclude to different thugs, usually I am correct. Or in the case of flat pack furniture he'll just do it blind and get it all wrong then I'll have to read the instructions a correct him

God knows how he'll end up making formula!

Republica you sound like my kind of poster - love a good card game.

Yes, DD is thriving, happy and not constipated to no outward signs of 'damage' however I was under the impression that regularly drinking over concentrated formula could actually damage her liver. Hence why HVs or your bloody mother shouldn't be telling you to add an extra scoop of powder to make LO sleep through the night.

Fatima when we moved in, I assembled quite a lot of our IKEA furniture and DH, instead of thanking or being even mildly impressed seemed non-plussed. Well, I challenged him to a race with a bedside cabinet each and lo, he built his first. I won though, as he had a front panel fitted in back to front, showing the chipboard

I hated the powder sticking to the spoon and we always made our bottles with just boiled water, so I bought a mini measuring jug. Powder measured and added to bottle, then water measured in the jug and added to the bottle. Job done. :)

Gnocchi, we have little cups we scoop the formula into to save the sticking to the spoon. Or if you save the spoon from each formula box he can use a fresh one for every scoop!

yANBU. Maybe get your health visitor to explain to him why it is so important since he won't listen to you?

Yes! He was wondering why I kept the little spoons, I just thought they might make a nice little pretend sweet shop in the future for DC. Now I can give him 8 scoops and off he goes.

I am sure your LO is fine but if it helps, the powder stuck to the spoon thing is easily solved by bashing the scoop against the side of the packet (much like the barristas in Starbucks knock out the coffee scoops VERY loudly and wake up DD ) The encrusted powder falls back in the packet and can be scooped up again. This was always a problem for us because really I could NOT be faffed to wait 20 mins from boiling the kettle!

the sticky scoop thing is annoying so I see his point! But no, the water needs to go in first. I would just do it myself. You're already 5.5 months in - hardest bit over. Give him a different task to do!

Well, he has just gone to bed with a "goodnight". No kiss.

Maybe he is hormonal? Might be a bit of PMT.

The powder dissolves completely. The increase in volume (if it exists at all) must be minute.

This sounds more like a control issue than a feeding one.

Sorry, it isn't minute. DD is now on 8oz bottles. 8oz of water plus 8 scoops of powder bring the bottle total to around the 9oz mark, maybe even a little more.

As for control, well, even he would laugh at that suggestion. He has a very free and easy existence. I ask very very little of him, and only ever do when I have a justifiable reason for me doing so.

My dp said exactly the same! Buy a container measure it all out for him then all he has to do is pour it in each feed

YANBU

Your DP sounds like mine. However, my PFB DD is now 11 months and I've kind of relaxed a bit myself and if things aren't done perfectly I don't go totally mental... Just a tiny bit.