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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that this is an odd way to react to being told the news about your first grandchild

118 replies

coocoocatchoo · 17/05/2012 20:00

DH and I have just found out that we're having our first baby and were keen to let our parents in on our fantastic news. When we told DH's mum and dad, I felt quite upset at their reaction, if you can call it that. The thing is, they didn't seem to react at all. If you'd have walked into the room just after we'd broken the news, you wouldn't have known at all that we'd announced anything. It was quite bizarre. DH and I continued on chatting, more to fill the awkward silence than anything. We didn't even get a 'congratulations' out of them...even my boss did that much! Confused

They aren't very emotional people, but for this announcement I did expect something along the lines of 'we're really happy for you' at least! AIBU to expect a bit of a fuss from our nearest and dearest (esp the future grandparents about their first grandchild?) Has anyone else had the same sort of reaction from their families/in laws??

OP posts:
OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 17/05/2012 20:01

Congratulations!

Do you usually get on well with the in laws?

JustFab · 17/05/2012 20:02

Yep. They wrote us a card and apologised for the non reaction but they were beyond delighted and have been doting grandparents ever since.

Congratulations!

FriskyMare · 17/05/2012 20:03

My MIL was the same, we told all gp's over a meal, my parents were delighted to hear the news about their 4th gc, MIL said nothing... (although we haven't been able to get rid of her since....)

Oogaballoo · 17/05/2012 20:05

They didn't say anything? Did they just..look at you?

Congratulations btw. Perhaps they will be say more when it sinks in.

lou2321 · 17/05/2012 20:06

Well with DS1 it was extremely sudden after we'd got together (just a few weeks Blush ) so there were mixed reactions which is fair enough really, when we told my parents my dad actually said 'look, I just got a new phone' and left the room.

We were really excited to tell them about our 2nd pregnancy - my mum said 'Oh, I thought you were going to tell us you were getting married'. She was excited really and we did laugh as it was such a typical thing for her to say.

ErikNorseman · 17/05/2012 20:06

CongratulatiOns! They sound like weirdos!

Haribojoe · 17/05/2012 20:06

Congratulations Grin

When told I was expecting DS2 MIL said "I can't believe you're having another baby with her" We'd been married for 7 years and together for 12!

Don't let it put a dampener on your special exciting time, they might just need time to warm up! And if not then sod em Wink

Original poster
coocoocatchoo · 17/05/2012 20:06

Thank you! :)

Hmmm, I do get on with them, but I wouldn't say we got on like a house on fire, if you know what I mean. I feel a bit uncomfortable around them TBH as I find they're not overly friendly folk!

OP posts:
reddaisy · 17/05/2012 20:07

My FIL responded to the news that I was pregnant by saying: "What is Sandra going to think about that?"

"Sandra" was DPs ex-wife!

IAmBooyhoo · 17/05/2012 20:07

what exactly did they say? they didn't just completely ignore what you said and talk about corrie did they?

BlueFergie · 17/05/2012 20:08

If you and DH have just found out you must be very early in the pregnancy? Maybe that's it? I personally hate knowing that early as I am always nervous. Even with my own three I didn't really get excited until past the thirteen weeks. It is odd not to say anything though. Maybe they were really surprised?

MrsJamin · 17/05/2012 20:08

My MIL's first few sentences were "I'm not ready to be a grandma. I can't be a grandma yet, etc...." Hmm. She was younger than 50 at the time and has been a lovely grandmother since then but still!

hattifattner · 17/05/2012 20:09

if its any consolation, my parents said: "Well I hope you dont expect us to fly over for the birth" when we told them.

FeakAndWeeble · 17/05/2012 20:10

DHs parents said 'Oh! On purpose?' Grin

My mum said 'You're due in March? Clever girl! Babies born in February and March statistically perform better than their peers throughout their academic life. Since they are in the 'middle band' of ages for that year the syllabus is catered exactly for them. So well done.

Not like your sister, having a child in July. Stupid woman.'

My mother always manages to say something completely bloody random unexpected. But I don't think any of the family either side actually said congratulations.

Don't worry about it, enjoy your own happiness Smile

skateboarder · 17/05/2012 20:11

My mum didnt say much when i told her i was pg with dc1. She seemed a bit cross, but she now says it was shock.
The knitting needles were out within days though and she is a fantastic grandmother. Unlike mil who cried with joy at the news and has turned out to be a very poor grandmother.
So ime, first reactions were misleading to say the least.
Congratulations, i hope their interest increases over the coming months.

cherrypieplum · 17/05/2012 20:11

My ILs are fantastic and had been waiting for us to announce baby news from the word go but when it actually happened MIL had to dash out to look after first grandchild and didn't return for ages (not her fault- bloody B and SIL).

My husband was a bit pissed off by the reaction. Have been fab since.

Sometimes it's not what you expect.

smalltown · 17/05/2012 20:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
coocoocatchoo · 17/05/2012 20:12

Oogaballoo - I think my FIL said something like 'how many weeks are you'. That was it really. It was over dinner and my MIL carried on eating. After a bit of awkward convo between DH and me, my FIL said something along the lines of there being benefits to being an older father... Hmm

DH and I are both 29, so not whippersnappers. Very recently married. Later on though, my MIL told me that she thought we'd visited to tell them that. Can't have been lack of reaction because of the shock then. Baffled!

OP posts:
discobeads · 17/05/2012 20:12

congratulations!! when we told my PIL - MIL hugged me and said "please make it a girl" - no pressure then!! Shock

luckily for our child, she was a girl, and has been spoilt ever since - I dread t think how MIL would have reacted to a boy Grin

lou2321 · 17/05/2012 20:13

FeakandWeeble - that is so funny, I must tell my absolutely useless brother and stupid SIL who is due in August!!! I am much 'cleverer' with my spring born DCs.

scentednappyhag · 17/05/2012 20:13

My dad changed the subject when we told him, completely ignored the pregnancy for 7 months, and then 2 weeks before DD was born went into a panic trying to buy us cots etc. He didn't seem to understand that we'd been preparing the whole time Hmm
He loves being a grandad now she's a toddler though- although he was terrified of her as a newborn... My dad is rather difficult.

Umicar · 17/05/2012 20:15

When we told PIL about baby number 2, MIL just looked blankly and said "oh, I thought you weren't having anymore" then asked when it's due, we said June, and she said "oh, another one"... Since then, she has never said congratulations or anything positive, just "Are your parents happy?" felt like saying happier than you!

They love DS so hope they will grow to love DD when she comes. I must admit it has created a divide and I tend to stay away from visits with them as its so hurtful.

FeakAndWeeble · 17/05/2012 20:17

discobeads My mum asked us what we'd do if it was a boy. I think I said something like 'Er... Apologise to you?'. Of course, t'was a boy. And of course, she thinks he's the most marvellous being ever born and would now flatly deny she ever wanted a granddaughter Grin

lou2321 Absolutely. Well done. Wink

marzipananimal · 17/05/2012 20:17

When we showed PIL the scan picture, FIL said 'it's really ugly'. I was not best pleased.

thebody · 17/05/2012 20:17

Yes agree with small town! It's the sex in their face iucwim.

Don't worry enjoy, congrats snd sure they will be delighted in time.

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