MIL called me an Evil Bitch. AIBU to have had enough.

[Voidka]

I have posted before about MIL - she is overbearing and has had a dislike for me since DH and I met 12 years ago.

She likes to come over whenever she wants to, and thats okay but we are not always here. The latest argument came over Easter when she rang to see when we were going to be in, I told her and apparently that was me giving her an appointment slot.

She has since gone back to turning up whenever she feels like it.

She arrived last Thursday at 9.30am, all the children were at school/playgroup so she stayed 2 minutes and then left.

This morning I had to meet with the HT and the SENCo as we are about to apply for a statement for DS2. While I was there I put my phone on silent. I went into the meeting at 9am and got out at 10.20.

When I checked my phone I had 15 missed calls from MIL and 3 arsey texts. I rang her back to find she is sat outside my house and has been since 8.55. I told her I wasnt planning on coming home as I need to nip to the bank and to get some thread to sew on DS's scout badges.She told me that DH and told her that I had asked to change DD's preschool days which I was only doing to get back at her, and that DD and I should be here this morning so she can visit and see DD, then she hung up on me.

I then got a text which says 'why are you being such an evil bitch and stopping me see my granchildren, its not fair on me and I am going to speak to X (my DH) about your behaviour.'

I have had enough. I dont stop her seeing her grandchildren, but I have a life, and three children who need to be places and do things. I know DH will defend her because she is lonely and every time this happens I feel like our relationship dies a little more. In the past I have been accused of putting DD in clubs or classes just so we wont be at home - which isnt true, we just like going out to places.

AIBU? I am so cross I feel like telling her to arrange to see the children through DH and that I wont be available to meet in the week any more.

I think LeQueen's advice as perfect - you need to play the long game. Pretend to be sympathetic towards your MIL's problems and that it is best that your DH arranges time at the weekend to see her.

Stop answering the phone to her and I would make sure I was out all the time. The op needs to wean her MIL off the drama of hating her DIL by disengaging from her completely.

She is her DH's mum and also his problem. Offer support to your DH regarding his mother whilst simultaneously leaving him to deal with her by himself. Trust me, he will get bored of her antics once he realises that he has to deal with all the bullshit.

Definiteky disengage from yor mil. She sounds horrendous.
Youe mil sonds like my miL. My mil hated me the minte she saw me. For years i bent over backwards trying to please her. Everything i did was wrong. If i didn't give her a present on her birthday, i was stingy, if i gave her an expensive present i was 'showing off'
I think that the problem was that she had controlled her children for years and she knew that i would not allow her to control me. She would phone my relatives and accuse me of all sorts .Thanfully her children are aware of how awful she is.
However, i finally had enough and cut off all contact with her. She has no contact with my children either this may sound harsh, but she was having a detrimental effect on my life. I don't think that my mother in law has mental health issues, i just think that he is evil