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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What should I do?

183 replies

dowhatyouwant · 01/05/2012 22:34

I hate my MIL more than anything in the world. She recently given my husband a jumper for his birthday present as usual. I felt extremely unpleasant to be toughed by the jumper when he hugged me. He would be very unhappy if I would be honestly - 'I dont want your clothes touches me because it's from your mum.' He's kept a big shiny present box. I dont know how he could leave it like that where I see often. He's not sorry to me? Speaking of the background about this, his mum gives her son-in-laws and daughter-in-law(me) spending half amount she pays for her son(my husband) and daughters.
I think it's very thoughtful as an adult person. So I ever told her how I felt about her treating her son and me differently and she doesnt give me any more birthdays present.

He knows I dont like his family and I dont see his family. It's good I dont need to see her any more but every year on his birthday it upsets me especially when his hugges me wearing clothes from his mum.

Do I need to speak to the counsellor? I may have to see a private counsellor as an appointment time through GP dosent fit me.

OP posts:
MoonlightandRoses · 01/05/2012 22:37

Umm - yes?

LoopyLoopsTootTootToots · 01/05/2012 22:38

I'm assuming English isn't your first language? Your post is quite hard to read, but (I think) I gathered that:

  1. You don't like your MIL
  2. You don't want to touch anything she gives your DH
  3. She spends twice as much on her children as on their partners
  4. You may or may not be fine with this Confused
  5. Something to do with a counsellor.

No idea, sorry.

LentillyFart · 01/05/2012 22:40

Do you need to see a counsellor? Well you need to see someone, that's for sure, but I'm not sure a counsellor should be your first call.

squeakytoy · 01/05/2012 22:41

what should you do?

see a therapist for your issues...

DameHermione · 01/05/2012 22:42

Accidentwlly destroy jumper by washing it very hot.

Avoid mother in law.

RightFedUp · 01/05/2012 22:42

I think you need to get out more.
And yes - see a counsellor - definitely.

WorraLiberty · 01/05/2012 22:42

Could be worse

Might have been a shell suit

RightFedUp · 01/05/2012 22:44

I am loving the idea of being toughed by a jumper. Very Harry Potter.

squeakytoy · 01/05/2012 22:45

do you hate her because she doesnt give you a jumper then?

DioneTheDiabolist · 01/05/2012 22:46

You don't like her, but she's still his mother. She can buy him what she wants, he can chose to wear it if he wants.

I don't understand why you feel so strongly about this.

It does strike me as irrational.

duckdodgers · 01/05/2012 22:51

How can you bare to touch your DH at all then because your MIL gave birth to him!

ledkr · 01/05/2012 22:55

Stutters a bit. Runs away.

lucidlady · 01/05/2012 22:55

Has something else happened with your MIL or did you fall out purely because she spends less money on your present than she does on her son's?

CharltonHairstyle · 01/05/2012 22:56

Hmm I'm lost for words. Hmm

kittyandthefontanelles · 01/05/2012 22:56

You don't like her because she doesn't spend as much on you sd she does on her own son? Are you a grifting gold digger?

kittyandthefontanelles · 01/05/2012 22:57

Duck dodgers- don't put THAT thought in her head!

hiddenhome · 01/05/2012 23:00

Bleach the jumper?

trixymalixy · 01/05/2012 23:03

HmmShock

dowhatyouwant · 01/05/2012 23:03

Yes that's one of the main reasons I dont like her about birthday present. Do you think it's fair? At least my family spent same as they spend on min as a married couples are equally treated.
Another reason I dont like her is she wore a dress on my wedding showing her shoulders in March. Isnt this something without manners to the bride?

OP posts:
dowhatyouwant · 01/05/2012 23:04

sorry min = mine

OP posts:
RightFedUp · 01/05/2012 23:04

No it isn't. It's a free country, shoulders-wise.

Kladdkaka · 01/05/2012 23:07

So you don't like your mother-in-law because she buys her children bigger presents than people who aren't her children, and when you complained to her about not getting a present equal to her child she responded by getting you nothing. Fair play to mother-in-law. If my daughter's partner complained about me not getting enough for his birthday, he'd get something alright and it wouldn't need wrapping.

dowhatyouwant · 01/05/2012 23:07

Well what about the designer saying on Prince William's royal wedding on TV that the birde's and groom's mother should cover their shoulder?

OP posts:
dowhatyouwant · 01/05/2012 23:10

Ok. just one question, would you spend half for your daughter-in-law if your son is married? Have you not thought how would they feel?

OP posts:
Selks · 01/05/2012 23:10

Blimey, I would not expect to give my daughter in law a present of the same value as to my SON. ( I would still give her something nice though).
I think if you can build up so much resentment over a trivial non-issue like this then yes you do have issues and you should seek help.

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