This is very long, sorry. It is about the hospitals treatment of me during my pregnancy and miscarriage.
I really need some outside perspective- so many things have happened that seem rubbish to me, and I don't know if this is because they are rubbish, or if I have massively high expectations and need to revise them downwards.
At my booking in appointment the MW was strange- lots of odd things including crossing out the bit in my notes where it said there was a family history of mental illness on the grounds that 'depression isn't a mental illness'. I just ignored it and hoped next appointment would be better.
Second appointment at 16 weeks cancelled on the day it was supposed to happen as they had not realised the building would be shut for the Christmas holidays. I was offered a replacement appointment but it was after my 20 week scan.
I kept ringing to try and rearrange- more than 50 times in total, never answered. Left numerous messages, never returned. Eventually I left a message saying if they didn't ring me back within 48 hours I'd sent a written complaint.
Someone phoned me. I was told that the MW from my booking in appointment should have given me other numbers as the number she had given me was a line that was never staffed. Was told they had just taken on a lot of new people who 'weren't up to speed yet' and someone had been drafted in to sort things out.
They also said that if I had left messages they would have been answered. They maintained every message was logged in a book and I had never left any previous messages.
This put me in the rather ridiculous situation of having to offer to send it an itemised mobile bill to prove who was telling the truth- at which point they suddenly 'found' thee lost messages which were in the book after all. The lying aspect of made me very uncomfortable.
At my 20 week scan it was found that I had had a missed miscarriage and the baby had died between 14 and 16 weeks. I was induced but advised not to see the baby as it had deteriorated since it had passed away some 4-6 weeks prior to this.
If I had had my 16 week appointment it obviously would not have saved the baby, but I would have known weeks earlier and would have at least had the opportunity to say goodbye properly.
The PM suspected a clotting issue but could not confirm as the hospital lost the placenta despite the doctor insisting at the time of delivery that it was very important it was sent off (which including ordering a nurse to retrieve some of it out of the toilet so that it was complete). They still lost it.
The appointment to receive the PM results told us to go to an address that did not exist (the building, department and zone of the hospital all conflicted)- We were variously sent back to the place where we had had the scan telling us the baby had died, back to the place where we had had the initial meeting after the scan to explain the baby was dead, back to the place where we had had the booking in for the induction and finally to a fourth place where they sat us in a waiting area with a 3 minute video on a loop of a new born baby. By the time someone actually found out where we were supposed to go we were in a complete state.
We were told we would need blood tests to pinpoint the blood clotting issue, and the consultant said he would like to see us in 3 months to discuss the results- this would be in May.
Two weeks before the appointment I received a letter saying he would see us on the 31st August now instead of May.
I rang the consultant's secretary who said she would try and get me anther date and ring me the next day. She did not. I rang her the day after and she said I should be waiting for a letter. It was as if we had never spoken and she had never promised to phone me.
I got the letter yesterday morning and it was just the final straw- it became apparent why she didn't ring me. It is an earlier appointment, but not with the consultant but a much more junior doctor and in biro scrawled underneath they have written 'we have now cancelled your appointment with the consultant in August'. So we don't even get to see him.
If you have read all this, thanks for sticking with me.
I am tempted to complain but don't think it would do any good- by the time someone rang me about the 16 week appointment I had already sent the threatened letter of complaint and I was told this would be taken seriously and investigated and after the MC I would be emailed with the results so that I could choose when to read when I was feeling OK. I never heard from them again.
What should I do?