I hate DPs present - what do I do?

[TrickyLittleVicky]

DP bought me an awful bracelet at christmas. It's a charm bracelet he bought off ebay for about £4. The price doesn't bother me obviously but it LOOKS cheap and tacky. The material is like a coloured metal. It's not shiny or anything.

bracelet

Same thing as in the link.

It looks like its been dug out of the mud by a child.

I know I sound an ungrateful cow but I'm just saying here what I can't say to him. It's bloody horrible. The charms are really childish and tacky too like high heel shoes and teddy bears. I'm a converse and guitar type of girl!! Even if you didn't know me, you'd recognise immediately that I wasn't into girly shoes and teddy bears so surely he should know that??

Anyway, I can hide it away and never look at it easy enough but whenever we go out, he insists I wear it. It's embarrassing. I feel really self conscious wearing it but how on earth can I tell him that when he thinks I love it? He thinks he did a really good thing buying me it. I recently bought myself this whilst again, not expensive, just looks "pretty" on an evening. However, we're due to go out this weekend and it's a big deal and he's insisting I wear the metal monstrosity he bought me rather than the one I bought myself.

What do I do here without upsetting him? or should I just bloody wear the thing?

Just tell him you don't like it. If you don't want to hurt his feelings, I'm sure you can do it tactfully enough ("I've tried to like it because I know you wanted me to have it but it's just not me/You're usually so good at picking stuff but no one can get it right 100% of the time" or similar). If he's a decent guy he'd want you to have something you actually like and will appreciate you're not deliberately trying to hurt his feelings or be a bitch. If he's too concerned about sulking and huffing, that says more about him than it does about you...

I still don't get it.
I don't understand anyone who lets their DH insist they wear something.
And my DH has bought me jewellery in the past that I haven't liked.
And he's never yet commented that I haven't worn it...

You could tell him you have a confession to make; and then say your whole relationship you have been faking your orgasms. Then when he gets bothered, say actually no I haven't, but ? I pretended to like your bracelet so I didnt hurt your feelings! If you pretend to lose it he might buy you another!

You could always try cleaning it in Goddards Silver Dip - it will dissolve things if you make a mistake.

I have the opposite problem. Dd wears a bracelet that belonged to my aunt. I tried cleaning it, and used silver dip - the copper is now showing through. Gaah

So you either:

1. Keep quiet and keep wearing it and feel like an idiot
2. Keep quiet, don't wear it, and he'll eventually get the message
3. Keep quiet and get rid of it somehow to avoid hurting his feelings, but risk it being replaced with exactly the same thing
4. Tell him you don't like it and it's very childish, and 'fess up to having lied to avoid hurting his feelings
5. Tell him you loathe it and he is never to buy jewellery for you again.

... I quite like number 5 TBH!!! Especially if he he thinks £35 is an expensive watch.

But - if you are a complete wimp and can't face telling him the truth, but want to avoid it being replaced you have to have a good reason for not wearing it.

I can't wear cheap metal because I break out in a rash - you could always find something that aggravates your skin and wear it around you wrist, rub it in the general area, and claim that the bracelet did it so you can't wear it, and he needs to avoid buying you cheap metal jewellery because of this risk.

Just tell him it's a pile of shite and you want a better one

Has anyone found the previous thread. Just had a look but couldn't find it...

I think there is more to this than meets the eye. OP, do you think your partner is playing games with you? Does he make you doubt yourself? I think you should post in Relationships and tell a bit more about your partner.

I remember when he first bought you this. I'm amazed the bracelet is still around. I would've snapped it long ago (ie on Christmas Day.)

What was it that first attracted you to this controlling cheapskate? Do you have children together?

Say that fashions move on and it's now time to wear something else.

By the way I followed the eBay link and now this bracelet and similar items keep appearing as "suggestions for you" :o

Why don't you just tell him you don't like it? It's cheap and horrible looking and that's to be expected when you spend £4 on a bracelet. If he can't cope with that then leave him. He is a miser with no taste, no loss there.

It's only 1.49, including postage. Bargain

Looks pretty easy to break, to me.

"accidentally' spill some coke on it, leave to soak (dissolve) overnight?

Tell him you have discovered its stolen goods and the police have confiscated it...

Tell him you don't like it.

Or, if you really have to lie, tell him it brings you out in a rash and turns your skin a bit green. That way he can't replace it like for like.

Why is he insisting you wear it??!! DH has bought me jewellery which I LOVE butI still don't wear it every time we go out - it's for me to decide what goes with my outfit. Only my engagement and wedding rings are worn all the time.

Regardless of what you ultimately do with the bracelet I think you need to start letting him know that you get to choose what you wear and when!

I think its worrying that your dh thinks it's okay to tell you what to wear and that certain charms 'must' stay. That would piss me off and I would have to say something.

Ordinarily I would just pretend to like it and then 'lose' it, but if my dh was being a bit of a dick, then a conversation would have to be had. You are doing yourself no favours by letting this go on.

How is he insisting you wear it? I just can't imagine how the conversation would go.

Do you have a guinea pig?

Agree with others - it has to be a rash. Put it on an hour or so before you are due to go out and start scratching. Schoolgirl tip from me - hairbrush bristles pushed onto skin for a couple of minutes make a very effective rash effect. That used to get me lots of days off school when it was PE! Long story but first to hit puberty in my class and communal showers

Then tell him you've been to the GP who has told you to avoid cheap jewellery. And then you should tell him not to buy you jewellery in future as it's just not worth the risk that you won't be able to wear it. You could then suggest that you flog it on Ebay and buy something you like something you're not allergic to instead.

Thank God I get a weeping rash from cheap metal! I would tell him the truth, because if you "lose" it, he will probably replace it.
Or try the fake rash idea above if you think you can pull it off.

And while you're at it, please tell him to stop telling you what you can wear.

Just tell him you don't like the bloody thing. You're a grown woman, FFS.

He spent four quid on it. Four quid! And I am the 125th post on this thrad.

Tell him if he likes it so much wear it himself, then ditch the cheap bastard and find someone with taste and the decency to buy you a proper present.

Disclaimer - have been drinking tonight.

If my DP bought me something which I didn't like, he would prefer to know so that it can be exchanged for something I do like. Surely your partner would prefer this? Otherwise it is just a waste.

As you say, you are 31. I am 24 and I wouldn't dream of lying to the point of "breaking" or "losing" it purposely. That is childish. Tell him the truth!

However, I would also tell him where to jog off if he ever demanded that I wear anything.