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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I hate DPs present - what do I do?

144 replies

TrickyLittleVicky · 18/05/2012 15:54

DP bought me an awful bracelet at christmas. It's a charm bracelet he bought off ebay for about £4. The price doesn't bother me obviously but it LOOKS cheap and tacky. The material is like a coloured metal. It's not shiny or anything.

bracelet

Same thing as in the link.

It looks like its been dug out of the mud by a child.

I know I sound an ungrateful cow but I'm just saying here what I can't say to him. It's bloody horrible. The charms are really childish and tacky too like high heel shoes and teddy bears. I'm a converse and guitar type of girl!! Even if you didn't know me, you'd recognise immediately that I wasn't into girly shoes and teddy bears so surely he should know that??

Anyway, I can hide it away and never look at it easy enough but whenever we go out, he insists I wear it. It's embarrassing. I feel really self conscious wearing it but how on earth can I tell him that when he thinks I love it? He thinks he did a really good thing buying me it. I recently bought myself this whilst again, not expensive, just looks "pretty" on an evening. However, we're due to go out this weekend and it's a big deal and he's insisting I wear the metal monstrosity he bought me rather than the one I bought myself.

What do I do here without upsetting him? or should I just bloody wear the thing?

OP posts:
alarkaspree · 18/05/2012 16:45

If you want an excuse not to wear it, you could tell him it's giving you a rash now that the weather is getting warmer (if the weather where you are is, indeed, getting warmer). This is a genuine problem for me with metal jewellery in the summer.

However my real advice is to tell him to stop ordering you about.

FWIW I think the bracelet you linked to is fine, and you could just tell him you'd prefer some more grown up charms for it. But I realise my opinion is neither here nor there.

SpringHeeledJack · 18/05/2012 16:46

my dp got me some little somethings last birthday

they included some highlighter pens. And some deodorant Hmm Grin

worse was a friends' boyf. They were both quite well off, so all her presents to him were quite tasteful and carefully chosen- eg first editions of appropriate books, that sort of thing

he bought her a readers digest atlas, because she wanted to travel. And a pair of chocolate tits because she'd had a boob job

Grin
HecateTrivia · 18/05/2012 16:48

merlin? Are you the OP?

akaemmafrost · 18/05/2012 16:50

There appears to be NO answer to this dilemma for you op in spite of the numerous sensible suggestions offered in the 76 posts I have read. I am lost as to how to further advise you get a grip and stop making a mountain out of a molehill. I await the outcome with interest.....

GoPoldark · 18/05/2012 16:53

I wouldn't be bothering to tiptoe around the ickle feelings of someone who spent the bare minimum on a present then dictated that I should wear it so that he could feel good about himself (as opposed to you choosing what you wish to wear and thus feeling good about yourself.

He sounds a selfish, tight-fisted arse.

Sometimes things like this are so useful in showing us what people are really like, and whether they are worth being with, hmm?

scarletforya · 18/05/2012 16:53

Yeh, just be straight with him. It was only 4 quid. How bad can it be if he's a little bit put out. It's 4 quid

Just tell him his taste is up his arse you'd prefer vouchers in future Grin

thegreylady · 18/05/2012 16:53

He obviouslyloves it and you too:-) I would wear it to leave the house, get him to fasten it for you then fiddle with the catch surreptitiosly so it is very loose. Then as you walk along gently lose it. When you arrive be horrified-maybe a bit tearful and say 'I asked you to fasten it for me!'

GoPoldark · 18/05/2012 16:53

Oh and chuck the crappy bracelet away - it's not as if you're going to want fond memories of this guy

akaemmafrost · 18/05/2012 16:54

How Machiavellian thegreylady I like it!

cakeismysaviour · 18/05/2012 16:57

He needs one of these awful, tacky lovely necklaces.

Oooooo lovely

Beautiful

Something more personalised?

Insist he wears it at all times. Be very offended if he doesn't. Hopefully he will get the hint.

HipHopOpotomus · 18/05/2012 16:59

I don't get this thread at all!!
The number of people suggesting she lies and lies about this silly bracelet Shock.

The OP seemingly refusing to take anything anybody is saying on board.

Is the OP's P a controlling dick, or just winding her up for a laugh, seeing how far she will go?

Floggingmolly · 18/05/2012 16:59

It's sounds really odd that he has so much invested in this £4 piece of crap - why would he "insist" you wear it?
Is he this controlling about what particular clothes you wear too, or is all the emphasis on the bracelet, for whatever reason? Just lose it, fgs Hmm

pictish · 18/05/2012 16:59

Oh fgs, just lose it!

I think he's being twat being so insistent, and me being me, I would be rebelling big time. That bracelet would be getting ditched.

HipHopOpotomus · 18/05/2012 17:00

The third one is PERFECT cake - shall we have a whip round? Have you used Pingit? Perfect for this :)

cakeismysaviour · 18/05/2012 17:03
Grin

I'm sure he will just love it!

laurenamium · 18/05/2012 17:04

I love my pandora Blush

GeraldineAlbeitAnAubergine · 18/05/2012 17:05

Why don't you make him a bracelet out of old beer caps and string and insist he wears to show you how much he loves you. Break down in floods of tears in public places, insist you can no longer wear the one he got you and that your marriage must be a sham if he won't prove his commitment to you by wearing your 'love handcuff'. If that doesn't work grind the £4 one into a fine powder and lace his dinner with it, it will likely poison him and your problem is solved in another, if slightly more illegal way.

RightBuggerforit · 18/05/2012 17:07

I like it! If my husband bought me some jewellery that wasn't really me, I'd wear it and love it anyway because he got it for me! The sentiment means much more than the cost or the fact that the charm is a bear rather than a guitar, who gives a monkey's about that? Buy some charms that are more you and add them on.

Xmasbaby11 · 18/05/2012 17:09

he only paid 4 quid for it. He can't be expecting that much love for it!

cakeismysaviour · 18/05/2012 17:11

He probably thinks it was an absolute bargain for 4 quid and is exactly the same as the expensive versions.

valiumredhead · 18/05/2012 17:15

right I agree in theory but the sentiment behind this particular gift seems to be control.

BrainSurgeon · 18/05/2012 17:16

I know it's hard but I think you should tell him.

Just think he may buy you more of the same if you don't!

What if he replaces it for you if you "loose" it???

hiviolet · 18/05/2012 17:19

GoPoldark is SPOT on.

It says a lot that he bought you a shitty present and expects you to love it.

WhiteWidow · 18/05/2012 17:21

If it has beads like those, and your husband isn't a cheapskate, I suspect it's a Pandora? I like those :)

In answer to your question, I usually use the excuse of being scared to lose it.

WhiteWidow · 18/05/2012 17:22

Ah I didn't read the first line about it being only £4.

Just tell him it makes your skin go green, because it's cheap metal