to think there is no need for posts like this

[tenby81]

Bit of background. I have faced a number of bereavements in recent years. (including mum,dad and a sibling)
I have also experienced pregnancy loss.
I have read post where people are complaining that their mum gave their dc sweets of whatever and thought "well at least you have a mum". In my defence this was about 2 weeks after mums death.
However, I would never actually post this on a thread because I could appreciate how op may feel.
Yet, I have seen a number of threads recently where people have done just that.
AIBU to think that although understandable this shouldn't be done.

I completely agree op. I too have had very similiar experiences as you. I would never dream of telling someone they are not entitled to feel the way they do because I feel worse.
It's a pretty shit attidtude to have, sort of like a 'woe is me, nobody has it as bad as me' attitude.
Just becasue I've been through a tough time, it doesn't make anybody else's loss or times of difficulty any easier for them to bear.
Part of being emotionally literate is recognising other people's feelings and allowing them to feel that way.

I know what you mean OP,

But, I've done this

Try not to do it though but sometimes can't help myself, when feeling down about loss of DDad and someone posts something whiny like

"My DDad wants to visit us to see the DC's, how annoying, doesn't he realise we've got tennis/tea-party/baking/sea-shell collecting/really important stuff to do!"

Quick - what does 'NT' mean (another thread)? I am assuming its not 'National Trust' but this is often flung at people, so I am assuming it falls into this threads subject?

according to the acronyms it's neurologically typical
whatever that means

Yanbu op.

Meanwhile, aibu to find quite funny the number of people who have mis-read (or more likely not fully read) your op?

Also, Hully, that was one of your finest ever posts that one you did at 9.22.

WTF - is someone calling me 'normal'? I have never been so insulted in all my life... Must go and yell at someone.

neurologically typical means everything in your brain is working as it should be..not sure it gets "flung at people"

bibs - my tongue typing post?

why thank you

I thought AS got "flung at people" to be honest. "Your husband has been orchestrating a seemingly carefully thought-out scheme of abuse, degradation, and belittlement for ten years? Have you considered Aspergers?"

'If your NT child of 7 can't change themselves without mumsy supervising, you have failed them'. (not the snappiest use of it but one that I came across last). It's from another thread bun fight. Its hotting up somewhat over there.

And Hully - I found your post quite thought provoking. I'm now off to pen a haiku about it.

YANBU, I hate that kind of 'children starving in Africa' attitude. People moan and it has no relation to other people's circumstances.

I remember being quite offended though when I was seeking advice about Nuchal testing to be told that anything could happen in the birth and I could end up with a child with special needs anyway so what was the point of testing. I hate that kind of posting when someone is clearly seeking support.
On the other hand I can, having experienced a miscarriage myself, understand how it can get to the point where you start to think 'at least you have...' and so on so I always cut these kinds of posts some slack.

YANBU. I always think those kinds of posts are very attention seeking.

I say it to my dc all the time just to drive them insane.

Ds was going on about his hair the other morning and I kindly pointed out he wasn't standing in the path of a tsunami or starving in a dustbowl.

I think it helped.

Hully - I say things like that too...

yeah see, it's perfectly reasonable.

I am sure your kids appreciate it and it helps give them a new perspective

My dd has got a real vein of passive aggressiveness (she does it as a joke though thankfully).

If I moan on at her leaving plates in her bedroom she pulls a face 'I feel so sorry that I am not the perfect daughter' before flouncing.

She would fit in really well on mumsnet.

I agree too OP, as understandable as it is to feel resentful, other people moaning has nothing to do with my problems, they didn't cause them, and if they stopped moaning my problems wouldn't magically disappear.

When I went through a really bad patch my friends always used to apologise before complaining about something or other, and I told them to stop as I hoped I could still be enough of a friend to be there for them, even if my problems were on paper more serious than theirs.

Maybe you should try it back. Mum I want x, everyone has got X. You - well we can't afford it, sorry if I am not the perfect mother!

Disclaimer - I am not really suggesting this

Well the people misreading the OP might have an underlying condition. So before we have more information whoever said they WBU is clearly being unreasonable.

Well Get0rfMoiLand she didn't ask to be born flashback to my teenage sister.

DuelingFanjo sorry don't understand you post, why would you be offended by some one telling you the truth?

at she didn't ask to be born

Eats - that is a perfectly reasonable answer tho.

Or, do you, darling? Do you know what i want? I want jewels and an elephant and a full complement of staff and world peace every wednesday.

Yes Hully - perfect passive aggressive reply