Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell DH that if he can't make the baby bottles correctly, he shouldn't do them at all?

133 replies

GnocchiNineDoors · 30/05/2012 20:45

DD is FFd after a failed attempt at BFing. She is now 5 1/2 mo.

When we first got formula milk, I read the instructions and DH asked me to show him how to make up the bottles. So I showed him. Water to whatever number you need, then add the same number of scoops of powder. Easy.

Then I saw him making some bottles powder first, then filling to the number needed, so 4 scoops, then water to the 4oz level. I explained that he needed to add the water first, then the scoops, to make sure the mix was correct and that yes, even though we want 4oz of milk, after the pwder is added, it will be above that.

He said he did it his way as the powder stuck to the spoon when making the bottles if he did it "my way" so decided to swap it round. I said it had to be this way, it wasn't "my way" that's just how it was. He said he would do it "my way" Hmm . I did say to leave the kettle water for 20mins or so, not use water just boiled as obviously there would be less steam so less chance of powder sticking to the spoon.

Months later, I've just seen him making them up "his" way again. Angry

Once again, I have asked him NOT to do it this way. Formula is called that as it is a formula and we needed the right powder to water ratio and again he spouted the shite about powder stuck to spoon. I said if he couldn't be bothered to make them correctly, to not make them any more. He kept saying "I don't make them your way" arg! It isn't MY way.

He really huffed and seemed to think I do it this way as I think it is easier and am just trying to get him to do what I prefer, and that doing it "his way" hadn'r caused DD any harm. I said that if he had bothered to look into these things, then he would realise that there are reasons for correct water / powder ratio and that he was welcome to look into it and see why I was getting rather irate.

Why on earth, after asking me to show him how to do it, and allready saying he wouldn't do them incorrectly last time is he still being an arse about it?

We are now doing that stupid silence thing. I am angry at him for saying he would do it right and then not and also for not understanding that I say these things to make the bottles safe for DD and I have no idea why he is angry at me....maybe he thinks I am neurotic PFB mother?

Sorry for the essay. Needed to rant.

OP posts:
ProcrastinateWildly · 30/05/2012 21:14

QueenEdith, couldn't it also be viewed as control of the op by her dp? He refuses to make the formula up for his tiny baby in the correct way, even though he has access to information about why he should. So she is left with the choice of doing it herself, or having him do it wrong. Not saying this is the case, but there are two sides.

Original poster
GnocchiNineDoors · 30/05/2012 21:15

I've even stood and done them with him around by putting water into the bottle, the right number of scoops into the lid, then pouring the lot in in one go, but he just wont see. And we have a three-part tub thingy too, which he could use.

Just a lazy fecker.

OP posts:
CardyMow · 30/05/2012 21:22

I don't boil the kettle for each bottle. I boil the kettle, fill ALL the bottles with WATER, and put them in the fridge.

I have a powder dispenser that I measure the scoops into, then when DS3 needs a bottle, I warm the bottle in a jug of hot water, then add the powder.

Solves the hassles of stuff like this, no option but to do it properly if the water is already in there!

Though to me, it DOES sound at best that your DH is being ignorant, at worst that he is being controlling...

CardyMow · 30/05/2012 21:23

Arf at the cross post where OP calls her DH a lazy fecker, and I call myself a Lazy cow. Grin

dribbleface · 30/05/2012 21:23

buy him a multiscoop thingy from mothercare, can scoop 8 at once, hey presto none stuck to the scoop. he's being an arse though, dh is the same!

Original poster
GnocchiNineDoors · 30/05/2012 21:28

An 8scoop multiscoop?? I must get one. Think of the time saved. I was actually thinking about finding something that held the exact amount in one, just to make my life a tad easier.

OP posts:
ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 30/05/2012 21:29

This thread is a revelation.

I was all ready to say YABU as I can't understand what he's doin wrong. I do scoops first, then add water, then top up. Why is this wrong? (EBF till 7 months & just the occasional formula feed now so this is all new to me)

DP makes the bottles with cold water then microwaves them. I've always been a bit Hmm about that, but thought I was just being PFB. Is it really wrong? Why?

StrawberryMojito · 30/05/2012 21:31

But if your making up multiple bottles at a time then you are both doing it wrong. Am not bothered but just saying as you seem to be so concerned about making them up according to the instructions.

dribbleface · 30/05/2012 21:32

the only trouble with the multiscoop is you need to give it a tap and then level off as it can get air pockets. i was very excited to find it, but a bit gutted as well as i had thought of inventing one!

CardyMow · 30/05/2012 21:32

Microwaves a) Can leave 'hotspots' in the milk, which may burn, and b) heat the milk in the wrong way and it, erm, damages some of the compounds in the milk and makes them not as nutritious? (I know there's a more scientific way to explain that one, but it is eluding me tonight!)

ceeveebee · 30/05/2012 21:33

If the water used is below 70 degress it will not kill the bacteria present in the formula powder, bacteria which can cause serious illness.

If the powder is added before the water, then the amount of water added may not be correct as OP says, an 8oz bottlr is close to 9oz once made up). Over the course of a day this could be 4-5oz of water. This can cause liver problems and constipation.

I am no expert btw, just a lurker on the 'breast and bottlefeeding' boards!

Floggingmolly · 30/05/2012 21:36

Cardymow. That's exactly how I used to do it; but hasn't there recently been some alarm raised about the actual powder not being properly sterilised, and therefore needing to be made with boiling water to make it safe?
Mine are passed the bottle stage, so I don't know the full details.

AWomanCalledHorse · 30/05/2012 21:36

Atruth, I put DS's feeds in the microwave for 20 seconds. I tried it first with a glass of water, it barely heats.
I guess this whole hot spot thing is the Formula people covering their butts for when someone puts it in for 3 mins & then Sad Faces in the Daily Mail that their child's mouth got burnt!

Original poster
GnocchiNineDoors · 30/05/2012 21:37

Just had a look at that multiscoop, and the reviews are bad...they say it only holds 6 scoops when you need 8...hmm.

AThruth , in order to make sure there is the right ratio of water to powder, the water needs to be put in first. Powder first, then water to the line means there will be too much powder to water. Also, your DH is making thim incorrectly as the powder is not sterile, which is why hot water needs to be used. Boil the kettle then use the water within 30 mins to ensure it is hot enough.

OP posts:
McPhee · 30/05/2012 21:38

ceeveebee is correct

dribbleface · 30/05/2012 21:39

the scoop will do if you don't tap it. i checked it by measuring using little scoop and the multiscoop.

Original poster
GnocchiNineDoors · 30/05/2012 21:42

Ah, good good. I shall pop to Mothercare for one tomorrow.

OP posts:
FurCough · 30/05/2012 21:44

what is it with these men?

my DP sterilises bottles four at a time, adds the requisite amount of boiled water, stores them on the side in the kitchen and when he needs one he microwaves it up to 70 degrees before adding powder and cools it down again. Confused

I don't quite know why he's wrong but I'm pretty sure he is. He knows that I want him to do it the 'proper' way.

Gawd, I wish my norks had worked to avoid all this hoo-har.

YANBU. btw.

Frakiosaurus · 30/05/2012 21:45

OP buy powder dispensers. Measure out and tap in - sorted! :)

Yes, water must be 70C when mixed with powder or the nasties aren't killed which can lead to serious illness or, in the worst cases, death :(

Microwaving bottles which have been premade and kept in the fridge is not ideal due to hot spots but much safer than microwaving cold water with powder just added.

CarpeJugulum · 30/05/2012 21:45

We bought the Tommee Tippee mini formula pots. Made a few up at a go, then added them to the requisite amount of water.

Was also good for me when sleep deprived as it was tip and pour not 1, 2, 3, 4, wait, was that 3 or 4, sigh, start again... Grin

ENormaSnob · 30/05/2012 21:52

Yadnbu

What he is doing is really dangerous.

Imsosorryalan · 30/05/2012 22:00

We always add the formula first but our hv told us to add boiling water to make the bottles ( to get rid of any bacteria in the formula) we then give it a shake and add a top up of water if needed. Dd2 has always been fine with this

FurCough · 30/05/2012 22:07

Imsosorry my HV told me that water at boiling point scorches the powder hence the 20 min cooling down thing. Double Confused

cardamomginger · 30/05/2012 22:08

DD is on 8oz bottles. Powder and water makes just over 9oz. YANBU at all for wanting him to do this correctly.

MarySA · 30/05/2012 22:08

YANBU. He should make them up according to the instructions on the tin. But he probably isn't backing down. My DH does this sometimes. Not backing down that is even if he's in the wrong. Usually over something completely trivial. Is is really annoying.