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Original poster

I hate DPs present - what do I do?

144 replies

TrickyLittleVicky · 18/05/2012 15:54

DP bought me an awful bracelet at christmas. It's a charm bracelet he bought off ebay for about £4. The price doesn't bother me obviously but it LOOKS cheap and tacky. The material is like a coloured metal. It's not shiny or anything.

bracelet

Same thing as in the link.

It looks like its been dug out of the mud by a child.

I know I sound an ungrateful cow but I'm just saying here what I can't say to him. It's bloody horrible. The charms are really childish and tacky too like high heel shoes and teddy bears. I'm a converse and guitar type of girl!! Even if you didn't know me, you'd recognise immediately that I wasn't into girly shoes and teddy bears so surely he should know that??

Anyway, I can hide it away and never look at it easy enough but whenever we go out, he insists I wear it. It's embarrassing. I feel really self conscious wearing it but how on earth can I tell him that when he thinks I love it? He thinks he did a really good thing buying me it. I recently bought myself this whilst again, not expensive, just looks "pretty" on an evening. However, we're due to go out this weekend and it's a big deal and he's insisting I wear the metal monstrosity he bought me rather than the one I bought myself.

What do I do here without upsetting him? or should I just bloody wear the thing?

OP posts:
Original poster
TrickyLittleVicky · 18/05/2012 16:05

Well he obviously bought a mass load of charms in bulk because there are more charms than can actually fit on the bloody thing. He recently bought a guinea pig charm (Im 31 Hmm ) and a heart saying "made with love". Apparantly I can have whatever charms I want on it but the "made with love" thing HAS to stay. As does the guinea pig.

Who the fuckery would actually buy something like this for a 31 year old woman?

OP posts:
Dropdeadfred · 18/05/2012 16:06

Of FFs just tell him you don't like it - it sounds worse every minute!!

manicbmc · 18/05/2012 16:07

More to the point, what sort of husband would insist on their wife wearing such a piece of crap?

Seriously, your issue should be with his controlling nature not the bracelet.

Lose it and wear what you like. You are 31 not 3.

valiumredhead · 18/05/2012 16:08

Haven't we already had a thread on this or was that someone else? Confused

If he is insisting you wear it he is being controlling - just say no. It is not normal to have to run by what you are planning to wear with your dh and get so worried about it you need to do a thread about it.

Even if the bracelet was £500 it is perfectly ok to tell him that you love that he bought something for you but it's not quite what you like and can you have the receipt so that it can go back and be swapped for something you do like.

This is about SO much more than a 4 quid bracelet if you are the poster who did the other thread too.

wellilikemythinking · 18/05/2012 16:08

Does he normally insist you wear a particular item that he has bought? Only I think he knows you don't like it and either is trying to get you to admit it for whatever reason or thinks it's funny!

HipHopOpotomus · 18/05/2012 16:08

"YOU ARE NOT MY RULER"

try saying that out loud in front of the mirror a few times OP, then next time P 'insists' you wear something say it to him. Wear what you like.

valiumredhead · 18/05/2012 16:09

'It HAS to stay' - who the fuck talks like that to someone they love?

DuelingFanjo · 18/05/2012 16:09

I'd wear it sometimes, it's not too bad. What did you want - diamonds?

He can't force you to wear it all the time - that would make him a complete twat.

ThatVikRinA22 · 18/05/2012 16:10

is it a cheap version of a pandora or troll beads OP?

real pandora bracelets when full are worth quite a bit - i take it its not one of those?

i would either tell him its not "you" or to keep the peace, lose it. But if you lose it be prepared for a replacement next xmas!

it would surely be easier to tell the truth?

Original poster
TrickyLittleVicky · 18/05/2012 16:10

I've just got it out of the little flowery bag it came in - and put it on. It was BLATANTLY designed with 5 year old girls in mind. I can just imagine my friends if their husbands/boyfriends bought them this. Oh how we'd laugh!

But joking aside, I don't want to be a bitch about it. How can I lose it when he knows I never wear it?

OP posts:
ASByatt · 18/05/2012 16:12

Losing it won't help, he'll replace it with something similar.

Why can't you be honest about it with him?

Seems to be much more going on here.

ThatVikRinA22 · 18/05/2012 16:12

start wearing it a bit - to show willing and then bin it.

but what will you do if he replaces it?
i would tell him the truth - how long have you been together OP?

valiumredhead · 18/05/2012 16:13

OP why can't you tell him you don't like it?

Original poster
TrickyLittleVicky · 18/05/2012 16:14

It's certainly not a pandora! Don't get me wrong, it isn't the money. The one I bought myself was only £15 but it's tacky! like something that would drop out of an arcade machine at the seaside. And although I'm no snob, it does make me feel embarrassed when out with it on. I can just imagine people saying "Look at that woman wearing a kids charm bracelet"

OP posts:
Original poster
TrickyLittleVicky · 18/05/2012 16:14

He'd get all offended and upset if I said I didn't like it.

OP posts:
TiddlesTheNaughtyTortoise · 18/05/2012 16:16

Buy him an ascot and a deerstalker and insist he wears them cos you bought them for him. See how he likes them apples!

Gravity1 · 18/05/2012 16:16

Whats the big deal? Just tell him you don't like it, that its just not quite you. A bit of lovely dovey ego stroking after and all should be fine. If not, then there are other issues.

manicbmc · 18/05/2012 16:16

If you don't like it and fear he'll replace it with something as tacky/worse then you have to tell him that you appreciate the effort but you don't like it at all and don't want to wear it.

Or apply some green, smudged felt pen to your wrist, tell him it's turning your skin green and chuck it in the bin?

valiumredhead · 18/05/2012 16:17

Can you not see how getting offended (or sulky) is controlling in a passive way? He is using his mood to get you to do something you don't want to do.

manicbmc · 18/05/2012 16:17

And what Tiddles said Grin

cakeismysaviour · 18/05/2012 16:21

Wear it to go out. Flush the fecking thing down the loo, and then pretend you have lost it.

They buy him a tacky necklace and insist he wears it at all times.

Original poster
TrickyLittleVicky · 18/05/2012 16:21

He wears this old watch that's also very cheap and tacky looking. I once knocked it accidently off the bedside table and he squealed "careful!! that watch was almost £35!" Grin

I guess we're just not compatible when it comes to material things. I just resent being forced to wear something I hate - but it probably is my fault as I originally told him I liked it Sad

OP posts:
Flisspaps · 18/05/2012 16:21

If it looks just like the one in the link, I'd wear it occasionally but you're describing one with shoes, hearts and guinea pigs which isn't what I'm seeing.

If he asks why you're not wearing it, just say its really not your kind of thing. Be honest, otherwise he'll be buying you cheap tacky charms to add to it forever.

HecateTrivia · 18/05/2012 16:22

I do believe that it is the thought that counts and no matter what the gift, if it was given with love and thought, then it should be treasured, but I'm getting the feeling that there's something else going on here and you feel there was no thought at all?

Wear it on the night out.

get home and say "oh NO! where's my bracelet? Oh no. It must have broken off..."

Or just tell him.

He's your partner. You live together, sleep together, (are / will be raising a family together?) It's a real problem that you feel you can't be honest with him. You should be able to be honest with the person you're sharing your life with.

Floggingmolly · 18/05/2012 16:24

It's sounds really odd that he has so much invested in this £4 piece of crap - why would he "insist" you wear it?
Is he this controlling about what particular clothes you wear too, or is all the emphasis on the bracelet, for whatever reason? Just lose it, fgs Hmm

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