childrens centre attracting the wrong kind of mothers

[Morph2]

i'm not BU as i'm not too bothered (more disappointed) about the decision but others are very angry. Local surestart (only built last year) ran a group for walking to school age every week. Has been scrapped due to funding issues (ok i understand that its a recession after all).

HV unofficially told my friend the decision was because the session was "attracting the wrong kind of mothers". We've started attending another session run by the council which is abit of a trek away (they have started to charge a £1 a session but its worth it, i drive so i can get there), and when i filled out my new started form i had to tick (for monitoring purposes) if i was in one of the groups they specified, i wasn't so i didn't tick, just thinking maybe if enough people don't tick this session will be stopped too :(

When CC were opened they were about providing preventative support to those most at risk/in need. But it was thought those that needed to access them most wouldn't come unless they were open to everyone. So the idea was that there would be general sessions open to everyone and then more specific/taregetted session aimed at those in most need.

But then the coalition government was elected and funding was cut from public services, so the general sessions are being withdrawn. There was also an evaluation on CCs which showed it hadn't achieved what had been hoped and the conclusion was that CC were not attracting the most needy families - so the change to targetting

This is a really sad thread. I lived near a Sure Start centre when ds was born. This was in a very mixed area - bankers working in the City next door to people struggling with real deprivation/English as a second language but very poor grasp of English and so on. The HVs encouraged every new mother to go to the centre. As a result the people at the classes were very mixed - and we did all mix together, banker's families with recent immigrants with limited English, people who lived in tower blocks with people who had paid £750k for a victorian terraced house in the next street. It was great. We all shared and all learned from each other.

Such a shame if that isn't happening any more, and if Children's Centres are now losing funding if they attract too many middle class parents. Sneer at baby massage all you like, but it does have a point - it gets mothers and babies interacting and touching, which doesn't come naturally to some people (especially if they didn't have good parents themselves).

I haven't used the Children's Centre where I now live, because ds is older and I don't need the stuff they do. But I know other parents who have found it a life-saver. Just because someone has a decent income doesn't mean they don't have children with special needs (and have children with difficulties long before diagnosis) where extra support can make the difference between the parents struggling to cope and getting by.

And I resent the assumption that the way MC mummies behave/treat their children is 'good' and what WC mummies do is 'bad'. No matter what your background, mothers can learn from each other - just look at MN.

Seriously, I think we need way better young people's centres.
Places they can go and hangout and access help, whether or not they are parents.

If your boyfriends left you and your feeling lonely, you are going to go down the shopping centre with your mates, not to the CC with a bunch of strangers.

Many of these teens got PG in the first place to escape school and authority. Any attempts to reach them are going to be very difficult.

i think that's one of the things that sort of irks me about childrens centres, i work with children over 5 and provision for them has been cut mostly, whereas you could argue they need it just as much, if not more as they get older! they could be used up until 18 imo

edam - I do know what you mean. But CCs aren't aimed at all WC parents. They are aimed at certain groups like young teenage parents, those with mental health problems, etc. Some of these people will be great parents, but there will be more who are struggling to be ok parents.

It isn't really about class which is why I have used inverted commas, it is bout support groups for whoever is struggling with parenting. Those struggles may be cushioned slightly if you have more financial security, you have a supportive family, you have a garden for the children to run around in so you can have a break etc.

Before SS took off in our area there where many, many independant toddler groups. Some had been open for as long as 40 years.
They were run by local parents. They were friendly, cheap and informal.

Then SS got given a huge pile of cash. They were offering free groups with free refreshments, shiny new toys and even free trips to places like Lego land

So off everyone went to the SS groups and the old groups could pay the rent. Our oldest finally gave up when the hall raised the rent from £5 and hour to £25. A week after the toddler and all the other groups threw in the towel a Montessorri school moved in.

Now SS has less money. It is starting to charge more and you have to book sessions (this is a particular barrier for many families, more so than the money and affects mc & wc mothers who are struggling).

So we now have fairly feck all in the area. Unless you are organised, want formal sessions and have the money to pay (even if its just a little). £2-3 adds up if you want to do a daily activity.

I have given up. I tried with DC4 and it was hard. With DC5 it seemed impossible. I did find a local group but tbh, a few weeks of spending 2 hours being blanked by other mums was pretty depressing.

Luckily for him he is now in a funded 2 year nursery place. So at least he is getting some interaction.

I love our children's centres here. Its where I meet my new mum friends. I don't care where someone lives as long as you can chat to them! Some of us live on estates, some in private housing. I would be happy to pay a bit more to subsidise it for people who really can't afford £1 for baby massage or £3 for yoga but if you don't use the children's centres in my area there is nowhere else to meet new mums.

The one mum I met who did nct has to schelp across the city to do other things with nct mums as they all live in much, much, more affluent areas.

And yes, I probably would and can do stuff with Ds without using children's centres. But I'd be doing a lot less and a lot more on my own.

And if anyone reading this is in the Manchester area and feels isolated and worried they don't fit in with their baby anywhere give us a pm :)

south I agree. When SS started the LA stopped all of the over 5 provision. My older two used to go to a brilliant drop in holiday club. It was fantastic.

They knocked it down to build the new SS centre. They never replaced it.

we dont have many CC in scotland there is some but not a lot mostly in deprived areas saying that dont middle class mummies have the same sorts of problems than any mother with child rearing , I know these centres are supposed to centre on child poverty and development of CHildren also PND , which is brilliant but why not have an open to all policy even mothers with money sometimes dont know how to gfet the help they need , I volunteer with a children charity and we dont say you have to be poor to use the service its open to all ,

DeVere - Totally agree. Lots of groups that had run for years in my area collapsed when SS came along. Now there is nothing for lots of parents.

I know this isn't really anything to do with debate but I am slightly confused why OP is now using a car to get to the new walk to school session. Does this not defeat the object?

I believe this too (and also disappointed). Children's Centres are aimed at lower income families, but are utilised by middle class ones. Parents with lower incomes tend not (want to) use these facilities for one reason or another. It does seem a bit unreasonable not to give all children the same opportunities though.

Maybe they think the fake Juicy Couture mums will be put off going if the other mums there are all loud parenting about how Jasper simply adores hand woven mung beans and sprouting alfalfa.

ebb perhaps the OP lives quite far away from school and really the walk to school club is to free up the school gates from cars which is a good thing imo . although when mine were in primary we had a walk to school route and people were parking in the next street so that their children walked to school and got their points our school is with walking distance of most people , and for us it was a hop skip n jump , my DDs embarassingly got top points every session

ypu are right mythical im not what you would call middle class but not on benefit or live in poverty there is more than 2 types of family/person i wish there wasnt such a stupid devide iyswim

I found having DC to be the biggest social shake up since uni. It's a unique opportunity to reach out and make new friends from all walks of life. I reiterate that it is negative and short-sighted to try to segregate families (& consequenty DC) at this junction.

E.g If you cut out more 'effective' families from meeting their neighgbours DC, would it be any surprise if they then 'fear' their local school? And then that school becomes mysteriously poorly supported and poorly performing?

Wasn't the OP talking about the age (or stage) of child? i.e. From walking age to school age...

Agree it's very sad that so many places have closed down and now funding is running out so there is nothing availale.

Oh dear, they must think I'm really rough then as my local children's centre welcomes me with open arms.....

tooscary your right, have re-read it now.

cherryblossom

Probably not - Just you fit into one of their target groups. My local CC is full of mums who fit into the target group, but tbh are not the ones who really need it i.e. not the ones who genuinely don't have a clue how to be an ok parent

It's like the coalition gov'mnt is trying to split us into 'givers' and 'takers'.

You pay higher rate tax - you are excluded from children's centres & child benefit. (and conversely - the tax rehash means that the lowest income families are now entirely out of the tax system).

Of course the weighting has to be towards the needy. But providing a mum (even a top-tax-band mum) to access SUreStart support gives the message 'taxes are used to support people when they need help'. Allowing friendships to be forged puts a human face to the needs in your community. These messages can linger long after people have retreated back into their regular lives (which might include return to work/private schools/adult socialising - firmly back 'in your class').

If you're stopped at the door - it is a vivid illustration that we pay taxes for them. The message so easily becomes 'them feckless scroungers'.

Welfare state can't work without compassion and community -but maybe that is the desired effect?