AIBU in thinking that the IPOAT hall has transported to another dimension

[Minimammoth]

Where has it gone? Just as I was about to start sprucing it up for the jubilee and start tatting the bunting?

'oiled cannon held fast' sounds very interesting Miss Fids...

Perhaps we could extend the theme to the dances, Captain Turner taught me a very 'progressive' sea shanty dance which involves a certain amount of cavorting and a small amount of oiling. I am sure Captain Sharpe would enjoy it, but Madame Hully may not approve...

Rochester's Leg Up
Regiment's Rifle
Pirate's Plunder
Gyrating Gel
Lascivious Lady
Titillating Tisane
Pulsating Posset

Why, I'm quite heady already.

Oh I seem to have cross-quilled with you, Miss Syb. I do so hope you mean

How about

'pirate's pocket pistol primed'.

I fear it would be heavy on the gin and low on the fruit infusion to get quite the right oomph.

'monstrously tumescent protrusion'

Would require a very loooong glass I think. And lashings of rum.

I should be quite a'frisson at a "Pirate's Pocket". I declare our Autumn Ball shall truly be a wonder to behold.

Much comes to fruition in Autumn...

You are rather cryptic, Miss Belle, I hope that said fruition bodes well for you.

Please feel free to lob any excess fruition in my direction.

I see. I go out upon the road to spread the chaste word of modesty and retiring ways for gels, and all the talk becomes of weaponry and oiling.

I think you are all in need of a damn good shriving.

Let us have a Ball first, please, Hully.

More cocktails:

Chilling Chastity
Moving Modesty
Relentless Retiring
and
Shriving Shivers

We must not forget the magic ingredients of maiden juice and oestro-gin.
As for dances:
Rochesters Reel
The Flouncy Two Step
Fiderers Fandango

Shriver me timbers...

I have had many a cocktail.
I have no heart for weaponry.
I wish only to dance.

Showing a fine leg there Pag.
Aside< the Gay Gordon's we're too much for her>

Oh yes

Have you had your medication Pag. We may have to restrain you.

No medication. Plenty of wine.

Is that not good?

Wine good. You put your right leg in....your right leg out....in out in out shake it all about. Am I setting the right tone?

I am positively pooped after the Dashing White Sargeant, bits of me are throbbing, mostly m' feet.

No wonder, Mini, from your missive it looks like you were dancing till dawn.

The Hall is eerily quiet. Are the Ladies and Gels resting? I hear occasional scuffling and muffled laughter.

I'm very busy at the moment. My elder son reaches his majority next week and a ball is being planned.

In reality it's a family get together at a local hostelry.

He has vetoed almost every venue on the grounds that they aren't cool enough. I have reminded him that cool or not he is likely to be spotted socialising with people who are not cool and he has now seen sense. My next problem is ensuring that I have enough pins to stick in the voodoo doll of my MIL so that she doesn't turn up.

Ah Jins, an occasion full of possibilities is a coming of age ball. You could go for max embarrassment and really TRY to do cool. It's guaranteed to bring on eye rolling sighing and sulks.
You are right Miss Fids I was pacing the floor monstrous early, 'twas hot flushes over stimulation.
I notice that the end of the thread is almost nigh and it is traditional that nuptials are arranged. Mme Umami and Mistress Hully are matchmakers extraordinaire.

Oh Fie, I missed the dancing and the cocktails. I had quite a fancy for a Fully-Loaded Musket (shaken, not stirred).

Mme Umami I hope that you are looking through your little black book/scrolls to find some suitable husbands for our single ladies. Second hand will not do, so non you've already tried out please. We want virgins, trainable