To tell DH that if he can't make the baby bottles correctly, he shouldn't do them at all?

[GnocchiNineDoors]

DD is FFd after a failed attempt at BFing. She is now 5 1/2 mo.

When we first got formula milk, I read the instructions and DH asked me to show him how to make up the bottles. So I showed him. Water to whatever number you need, then add the same number of scoops of powder. Easy.

Then I saw him making some bottles powder first, then filling to the number needed, so 4 scoops, then water to the 4oz level. I explained that he needed to add the water first, then the scoops, to make sure the mix was correct and that yes, even though we want 4oz of milk, after the pwder is added, it will be above that.

He said he did it his way as the powder stuck to the spoon when making the bottles if he did it "my way" so decided to swap it round. I said it had to be this way, it wasn't "my way" that's just how it was. He said he would do it "my way" . I did say to leave the kettle water for 20mins or so, not use water just boiled as obviously there would be less steam so less chance of powder sticking to the spoon.

Months later, I've just seen him making them up "his" way again.

Once again, I have asked him NOT to do it this way. Formula is called that as it is a formula and we needed the right powder to water ratio and again he spouted the shite about powder stuck to spoon. I said if he couldn't be bothered to make them correctly, to not make them any more. He kept saying "I don't make them your way" arg! It isn't MY way.

He really huffed and seemed to think I do it this way as I think it is easier and am just trying to get him to do what I prefer, and that doing it "his way" hadn'r caused DD any harm. I said that if he had bothered to look into these things, then he would realise that there are reasons for correct water / powder ratio and that he was welcome to look into it and see why I was getting rather irate.

Why on earth, after asking me to show him how to do it, and allready saying he wouldn't do them incorrectly last time is he still being an arse about it?

We are now doing that stupid silence thing. I am angry at him for saying he would do it right and then not and also for not understanding that I say these things to make the bottles safe for DD and I have no idea why he is angry at me....maybe he thinks I am neurotic PFB mother?

Sorry for the essay. Needed to rant.

Yeah. But it's all controlled for. For the folk who can't measure properly. The concentration will only be a wee bitty stronger and they will have tested to make sure it won't harm her. There'll be millions of folk doing it dh's way, and the maunfacturers know that.

It really isn't a biggie.

For two days, yeah. That'll be the least of her worries thou. The amount of laundry will be the biggest.

I do have a weekend away planned in Ocotber. DD will be a bit more robust by then.

Also, while it's not ideal, current WHO literature states that bottles can be made in advance as long as they are cooled quickly, stored in a fridge and used within 24 hours of being made up. We found it certainly made our lives much easier adhering to that particular guideline.

That's what we did too. Made life much easier!

@october.

Don't worry, by then you will have removed all possible parenting from dh and he'll not have a wee clue.

I am being a little tongue in cheek. I just find it kinda amusing what people get stressed about with babies, and how they contort themselves to make parenting a competition. See how much better I am? I put the water in first!

Why on earth did you 'teach' him anyway? Is he functionally illiterate and can't read the packet?

He sounds like he's possibly a bit dim to not understand that he's doing it the wrong way around. Can you Google and find something that specifically says not to do it like that and why?

I know part of this is PFBness which is odd as DD is generally raised with what I see around me as 'second child' style parenting

However, I genuinely don't see the milk making as a competition. I see it as there being a right way and a wrong way. As much as if I belted DD into her car seat wrong and DH asked me to do it the right way and I refused. At 6 bottles a day, every day, if even a third of them are made too strong, then thats a lot to be playing with.

Also, as I said above, he asked me to show him how to make up a bottle as even after reading instructions he is a 'show me and i'll learn' person. I found it odd, as I like instructions, and he just doesnt 'get' it.

Madwoman. Its not being better, its doing it the way that we are told its safe. Its madness to do it any other way through choice. Doesn't mean that the op is competitive or controlling, she just cares about her babys health!

Poo he might well be just a tad dim. It's like his brain can't get around the fact that the problem he encounters (powder sticking to the spoon) is surmountable.

I had one very frustrating conversation with him when talking about a possible extension. I walked around the kitchen and lounge with him talking about my ideas and he just didn't understand. he couldn't envisage what I was talking about, so I had to find photos of where someone else had done what I was talking about in order for him to get it.

yeah, I know.

But like I said, there will be loads of parents (inc mums) putting the powder in first. It will have been controlled for. It may not be optimum in terms of hydration, but it won't be dangerous.

He isn't feeding her smash. He's just not putting in quite enough water. To an 8oz bottle, what, 1/2 oz of water?

You are right op, there is a right way and a wrong way. And it is the right way for a reason.

There are some people on this thread rather hugely missing the point. Perhaps like your husband they don't understand the concept of "volume"!

Buy cartons of ready made.

It's blee, but perfect for those argumentative moments.

YANBU, but you are a lot more patient than me.

If he was my husband, I think by now I would have had a screaming hissy fit about how he seemed determined to prove that every single formula company in the world EVER knew less than him and that it wasn't potentially dangerous to make bottles the way he is.

It might not be all that bad at all, but does he really want to gamble with his baby's health like that?

Madwoman. Think its about an extra ounce.

Heh. Obv.

This thread makes me want to cry.

So many people make formula up wrongly. It's so simple, so why do so many people (educated people at that!) get it wrong time and time again :(

I just quizzed DP on the matter, as baby is still in utero. For a 21 year old bloke, who doesn't know much about babies yet, he knew a lot more than some folk...

X post poo. No formula here to do a scientific study on, I'm afraid, so won't argue. Fuckwits who can't follow instructions will have been controlled for in the manufacturing process anyway.

Lavender bath. Early night.

I don't understand the "pfft it's only the instructions you don't actually have to follow them" mindset. What is wrong with following given instructions? The manufacturers tell you to make the formula a certain way, that's the way it should be made. No one is being pfb or controlling for wanting to follow instructions to avoid making their child ill.

Ds was ff (11 years ago) and the powder was always added after the water. Always. It was bad enough that my boobs didn't work properly, I wasn't going to put him in any extra danger by being blasé about how formula should be made.

You know what women are like, always wanting to follow instructions and keep their babies healthy, and trying to force men to do the same, the controlling harpies

buy ready made packets of formula for your dh to use. do make sure he doesn't hack them open with the gaden shears though

i had one like yous. dove me bonkers. could not see why it was silly to open the large windows in the living room with 2 toddlers/preschoolers that are able to climb. we live on the second floor. it is a long drrop.

If you can't convince him and its the ratios that are going to be wrong work out what the total comes to and get him to add that much water. So if powder and water comes to nine ounces then get him to top up to nine ounces rather than up to eight ounces

Yanbu. There's definitely a right way to make up formula.

When we were feeding dd formula, we would clean the bottles last thing at night, add boiling water & then leave them until we needed them.

We'd also scoop correct amount of formula in to a the milk dispenser.

When milk, was required we'd simply add powder to the water (warmed up or cold).

Idiot proof method. Dh managed it flawlessly.

Make up two bottles, one his way and one yours and then place them side by side. Compare the level of made-up milk. They'll have exactly the same level of powder in, but his will be less in volume all together, which means it's stronger. If you wanted to be all scientific you could work out what percentage difference there is even - I read somewhere the other day that just one extra scoop in an 8 oz bottle daily over several months CAN seriously harm a child's kidneys.

It's probably less dangerous once you're weaning and she's drinking water, but it IS still dangerous.

I'll see if I can find any articles.

rrrrrrrrrrrr

garden shears
yours
drove