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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to start a thread about the pubes/ no pubes thread

228 replies

AnneofGreenFables · 29/05/2012 13:18

It just got me thinking...

Does anyone know, or has anyone heard any man express a big preference either way?

I hear a lot about 'men' especially those under 30 'expecting' women to be pubic hair free but sadly not knowing many men under 30 I have no idea if this is true.

In my youth, lads used to joke about preferring a 'shaven haven' but IMO they were so thankful to be allowed near a woman's nether regions, that in reality they were none too fussy. Other than that I've never heard anyone express a definite preference

Just curious (and apologise about the whole thread from a thread thing)

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 30/05/2012 08:07

It's a bit of a leap to go from "None of the men I slept with in the 90s expressed a preference but one I slept with in 2001 did" to "It was not a social norm in the 90s but it was in the 00s".

Unless you slept with a lot of men. Like, enough to be a representative sample :)

catgirl1976 · 30/05/2012 08:09

PS - I am not basing my opinion that is was a social norm on people I slept with, but on popular culture and the prevelance of waxing treatments avaliable at the time- appreciate that may have sounded rather contradictory reading back

Pishspice · 30/05/2012 08:13

So catgirlyou do wax because the men you know prefer it? I couldn't give a flying fig how other people want my body, it's mine and I do what suits me. I just can't get my head round it all, TBH.

I've got a decade on you though.

catgirl1976 · 30/05/2012 08:20

I don't wax Pish

I ususally shave it and leave a strip. But then sometimes if I can't be arsed I let it grow for a while and then sort it out when I either feel it is out of control or have an event coming up like a night out or swimming etc. Bit like my legs which can go furry in the winter when opaque tights and a general cba feeling descend. DHs preference doesn't really enter into it.

I prefer my legs when they are smooth and my fanjo too. Feels better, improved oral sex, improved sex etc. Like I feel better about my hair when it is washed and styled. DH probably does like my hair better when it is clean and shiney, but I dont wash and style it for him. Nor do I shave my fanjo for him.

I shave it for me. When I can be bothered or when I want to. I don't when I can't.

IAmNotACowbag · 30/05/2012 09:14

My DH does not like the bald fanny. We have had many a discussion and it just freaks him out.

I did bald it once years ago, and I looked like a plucked chicken - I thought neatly trimmed hair was more attractive.

I agree that a grown woman doesn't look like a child when she's bald down below, but my DH still finds it creepy and does make this association as he feels adult women should have hair not my usually monumental 70s bush though.

Just his feelings on the matter.

I think less hair gives more sensation during sex as there's less of a barrier for all the 'rubbage' that occurs.

TheGrandOldDuke · 30/05/2012 09:27

Distressed that tattoos are now considered the norm.

catgirl1976 · 30/05/2012 09:30

But you don;t have to get one grand so it's not too bad

TheGrandOldDuke · 30/05/2012 09:33

Well obviously cat girl, but I was more pondering the accuracy of the statement, and that if you are correct - I think not - that it's a shame!

catgirl1976 · 30/05/2012 09:35

I think they are "normal" - as they are common place and unremarkable

TheGrandOldDuke · 30/05/2012 09:36

After some googling, I have satisified myself that they're not something that would be technically called a 'norm'.

Back to the pubes!!!

catgirl1976 · 30/05/2012 09:38

In 2006, 24% of americans between the ages of 18 and 50 had one. That was 6 years ago and they have increased since then. I would call 1 in 4 a social norm

TheGrandOldDuke · 30/05/2012 09:39

That's not the definition of 'a norm'.
The definition is 'a pattern regarded as typical'. And I don't think we're quite their yet. Especially when you consider that typical means 'an identifying trait or characteristic.' we may well be approaching that as a nation, but I don't think we'r there yet as a whole.
Maybe if you consider it in terms of social stratification, but not a whole.

TheGrandOldDuke · 30/05/2012 09:39

Nope, 1 in 4 would not be mathematically.

TheGrandOldDuke · 30/05/2012 09:40

And I'm not talking about America.

MerryMarigold · 30/05/2012 09:40

I once had a tiny strip of pubes waxed before a c-section and it was almost as painful as childbirth. I cannot for the life of me imagine what a full wax woiuld feel like. Luckily I am nearly 40 and have a dh who has never expressed a preference.

notyummy · 30/05/2012 09:42

at the good clean sex.

As long as you don't actually smell too bad, most men want ALL SORTS of sex. With enthusiastic participants who don't worry about hair. There are probably outliers in that group (i.e the ones who are horrified by more than a landing strip, and those who like to see the hairs march down to your knees) but on the whole I am firmly of the belief that men are entirely open to the idea of rummaging around in a whole range of hair dos.

Therefore, if you want to shave because of personal preference, fire away. I do feel sad that younger women seem to think they 'should' though, because of some misguided notion that is 'nicer'. I am not entirely free from influence obviously, as I do have a tidy up before I put on a bikini....but not a single man in a fairly extensive range Blush when I was single has EVER expressed a preference.

TheGrandOldDuke · 30/05/2012 09:42

Oooo I was contemplating being waxed (for the first time) before my impending c-sec, you've changed my mind merry marigold!

catgirl1976 · 30/05/2012 09:42

I promise you, from a sociological stand point, tatoos are a good example of a social norm going from very specific to more mainstream

Social norms are not about mathematics

TheGrandOldDuke · 30/05/2012 09:43

Are you an anthropologist?

notyummy · 30/05/2012 09:44

Going purely on unscientific observation whilst travelling, tattoos are a LOT more common in the US. More common here than they used to be - and still looked on in horror apart from a few select groups - by a lot of mainland Europe. Not the norm. But definitely age related.

catgirl1976 · 30/05/2012 09:45

No - you don't really need to be to understand what "social norm" means. Hmm

In its simplest form it refers to behaviours that are accepted by society. Tattoos are now widely accepted and have therefore become a social norm.

catgirl1976 · 30/05/2012 09:48

The PMs wife has a tattoo for example (and you may not have known that for the very reason tattoos are so much a social norm that it is not newsworthy that she does)

TheGrandOldDuke · 30/05/2012 09:48

I think you might find it helps! And certainly, an anthropologist would disagree with you! It's what anthropology is. The prevalence of things like tattoos in culture are exactly the sort of things they look at.

catgirl1976 · 30/05/2012 09:48

An anthropologist would disagree with me on what?

TheGrandOldDuke · 30/05/2012 09:49

A norm is all about mathematics....bell curve? Standard deviation??