to think there is no need for posts like this

[tenby81]

Bit of background. I have faced a number of bereavements in recent years. (including mum,dad and a sibling)
I have also experienced pregnancy loss.
I have read post where people are complaining that their mum gave their dc sweets of whatever and thought "well at least you have a mum". In my defence this was about 2 weeks after mums death.
However, I would never actually post this on a thread because I could appreciate how op may feel.
Yet, I have seen a number of threads recently where people have done just that.
AIBU to think that although understandable this shouldn't be done.

I posted once moaning about my car breaking down AGAIN and how much it was going to cost to fix it. It was a moan about the general shitness of this particular car and how I couldnt afford a new one, but that this one has cost the same as a new in fixes in the 2 years I have had it. I wasnt asking for answers just needed to let off steam.

I got the "Atleast you have a car, we work 2 jobs each and mortgaged the kids but we cant afford a car....you are so entitled (probably!)"

I couldn't agree more.

I remember starting a thread about speech delay in my first child - he had significant speech and social delay and I was really worried about him - and of course someone came on halfway through and said, 'You should be grateful, my child will never learn to talk'.

I do feel extreme pity and empathy for posters with more serious problems than mine. But that doesn't negate my (comparatively) small, insignificant problems, does it.

Faye that's exactly what the op is complaining about - she agrees with you!

I have gas

that was supposed to come after Hully's post but I cross posted with a million people

That's ok. At least your digestive system works.

I want a digestive

i was gravely injured by a giant falling digestive once

I'm not sure everyone on this thread is being completely truthful

ARE YOU CALLING PEOPLE LIARS?

ARE YOU SHOUTING?

yes

Stealth In answer to your question about "being grateful", I think personally, whenever I've thought (never post it!) "at least you have a mum" its partly because I have guilt over not being grateful and at times being a cowbag (teenager!). I lost my mum at 20 so never got to that point where you are two adults that have an adult relationship as mother/daughter iyswim.

I never think it in response to a serious issue either, (we are estranged from mum & dads extended family) only the minor trivial things!

liar, liar, pants on fire

I see where you are coming from OP - I think sometimes in the heat of the moment and soon after a bereavement people are still coming to terms with their loss and emotions and I will give them the benefit of the doubt - I have posted something similar ' well at least you have a Mum' soon after my Mum passed away.

People may not find that very helpful on their post but just a little understanding of what that person has lost in their bereavement goes some way .

I don't post things like that any more - as I said the bereavement was still quite raw.

I don't think there is any excuse of people making comments about ' well at least you have a car' etc

I know exactly what you mean OP. I can intellectually comprehend that such posts are posted out of grief. However, when I saw a "at least you've got a..." post on an emotional abuse thread, I think I had to go and lie down!

it is very very hard to constantly read posts about "my child never shuts up" or "my 3 year old only has 2000 words" when my child cannot speak and probably won't though..requires a lot of hand sitting.....I'm sure it is the same for people who are bereaved...(yes I know people will say "at least you have a child" to me!)

Things like "it is absolutely devastating that my child got a B in her exam" ARE hard to read if your child will probably never ever know what "B" is...sometimes you do get tempted to give people a dose of perspective..however I don't..only once when someone said "please give me some perspective" I did..then got flamed of course :)

Also if you desperately need a car it is probably hard to read about someone moaning about their car..but yes, people should rein it in a bit.

However everyone is human and has off moments so people should live and let live a little with regards to posts methinks.

Here here !- even when you post three time in a row

sorry, I always do that..I post and then think of something else to add

its because i am always posting while doing something else (see I did it again!)

Doh !

nuts! Mmm doughnuts

I'm with fanjo. We all have a topic that we are overly sensitive about but we need to live and let live and sit on our hands.

Nobody would ever post on here if we went along with your suggestion OP as all posts have the possibility of hurting someone's feelings.

At least I have a house/car/laptop/access to MN/lunch in the oven/fingers to type with/clothes/socks/TV/opinion on politics/clean loo/cup of coffee next to me...