to think this use of baby changing facility was unreasonable?

[SugarBatty]

On saturday I went shopping to m&s. We went to the cafe and my ds pooed so I went to change him. The door to the baby changing was locked. After 5 mins another lady joined the queue. Another 5 mins passed ds was starting to cry. I began to wonder if the room was empty or the lock was broken so I tried the handle it was locked. The lady behind said she had used it before and there were 2 beds in there. After a few more mins she said she would come back later as her dc was only wet. I decided to knock on the door.

A girl opened the door and peaked round, I asked could I come in and change my baby. She let me in and locked the door and said "my friend is breastfeeding" round the corner were the changing beds and a girl sat feeding her baby.

Anyway I changed ds and left and the girl again locked the door after me. There was now two others girls queuing to change their babies!

I understand some people want privacy to feed their baby but blocking a whole baby changing room seemed a bit unreasonable. I also thought the chair was placed very near to the changing bed and can't have been pleasant for feeding your baby anyway! They were both very pleasant to me, the friend offered to stand and watch ds whilst I washed my hands.

Women, not girls.

That seemed a bit of a random ending! I just meant they didn't seem like they were being deliberately rude!

No it wasn't an unreasonable use

But it was very selfish and unreasonable of her to lock the door

Oh, odd. I have gone into the changing facilities to feed once or twice when I was feeling a bit insecure, but I would never have locked the room!

She might have an axiety problem is what I would be inclined To think. Could have been her first time out and bf.

Could have had an awful experience previously like abuse
For bf in public.

Although a v annoying inconvenience for you I wouldn't be moaning too much if she was young and pleasant and let you in when you knocked

I don't think it was an unreasonable use.

Perhaps she locked the door in case a 'dad' came in to use the facilities.

I don't really get it - if they let people in when knocking then why lock the door?

Cc, what would have happened though if a dad had wanted to use the facilities?

stealth Force of habit or perhaps to vet the next user

I call anyone who looks under the age of 40 a girl, including myself!

It was an unreasonable use. Changing rooms are not feeding rooms-they are for changing nappies. I'd have been well pissed off

From your use of the word "girl" I would assume that she was young and insecure. As her friend let you in I wouldn't have a problem with it.

I understand not feeling confident as I was shy feeding in public but there was no alternative place to change nappies but you could feed somewhere else. To be honest it made me thing large family friendly stores such as m&s should maybe have a separate baby feeding room as its not that nice to feed your baby in a toilet.

But u can hardly say, no you can't come in!
I do sympathise with her, but I'd be more anxious at the thought of a queue of angry parent holding pokey babies outside the door than just the odd mum and dad coming in, doing their thing and leaving, probably barely glancing my way! Do realise that's me tho and is have just fed in the cafe anyway

I'd say they were in their mid twenties same as me.

I used to use changing rooms when feeding and I would lock the door.

The reason being that when I first had dd I was a very nervous feeder. It would take me ages to latch her on and my reflux was really strong so she'd pull off and the milk would spurt everywhere. This stopped me from feeding in public. Not everywhere had nice feeding rooms (in fact I've been forced to feed in a toilet due to a lack of facilities) so I would use a changing room which would be locked in case a father came in to change the baby.

If someone knocked or I heard a mother waiting outside, I would stop, open the door, explain that I had nowhere else to feed and start again.

So yes you are being unreasonable in not being understanding. It caused you some inconvenience and I can sympathise with that, but someone who is struggling to feed and who is embarrassed at being forced to sit in there anyway, isn't really thinking about those who need it to change their babies. Not out of selfish reasons, but because their minds are just elsewhere (full of new baby).

I ahve visions on the friend "You, you and you can come in. You, wait 5 minutes. You and you, get lost!" :o

I don't know why you need changing tables at all. Does nobody change nappies on their knee anymore?

x-posted

I agree with you SugarBatty, feeding a baby in a toilet area is pretty horrible. My SIL has breastfed all her 4 children past the age of 2 and has NEVER fed them in public ... they all spent a fair portion of the first 2+ years of their lives being fed in public toilets because SIL couldn't bring herself to do it in public. And I agree about separating the facilities. e.g. All M&S have to do is separate the changing facility into two with a bit of plasterboard and hey presto, you have baby changing room and feeding room, job done.

Maybe she was insecure about feeding in public, or it was early days and she hadn't figured out how to do it discreetly, or she'd had a bad experience with someone being abusive to her about it.
Admittedly they shouldn't have locked the door, but they did let you in when you knocked. The other people in the queue were just as able to knock.
Can't really see the problem tbh.

M&S suggest you use their changing rooms for bfing in. They let you go right to the front of the queue even in the sales. Cue about 50 ladies clutching outfits glaring at me. Dd2 was even a very slow feeder so I was in about 45 minutes .

"Changing rooms are not feeding rooms-they are for changing nappies."

unfortunately some are feeding rooms aswell as changing rooms. as much as i'm sure people dont want to have to sit with their nose at your babies shitty arse level, sometimes their children need fed and the need to sit to do that. they would probably rather have a separate feeding room too.

It wasn't a small baby it jumped down off her knee I'd say nearing 2.

Callme I wouldn't have wanted to change my ds's stinking leaky nappy on my knee in the m&s cafe on a busy saturday afternoon!

DeWe, I didn't know that, good for them!
I wonder what sort of looks I'd get if I headed to the front of the queue with 2yo DD though :o

"I don't know why you need changing tables at all. Does nobody change nappies on their knee anymore?"

sitting on what chair? it was being taken up by someone feedng their child? and some changing rooms dont have seats at all. use the floor maybe?