to think that I will still be a good Mum even if I know nothing about babies?

[Aworryingtrend]

Hormonal crying pregnant lady here so please be kind.

I am due in October with our very much planned and wanted first baby. Today a colleague brought in their 2 month old baby and as I was holding him a few people commented about how I didn't look 'natural' or like I knew what I was doing. I said in my defence that as we married quite young, none of our friends have babies, no babies in the family so I simply haven't held a young baby before.

Cue deafening silence then a choris of "OH MY GOD you've NEVER held a baby before! How will you cope! What will you do? How will you know what to do? Have you told your midwife?" Etc.

I am now horribly upset as I had (perhaps naively) thought that despite not knowing any babies, I would still be a good Mum? DH and I are ridiculously organised, we are doing bucketloads of research into prams/car seats/other baby paraphenalia and reading lots of books etc...but now I'm worried this isn't a substitute for real life experience?

You will be fine! YOUR baby is different from other peoples babies - all those parenting instincts will take over.

You will be fine. Holding your own baby is different to holding someone else baby. I had never changed a nappy until i had ds1. I think your colleagues were quite rude actually

Those people are dicks. Smug bastard dickheads, who should STFU before someone bashes them with a shitty nappy.

No one has a clue what they are doing. They give you the baby and you go home in a trance staring at it. Then you make it up as you go.

holding someone elses baby and going 'coo' at it has fuck all to do with parenting your own.

You will be just fine :)

No reason why you shouldn't be any good at it. The first child is a learning curve for anyone. It it makes you feel better, I had never held a baby before the birth of my dd either and knew nothing about kids. I don't think it makes any difference. You'll be fine. Just ignore the comments.

You'll be absolutely fine.

I'd never held a baby before, either. It all works out.

What about everyone with a baby, who's never had a teenager? You get there, you cope.

Take no notice. These are silly, hurtful comments that are based on complete nonsense. How are you expected to know anything about babies before you've actually had one? It's a topic close to my heart because as an only child with older cousins I'd had no exposure to babies either. I'm not a very "mumsy" looking person either and was even less so back in the days when I was expecting ds1.

However, you'll cope just fine. Everyone is a tad overwhelmed by the initial responsibility - as we left hospital I remember thinking "Are you people serious? You are allowing me home with this precious baby when I know nothing?" but they did. And he's 31 next month!!

I had only held my sisters baby a couple of times before my own arrived. I was terrified and felt everything I was doing was wrong. I was criticsed by overbearing in-laws and alot of "do-gooders" relatives who offered advice I really didn't want.

One year later my DS is healthy, happy and all in one piece so quite frankly I cant be doing it that wrong!!! You will be fine. Accept help when you need it and some times a cuddle is the answer.

You'll be a fab mum, she is talking shite!

I knew bugger all about babies till I had my DS.......they dont come with a manual sadly, we just learn as we go along!

Wow! What mean friends!

Lots of people (including me) don't/didn't know a thing about having a baby, and then are presented with one to take home! Even if you have held loads of babies in your time, you probably still have no idea about feeding/changing/sleeping/burping etc etc

If it helps, we weren't allowed to leave hospital until (breast)feeding was going fine, and we asked to be shown how to bath the baby before we left. Midwife was happy to oblige.

And mumsnet! Ask all the questions you want.

Plus, in the first 24 hours of your baby's life, you'll probably have held your baby for longer than a childless person has held one, anyway!

So, don't worry! You're not unusual and will be great!

You will be fine! I was freaked out by babies before I had my own and I think I'm a pretty good mum! Honestly, when you meet your little one you'll know what to do, just make sure you have enough time just you, dp and baby to figure it out. Without other people interfering giving you advice.
Just enjoy your pregnancy and try not to worry about things! :)

I used to refuse to hold other peoples babies because I just wasn't that interested. My own - totally different matter.

It's really mean that people said you looked awkward.
It's a steep learning curve when you have a baby, but everyone who's ever had one was a first time Mum to begin with!

What silly colleagues you've got! It's not about how many other babies you've held or known: you are going to have all the time in the world to get to know your baby, to understand him, to be the expert on him.

I had had a fair bit of experience with other babies when I had dd- in the sense that I had changed nappies, bottlefed, held and burped. It was only a very limited preparation for the real life experience of having a baby full time: I learnt that on the job- like most parents do. You will be fine!

I had only held a baby twice when I had ds, and I was 34 when he was born. And I don't think I've held more than two since. And ds, and I, were fine.

I was terribly nervous before I had DS because I had no baby experience and was also one of those who wasn't quite sure how to hold one.
But it all ended up coming naturally and it really is different when you have your own.
Don't worry. And anyone making comments like that is just plain rude (and daft).

How bloody rude to tell you that!!!!

I actually think it's an advantage in some ways not to have any experience as you don't have ridiculous pre conceived ideas of how you should be.

YOU WILL BE FINE xxxx

Panic not! My sil had a baby 7 weeks before mine. We went to visit the newborn with me heavily pregnant. In the car on the way there I had a massive panic 'ii don't want to hold the baby, it's too soon, I'm not ready, oh god what have we done!' etc etc. turns out the visit was fine, the cuddles were fine and my baby is fine!

Been a first time mum for 16 months now (12 of them on my own since dicky ex did a runner!) a s it all comes naturally I promise!

Do these people know you are PG?! How insensitive of them! You will be an absolute natural once it's your baby. None of us knew anything about babies until we had one! And even people who are trained as nannies and midwives/HVs probably still go through all the same insecurities when it is actually their turn for real. You will be just fine.

Thank you so much everyone, you have really made me feel better. I really wasn't worried until their comments and then I just started to panic. Yes they were very thoughtless I think. Rang my Mum in tears who said the same as you- no one knows what they are doing til they have one!

Thank you all.

how horrible, you poor thing! of course you'll be a good mum - you'll be like the rest of us and just make it up as you go along!

when I had my first, she was born at 6am and it didnt occur to me til about mid-day that actually, I should probably change her nappy... oops! she's survived, and will be 16 in Sept.

You'll be fine! I'd never held a baby, didn't have a clue how to change an nappy. You learn very quickly and it's fine. Your baby is different to holding someone elses. I always refused to hold other peoples babies in case I dropped them/made them cry!

I had been a nanny and worked in childcare for years and years, thought I knew everything - ds came along and I realised I knew sod all!!!

your colleagues are rude!

You will be a fantastic mum, instinct will probably take over and there are always parenting books out there, not to mention the barrage of advice you will get from friends/family members - oh and Mumsnet is always here to help you out in the middle of the night.

Please dont cry, it will all be fine.

Yes they know I'm pregnant which only seemed to fuel them further- apparently I should be telling my midwife that I don't know anyhting about babies so she can...do what exactly?!!!

Yes the worst culprits don't have any children themselves but seem to be experts on other peoples of couse

I still remember getting ds1 home and needing to study a diagram before I could fold his nappy properly - this was in the days of cloth nappies although the hospital used disposables.

While I was carefully studying the arcane differences between folding for a girl or a boy, ds1 promptly treated me to an arc of wee. Because I'd failed to remember the basics - never take your eye off a naked reclining boy baby's equipment. Unless you want an eyefull, that is...

After a few hours/days/weeks/months of holding your own baby you will have loads of experience! You have to learn on the job. I had changed a nappy before my DS but everything else was new. You will be great!

Mean work colleagues.