AIBU in thinking that the IPOAT hall has transported to another dimension

[Minimammoth]

Where has it gone? Just as I was about to start sprucing it up for the jubilee and start tatting the bunting?

I hope there will be paddling. I am quite proficient since my lessons although wading remains a dark art

do we have an outing afoot? I am glad we have a Titty. Where are we orff?
I have had enough of paddling, It has been my mode of getting to work of late. < a new refurbished carriage is on its way>

I still think we should head here. It has the look of the Hall in a suitable holiday setting.

We can leave our stays behind and dance barefoot on the beach. There will be fronds and chilled tisanes. Paddling and wading are optional. As is skinny-dipping and cavorting.

I have engaged a Paddling Master and charged him with ensuring that all the gels are fully proficient in the art of Sea Bathing. He came highly recommended.

Look at this dear orphan boy! See how he tries to acclimatise himself to the water, in anticipation of his first ever holiday? Dear sweet thing. I think I had better give him some tuition in the finer points a Taking the Waters.

Don't wait up for me dears. I fear he's not a quick study.

I'm afraid the dear orphan boy is forbidden to me. But gadzooks I may change my mind about paddling. I could have few lessons and improve my technique. I do need to get my hips and thighs working more efficiently. I may even let the water get up to my most sensitive bits.

The dear paddling boy is indeed off limits, methinks the Widow has already begun to weave her dark arts about his poor motherless head

Here are some native orphans awaiting us at our destination

Ah yes Madame Hully, they are truly deserving cases. The poor poor boys. They need rubbing with unguents.

Oh it's tragic to see those poor orphaned boys in such a state.

These boys wanted to come but I have decided they'd be better at cleaning the parapets in our absence.

Yes I don't think they would benefit from our ministrations as much as the parapets would. Quite right Fidsy.

Ahem

They have already benefitted from our ministrations Mistress Hully.

Do you not remember when they looked like this?

Good lord saints preserve us! We must have ministrated with quite the vigour...

They needed a lot of work. I was exhausted after ministering to my share.

You must have more stamina and determination than I possess

I am not sure that the tatted bathing suits were quite the hit though. We must use another pattern next time. Still, they will do well enough and hold for the parapet cleaning.

We should perhaps use a thread with that new fangled nylon in it. I'm told that it allows garments to hold shape better.

Goodness knows it couldn't be worse than the results with our homespun

I can recommend my paddling instructor

After only two months I was able to move in water up to my ankles. I can now manage water just below knee height.

He was a genius

Fortunately when I went down at the cove with Miss Sybil to load up the dinghies (now a veritable flotilla) she introduced me to the pirates she has been ministering to. Oh the hours of devoted care she has spent on their well-being!

One particular form of physical exercise involved swimming without clothing which would weigh down their troubled limbs. So as not to embarrass them I joined in. My, that was invigorating. From tentative paddle to exuberant float in such a sweet short time!

I found it most wholesome and cleansing. None of that mustiness which comes when your petticoat gets damp on the way home from Evensong.

Miss Sybil had a pretty and fetchingly robust colour in her cheeks and her breathing was slightly fast, which I attribute to the exertions.

We did change behind a large rock and the pirate who aided us with our stays was, as he said, most assuredly blind.

He must have assisted by touch alone

I never notice any mustiness on MY petticoat. A good spray of lavender water and everything is as it should be.

I don't know what to say about this behaviour. I am having an attack of the vapours

I used all the lavender water drinking making a light tisane to relieve headaches.

I am feeling quite faint meself. The usurers have availed themselves of my purse and I am swooning with the thought of purchasing a new carriage. bloody insurers.
Pass that tisane Miss Fiddy. I'm feeling giddy Miss Fiddy.