To not have sex with my partner

[WhiteWidow]

Because yet again I have the most horrific shaving rash! He says he doesn't mind but I do... Now I feel silly

While we're here does anyone else suffer from the BURN and HORRID ingrown hairs? How do you prevent them.. I'm sick to death.

I wish I could just go all european and not do hair removal but it makes me itchy thinking about it.

The only time I had a shaving rash was when I shaved it all off. So I didn't - ever again. Just shaving the sides & top isn't problematic.

I think what I want to pass on to younger women though is not to go overboard with effort on grooming, makeup - to the point it makes you uncomfortable or "not you".

I am surprised one of the celeb hairdressers hasn't brought our a range of products for styling lady gardens.

A few points spring to mind, having read through the new posts here.

Firstly, regarding the suggestion that men want women to shave so that they look like little girls (Mathanxiety, I think - apologies if I am wrong) - my point/question is this - does an adult woman's fanjo actually look like a prepubescent one when shaved? Surely there are other differences/developments that differentiate an adult fanjo from a prepubescent one, other than pubic hair??

Secondly, whilst it is my choice to shave, I am horrified at the thought that women are feeling that their choices are limited by societal pressure. I would defend to the utmost anyone's choice to have a full bush, shaven fanjo or anything in between, and any bloke who tried to tell me that a woman 'should' have x, y or z style of pubic topiary, would get short shrift.

Thirdly, I find shaving to be pretty easy and problem-free. I've never had ingrowing hairs or any other major problems that I would attribute to shaving, and I manage to shave without being able to see what I am doing (I am overweight, so have to shave by touch, round the curve of my belly, and am well used to this. But if I was getting horrendous stubble rash and ingrowing hairs like the OP is describing, then I would not carry on shaving, even if dh still wanted me to.

Finally, regarding male grooming - dh does trim and/or shave round his groin sometimes. He likes the way it looks (I haven't asked him whether it changes the way sex feels, but I will). Personally, I don't mind either way - I wouldn't expect him to do it if he didn't want to, and don't object when he lets it go au naturel, and equally when he does trim or shave, I am fine with that too. But it is his choice, not mine - and the same should apply to women.

tbf, if i got a rash every time i did it, or if i found it a real hassle, i probably wouldnt bother.

im surprised so many people seem to think of it as labour intensive. Do you have enormous foofoos or something?

Dinah, it's not about the size, it's about having sensitive skin.

Well by labour intensive I mean that if you prefer a completely bald smooth finish then you must be needing to do it every few days and I can't be the quickest easiest job in the world if you are going to get to all the nooks and crannies, whichever method you use.

it can't be, sorry

I don't find it labour intensive. It's about as labour intensive as brushing my teeth. It's no big deal really.

I find it labour intensive, I like to sit "down" and do it properly though after months of leaving it wild and free epillating always takes me ages.

Can you Brazilian-ed ladies out there give me some details about HOW its done professionally, I've been trying to imagine - there is hair on and close to the outer labia -how do they get that off - does it involve you lying there legs spread? Do you have to help hold the skin taut so the waxidermist (my own term ) doesn't have to touch your bits??

Tell me, I'd like to be informed before I book!

If my dh had an expectation for one I would not have it done. He is reassuringly bewildered by what they are and why the hell I'd want the pain when he is just grateful for getting any (4 dc's under aged 5).

I want it done because when I am trim I like the feeling of it just going about my normal business, and hell, theres nothing wrong with a bit of self-perv!

I think it is called third wave feminism, it doesn't matter if the fashion originated from porn, it has evolved to something else.

So tell me tell me please!

Isn't an epilator that thing that rips them out on by one? Good God, you must be MAD. It's making me wince just thinking about it. At least waxing is over quickly!

waxidermist (LOL) will wear gloves, and occasionally you will be asked to help hold the skin taught, you will have to spread your legs, I had a hollywood done (all the hairs!) because I am not bushy enough on the pubis to have a landing strip (which made me a little sad), make sure you exfoliate beforehand, and get some wipes that are suitable (I used ones with chamomile and witch hazel) for when you go to the loo afterwards, They will not do it 2 days before your period, and you cant has sexytiems for 2 days afterwards.

I don't do it anymore cos of the pain, but walking around was a satisfying self perv once it was done!

An epilator? OMFG OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

arf at waxidermist. That is excellent.

It's ok, tis not the full bush just the bikini line, and i have numbing stuff!

To be honest I don't know a waxidermist (love it) who whips the whole lot off. The one I go to gets rid of most (but not all) from the front and that's it. so I come home and whip the rest off myself. Underneath and all.

The way it is being described it sounds a little like the joy of cutting...

'Secondly, whilst it is my choice to shave, I am horrified at the thought that women are feeling that their choices are limited by societal pressure. I would defend to the utmost anyone's choice to have a full bush, shaven fanjo or anything in between, and any bloke who tried to tell me that a woman 'should' have x, y or z style of pubic topiary, would get short shrift.'

SDTG I agree; I have 4 DDs of whom three are teens or older, and the pressure is relentless. Especially insidious is the hygiene angle. And it has ever been so. Scroll down to 'How can he explain to his sensitive young wife?' and you can enlarge the image in order to read the blurb.

I don't understand how a lack of lady hair makes you more hygienic (except during your period if you wear pads).

Can someone please press stop on the merry-go-round. I'm getting dizzy.

Hurrah math is back. Not in the fifties though are we? Lots changed since then.

Hang on a minute, I thought the whole point if a Brazilian is that all the underneath hair is whipped off - is that not so BelieveInPink?

There's all kinds of waxing styles but my local salon barely gets rid of anything, just the sides and top. I'm just saying I don't know anyone locally that will do more. When I asked them to remove more they said no.

Perhaps she thought I was a closet peado.

Did you mean to sound so rude, WhosPickleisThatOnion?

You might not agree with someone, but you don't need to be sarcastic.

Things have not changed one iota since then, Pickle.

The women who are in the know know how to please their men and nowadays that means making sure a man doesn't end up with hair in his mouth. The idiot who can't figure out what everyone else knows is going to be left alone on a Saturday night. Same exact message to young women - there is something dirty about female genitalia. What it comes from is fear of the vagina (vagina dentata) and fear of full-on grown up female sexuality.