childrens centre attracting the wrong kind of mothers

[Morph2]

i'm not BU as i'm not too bothered (more disappointed) about the decision but others are very angry. Local surestart (only built last year) ran a group for walking to school age every week. Has been scrapped due to funding issues (ok i understand that its a recession after all).

HV unofficially told my friend the decision was because the session was "attracting the wrong kind of mothers". We've started attending another session run by the council which is abit of a trek away (they have started to charge a £1 a session but its worth it, i drive so i can get there), and when i filled out my new started form i had to tick (for monitoring purposes) if i was in one of the groups they specified, i wasn't so i didn't tick, just thinking maybe if enough people don't tick this session will be stopped too :(

I knew most of our hard to reach families by name after two years because it took ages to get them to come and ended home visiting, visiting local shops and cafes where I knew they were just to get them to trust me.

That's part of my role now, Lisa - to hang about the local parks / area and make them see I'm actually just a normal human being!

HouseontheCorner; the problem is, most of the target families don't go to each other's houses for coffee. They sit at home, alone, all day, day in day out, letting the children entertain themselves for the most part.

I think it's patronising of the organisers to aim to attract any 'type' of person, perhaps that's why the 'right types' are staying well away! How demeaning it is for anyone to be presumed to need special interference in their lives.

My DSIL was given free stairgates by her surestart centre, afaik she accepted them graciously, but had it been me being offered them I would have felt mild outrage shamed, to have been presumed to be so feckless that my kids were at risk to the extent I needed this kind of help.

On the other hand, when I was recently walking along with my toddler, I was approached by 2 women pushing leaflets for our surestart centre here. I must have looked a little disinterested, for one of them piped up "They're for everyone you know" I wonder what it was about my reaction that compelled her to say that

lisad123> we have previously suggested paying for sessions- that is not allowed, if we want to set up own group we can use surestart for our meetings to discuss group but would not be able to use for the actual group would have to find local church hall etc, In the decision to shut down session they assessed that there was local provision elsewhere, which to be fair there is, local church groups etc, which are great. Its just that the surestart centre is fantastic, it has an outdoor area with canopy to shade from sun and rain, there are black boards and painting boards all round the fences, its really just out of this world, and the toys, well they are amazing. The church groups are nice but obviously the toys are all donated so are old (although i don't think kids even notice this just us oldies) and they have to stay inside at the groups.

I still feel kind of sad when we drive buy surestart and DS (nearly 2) points it out.

I'm no way middle class although i would say i'm doing ok for myself so i can afford to pay and don't need to be subsidised, i have a car and can drive to other things that are on, DS is in no way going to be deprived by this sessions ending. i grew up in a one parent family and things were tough, my mum had not spare cash for us to do activities and we had no car, i know how lucky i am

Hehe I don't have to do that now, we are one of the biggest and well known and local community now accept that we are wonderful and not spies
Plus I left post but now do one group a week with my teenagers as the lady who replaced me couldn't handle them and they made it clear they didn't like her

we don't presume; we find out for sure, and to be pedantic, it isn't interference, it's support.

God I must live in a poorer version of Trumpton then Lewis! All of the poorer parents...mostly single and young, are well supported by one another...they're always at one anothers' houses...drinking coffee etc.

You look for people who are disconnected then? Mothers with no support network at all? It's not only about poverty then?

Love our children's centres round here. Full of all kinds of mums doing massage, music and yoga :) They don't do enough though and must sit empty or used by their host schools an awful lot.

But it goes to show you can put on fantastic stuff right on people's doorsteps for pennies (baby massage here is £1 a session) and they still won't go. I'd happily pay more to subsidise it further for others.

Lisa - spies or have a BatPhone straight to Social Care!

It's government aimed and sorry but certain families do need more help than others. It's not about the parents, it's about getting the best start for the children.

I have to admit I felt a bit intimidated at first by my baby group. Lots of older perfectly dressed mums. I took a bottle of ebm and felt like a bit of a leper as everyone else had their boobs out, so made sure to follow suit the following week! It was all cloth nappies and blw. There was a special group for young mums at my cc ( that I wasn't young enough for) but any younger, and dare I say it more working class, mums did turn up occasionally but soondisappearwd and I can understand why they would feel intimidated.

Anony think you sound patronising actually. I had the free stairgates and felt nothing but lucky! I was living at my Mums with DH as we'd just returned from Oz with our new baby and had no place yet...we were there for a year and so we had a visit and a lovely lady brought the gates as well as a great first aid box.

Of course I know WHY I had them...Mum lives in a deprived area...I got them because I was living there too....I wouldn't be so up myself as to be offfended though!

Yes isolated families too. I never presume anything about anyone but you do get to know which parents need more help than others in most cases.

I want some free stair gates please! I can't find any in our price range that fit our weird house! :(

Because of course 'middle class' mums can't suffer PND, domestic abuse, substance abuse, loneliness, poverty, mental health issues etc etc.

The cc I help out at welcomes any parent, no matter what class or background they are from, because anyone can need support.

It really pisses me off when people (like shiny Dave Cameron) say Childrens Centres have been hijacked by yummy mummies. Some of the ladies who attend our groups are undoubtedly more affluent than others, but that doesn't mean we should bar them from the sessions.

The centres are there to enrich the lives of children, surely, no matter how posh their parents are?

I guess I am a conspiracy theorist naturally suspicious kind of person, but the couple of times I did take my DC to surestart, I was put off by the registration forms. They ask all sorts of patronising and intrusive questions. Both times I was there I managed to avoid filling the forms in, I'd hate to think the DC's details were sitting in some pointless, or worse nosy/intrusive, government database.

OTOH our childminder takes my DS to surestart all the time, so they probably know all about him.

Real housewife, and that's why cc are having to turn middle class mums away aswell.
Most parents wouldn't think twice about driving or self sourcing something nice for their LO, and thats not what cc are for. It's for those families who can't, won't, or don't access alone without prompting or a hand.

not only about poverty at all, nope - some of our centres are in very affluent areas, but those areas have different targets to those in less affluent areas, naturally.

Targets are about raising prospects for children; be that through early education, socialisation for parent and child, parenting support, help with finances, housing, relationships (dv etc), pnd, more vulnerable groups such as young parents and those at risk of isolation, parents with multiple births... and more!

We have sessions for children 2 and over specifically to increase their awareness and abilities with numeracy and literacy because the connected school nursery noticed the children were lacking in those areas, so we "target" the families on the waiting list and next intake and invite them to specific groups to help the leap from home to nursery/school.

To be honest, we have targets coming out of our ears!

Well, maybe they are targeting local mums instead of further away mums because because they used local tax dollars to fund it.

There are targeted groups for all To access such as pnd groups, dads groups, money advice groups and standard coffee mornings at my cc, but a high number of other groups are aimed at certain types of parents.
Yes dv and mh issues of course cross all social lines BUT people's reactions are different an support and help offered and self accessed are very different depending on which class you fall into.

Anoy, those "patronising and intrusive" questions are so that we know which services to focus on.

If a certain percentage of our membership have no GCSEs, for example, we'll get Adult Learning in and provide courses. If a percentage have English as a second language and struggle with that, we'll provide language support. If a percentage have children with low birth weight, we'll work in collaboration with the Health team to provide information and support to the families to try to head off any long term effects....

we don't ask them for fun and we don't ignore the answers. We use them for statistics to prove what we do and why we do it to gain funding so we can stay open, frankly.

No because the plan was always to have c. In every community.

I appreciate what you're saying Lisa. But I am kind if middle class but we were pretty poor when we had dd, and I was feeling very overwhelmed and really needed and benefitted from the cc. I was very welcomed and encouraged to come by the staff. It would have been a massive kick in the teeth to be turned away in the assumption that I could afford to source my own support (where exactly in a semi rural community - and no I couldn't afford it!) I really don't think the ccs can exclude anyone. MN is supposed to be a source of support fir ALL parents but invariably has turned into a bit of a middle class yummy mummy affair. Should middle class mums be banned in the interest if fairness? Is everyone who posts on here by virtue if the fact they MAY be well off and/or middle class, without any real problems in their lives? No way, you only have to read some of the desperate posts on here to see that's not true.

I fucking HATE my phone. I do realise that last post was almost unreadable. Sorry.