childrens centre attracting the wrong kind of mothers

[Morph2]

i'm not BU as i'm not too bothered (more disappointed) about the decision but others are very angry. Local surestart (only built last year) ran a group for walking to school age every week. Has been scrapped due to funding issues (ok i understand that its a recession after all).

HV unofficially told my friend the decision was because the session was "attracting the wrong kind of mothers". We've started attending another session run by the council which is abit of a trek away (they have started to charge a £1 a session but its worth it, i drive so i can get there), and when i filled out my new started form i had to tick (for monitoring purposes) if i was in one of the groups they specified, i wasn't so i didn't tick, just thinking maybe if enough people don't tick this session will be stopped too :(

Interesting Eats.

Yet again though the squeezed middle ie those just above benefits are going to miss out.Time and time again.I think with all the pressures families are going through atm there is need for more support not less.

I'm definately more middle than working class but need the support of childrens centre. My family aren't near by and after uni my friends spread out. My colleagues are all at work so I have a very small support network and go to the CC to socialise as much for me as my DD (or in the past my older DCs). Also being on maternity leave my money is as tight as anyone's.
I tend to find my neighbours (mostly working class) have close, big families and lots of friends with children so have a lot of support and don't use the CC as much.

We were told by the centre manager at ours that we were the wrong sort of mothers. We are actually persuing a complaint against them at the moment. She openly admitted that there was a higher rate of PND on our estate (new build, lots of new families moved into hte area and feeling quite isolated). But because we are classed as middle class we were discouraged from using hte centre because our children didn't fit her idea of 'deprived'. Lets ignore the Every Child Matters agenda then!

In our local community a lot of the target market (so to speak) don't want to access sure start because they find them patronising and overbearing. They have their families living in the same village and turn to them for support, not a bunch of strangers so we now have a lovely brand new centre, with thousands of pounds worth of toys sitting idle because the target families are not interested and the families who are struggling are 'too wealthy' to access the centre.

CC are not really about "supporting" families. They are about prevention in terms of future problems with DCs. So it is about targetting those at risk so they do build good relationships with their kids and parent to a reasonable standard.

If you are able to build a good relationship with your DC and be an okay parent, really CCs are not really being funded for you no matter how much you are struggling. They don't say this publically as they don't want to put off those who most need help, but the Govt are only interested in CCs stopping future problems with dcs who will grow up to be criminals, unemployed, etc

the clue is in the title - children's centre
they are not for women whose self esteem has been dented by having children, or for shy women
they are to identify and pre-empt children from the risk of serious neglect

as eatsbrains says far better than I did

Usual they're pretty much all in the middle of council estates, aren't they? They can and are still accessed by a huge amount of mc families.

Then maybe they should stop bombarding the parents they don't want with their timetables and special events we can't go to as we're too old. I get at least one thing a week through the post from the children's centre reminding me about the under 25 coffee morning.

And thats not to say that there isn't a need for more support for parents. Just that this is not what CCs are being funded to do

I hate this. How does it help society to re-enforce barriers between people of different kinds of backgrounds. Of course it falls to the skills of the leaders to make everyone feel welcome. I think children (and their mothers) making friends across social divides is precisely the sort of natural and organic support networks that cash can't buy.

e.g. I was a young mum with a professional job. Baby groups helped me to make friends with other 'young mums' (who happened to mostly be in a worse economic position to me). Now our DC are older - we are still friends - and I can project my middle class prejudices share my experiences of higher education with their DC. Shutting the door in my face due to me not being needy enough would have been a negative thing to do IMO.

Ours is attached to the local school , which the MC wouldn't touch with a bargepole ,so I don't think they would use the SS centre.

Fair enough Eats but then they should really be excluding the poorer as well as the mc families and only be "inviting" the bad parents .Seems sad though as I would have thought the more positive experiences of parenting these mums see the better. Herding a whole group of mums who have no parenting skills together excluding anything positive seems bonkers imvho.In fact I could see it only making things worse.

Ours is at the police station.

because of the risk of harsh value judgements probably mrsh

Heffley - If you see above some posters are saying that their CC can now only be accessed via a referral from SS or HV. For others, they are using broad general groups to assess who is at risk. Although your risk increases if you are in one of these groups, of course there are lots of families in these groups who are great parents and for whom CC isn't really funded for.

not yours, btw - I meant some of the experiences quoted down thread

Because they are sitting with their non parent mates in the local car park smoking. While their toddlers sit strapped in their push chairs.

In my area, there are thriving NCT groups and voluntary toddler groups full of middle-class parents. Sometimes working-class parents go to the voluntary run toddler groups too. They are the sort of parents who believe in education and stimulation. CC are for severely deprived and vulnerable parents (teenagers, parents with learning disabilities or mental health issues, addiction problems etc). My CC offers a breastfeeding group and a baby clinic which are offered to all parents. Everything else is targeted, and rightly so. Why should middle-class parents with cars be able to drive to a toddler group in a deprived area because it is a) free and b) has superb toys and staff support? They are mums who probably drive to the soft play centre, the craft cafe or the baby gym and can afford to pay for stimulating activities. CCs are targeted at vulnerable mums who can't do this. The toys are superb because this will be the only high quality play experience that their children get! If it's already full of middle-class mums and their children looking down their noses at them (whatever the intention, this is how they'll perceive it) then they'll stop attending and their children will miss out.

But people aren't just middle class or deprived?
I am definitely not middle class but I am not on benefits therefore not eligible for most things - what happens then?

Are you able to have a decent relationship with your DC and be an okay parent? If yes then CCs are not being funded to help you. If the answer is no, then HV or SS may be able to get you a referral to access the CC

thats exactly it mythical - i fell firmly into your category.

When the children's centres were opened, weren't they supposed to be about providing facilities to everyone? They were even placed so that there was at least one centre within "pram pushing distance" of every family in country.
Then they were supposed to provide an early intervention point and prevent SS having to be involved with families by supporting early on, IIR all this C.
Now I know that funding isn't as readily available as it used to be, but surely it would be more cost effective to have a children's centre taking preventive measures earlier, rather than waiting until a family is in crisis and then referring them back to the CC through the very expensive route of SS?

it's all a bit mad isn't it! and who's to say mc parents couldn't be friends with more 'jeremy kyle watching (nice)' mums?