Would you be offended by a father accompanying his small daughters into the ladies toilet?

[NickECave]

I have two dds aged 4 and 2. My dh often takes them out and about in town on his own and inevitably needs to take them into public toilets. The thing is that male public toilets are often extremely dirty and unsanitary and I'd much rather he took them into the ladies. My question is would you be offended by a man coming into the ladies toilet when he is obviously accompanying a small girl? I don't personally know anyone who would have a problem with this but would be interesting to see if lots of people disagree with me.

I would mind. Sorry.

I wouldn't have a problem with a man bringing young children into the ladies or a baby if the only baby change facility provided is within the ladies.

I don't think I would have a problem with it, my dd was telling me yesterday that the men toilets in the local park are smelly and full of graffiti. I think a lot of men would be too embarrassed to go in a female toilet though.

I'm not sure where I stand on this.

Personally, I don't think I'd have an issue with it, I can imagine seeing a dad with a DD in the ladies and doing a double take perhaps, but not really caring.

If it's DCs of the age in the OP though, I would probably expect them to go with the dad into the men's, as they aren't old enough to be massively conscious of the fact that they aren't in the right gender toilets, IYGWIM. So I think in the OP's situation, the men's toilets is the most appropriate one. Just seek out a clean toilet, like was said upthread, supermarket or cafe toilets tend to be cleaner than public ones.

eatsbrains it was an explanation of why i felt some would get their knickers in a twist. are you saying there aren't people who just love to get all offended over something? it's a valid point these types exist. other reasons may be valid too, but this is one aswell.

What do people think this man is going to do in there? What is the actual effect of one man with small female children, being physically in the toilets? What?

I'd never object. I'm amazed that anybody would be so rude as to make a big deal out of it.

I would ask a man why he was in the female toilets. When he explained it was so his young daughters could use the loo id be fine.

I wouldn't be offended in the slightest.
Everyone is in cubicles so I can't see the problem (literally!)

scuba, I've never seen a woman changing any sanitary protection outside of a cubicle, or doing anything that would be considered too intimate for any other stranger to see, in a public toilet.

Well the question is-what´s better a man taking his daughter in the ladies or a young girl having to go passed the urinals with her father?

I'd rather DP blushed his way into the ladies with our dds than dragged them into the gentlemens with their urinals. And am very glad they're now big enough to go by themselves!

i change my tampon in toilet behind a door, so no big deal!

Makes sense to me; better for girls and small boys to be in female public loos. They don't need to see strange geezers using urinals.

What would he see? Females washing their hands?

I think that public toilets are equally rank or clean.

Most of the changing rooms I go to are unisex and we use family facilities.

you salute a man taking his own child to the toilet

what do men who change their daughters nappoes get an mbe

"And while a salute a man taking his children to the toilet,"

sorry but why the fuck would you salute someone taking their child to the toilet? i think that is the weirdest comment i have ever read on here!

If the issue is about men's toilets often being vile then surely this is equally a problem for dads out with their young boys? You wouldn't want a young boy needing to pee or poo somewhere disgusting, any more than you would a young girl ?

So the issue ought to be about improving facilities for men to use and take young kids into. Personally I wouldnt be hugely offended, but I can completely see the point that if we are going to have women's and mens loos rather than unisex, then people should stick to the right ones. I don't think it's down to any of us to do a kind of quick poll on mumsnet and then rewrite the rules. Other people might be offended (older ladies who might not post on here)

The real answer is to campaign for better gents loos though, so young girls and boys could be accompanied in their when necessary

But surely most men would take a piss while they're in there?

Therefore the toilets would end up just as dirty as the Men's.

And don't even start me about them leaving the seat up

As an aside if he finds the men's toilet to be gross why doen't he complain about it?

Wouldn't bother me personally most of the time - but it wouldn't really be ideal in lots of situations. I can't speak for everyone but some people find reassurance in a single sex space for lots of reasons which is why they are often provided. If a single sex space is provided it should be respected by all adults unless in emergency situations IMO.

Does the same father take his DS into the ladies in case he doesn't like the mens? If so, YABU but at least consistent. If not YABU all round.

I agree that mens toilets should be cleaner. However, until they are a solution needs to be found for the average chap taking his little girls out.

How about we shouldn't have anyone needing to pee and poo somewhere disgusting? Never mind sex or age.

I know plenty of disgusting womens toilets. It has never occured to me to use the mens as it might be nicer. Why should it work the other way round?

My male friend uses the 'men's toilets are filthy' to avoid taking his two boys to the toilet.

"However, a boy's willy does not come into contact with the toilet seat / urinal - a girls bum does."

my son is two, both his hands and his penis touch the rim of the toilet when he is peeing. it will be some time before he can manage without having to touch the toilet.

It's not just about the filth either (lets be honest here ladies). Men get their willies out when using a urinal. As much I do not believe in shame about the human body, it may be less of an issue for a small boy to see that than a small girl.

Dh takes dd to the men's, has never occured to either of us for him to take her to the ladies, I think if loos are skuzzy then the ladies are just as bad!