AIBU in thinking that the IPOAT hall has transported to another dimension

[Minimammoth]

Where has it gone? Just as I was about to start sprucing it up for the jubilee and start tatting the bunting?

The jury's out on seeds because of the diverticulitis :(

I need replacement innards

Hmm. Buggeration, really. Perhaps, then, just a home visit from the good doctor, so that he may lay hands on you?

Oh yes. Laying of hands should work fine.

I like beetroot but was at a fog as to why it was being discussed. Then I sniffed around and realised you Gels have been dining once more at the Table of Un/Reasonableness.

Jins - all those proscriptions sound rotten. I trust you may still partake of the Hall tisanes and possets. All wholesome and bursting with goodness.

Oh possets and tisanes are definitely OK. I emailed my consultant the other day and have just had a reply. She says that increased fibre is probably an issue and I now need to decrease it.

That flies in the face of MN Wisdom!

Less fibre is not good on the sluggish movement front though, is it? And drinking cream? I am evidently hopelessly out of touch with modern quackery.

Who was it that suggested Love and Wine as a remedy, as The Remedy? Sounds good, heh?

So how does one get the bowels going on a low-fibre regime?

Perhaps a purgative posset of rhubarb and cascara?

Beetroot is the devils testicles.

Well the consultant says that too much fibre can be problematic as indeed can the wrong type of fibre.

Anyway enough of my innards. Our patron has marital problems and needs a place to stay.

They are slighting dear Johnny outside the Hall

As if he wasn't having a traumatic time already

Dear dear johnny I hear he has been driven into the arms of a ladymanlady. How confusing for th epoor love. I believe dear Vanessa was a bluestocking and refreshed not his possets.

POOR POOR JOHNNY

More orphans, Umami?

So tragic and sad. Let us remove their dirty wrappings and bathe them tenderly all at once in a very large bath. I fear we shall have to get in with them to manage.

Damn

Yes, yes, more orphans, Hully, in dire need of our ministrations!

The 'pothecary recommended this oil to soothe their wasted limbs, but it needs must be applied regularly and vigorously to effect a change.

I'll take number three. You can sort the rest out

< shoves Jins out of the way> number three needs ministrations in the woods, 'tis the summer solstice you know, there must be naked worship, or the sprouts will be wrathful. ( and there's nowt worse)

But I don't like any of the others

I don't want that child No 3. You two can fight over him.

Which one was number 3 again? My lorgnette has steamed up.

Let me drool cast a fresh eye over the dears.

Technically the number-3 child is probably vastly older than you Hully, if that helps.

I think the collider is playing silly buggers with me. I keep looking for the thread and thinking it has been moved, but no, it's obviously just hiding

In other news, no. 3 looks very familiar. I would think the dear Captain had a brother but those ears are frankly disturbing.

Beet root is the food of Satan. Just that really.

Sorry to hear of the internal disturbances Jins. Perhaps you stick to the other two main food groups - wine and chocolate. Neither have the wrong kind of fibre I am sure.

< links arms with Sybil> we are united against beet root as I said earlier tis the devils testicles. Shall we tatt placards?

Hello dahlings! I heard there was tatting to be done?

I can't stand beetroot either. I mean what's the point?

Ah we are united in the IPOAT against beetroot movement. Quick tatt some railings so that we can chain ourselves.