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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it's rude to take little girls to a wedding in bridesmaids dresses...

189 replies

Dyeingforachange · 30/04/2012 08:49

...when they aren't the actual bridesmaids? Does this rank alongside wearing women wearing white to weddings?

OP posts:
KatieScarlett2833 · 30/04/2012 13:57

No kerala you would not

WilsonFrickett · 30/04/2012 15:01

You WBU to let them assume they were to be bridesmaids if they are going to end up being wrestled out of the church by a crazed bridezilla in purple accent colours disappointed, but YWNBU to let them wear their dresses.

Disclaimer: I'm not entirely sure what accent colours are so this post may be even more senseless than usual.

oopsi · 30/04/2012 15:12

Of course it is rude and disgustingly PFB to dress your precious little bunny in a bridesmaidy dress.

LillianGish · 30/04/2012 15:24

To be on the safe side don't invite anyone other than the bridal party then they can all be the centre of their own attention with no fear that anyone else might get in on the act (and spoil the photos - which are, at the end of the day, the most important part of any wedding).

EdithWeston · 30/04/2012 15:24

It depends how bridesmaidy. If it's white/cream/ivory and looks like it's come off the bridesmaids rail at John Lewis, then yes I'd think it odd. Other party dresses (even if they coincide with the bridal party colour theme) fine.

kerala · 30/04/2012 15:41

These aren't bridesmaidy dresses they were bought for last christmas and have done a fair few birthday parties since. They are velvet and net but wash well (good old M&S). The girls would be wearing them even if the bridal colour was orange its just a coincidence they will "match" . Also SIL is not particularly bridezillaish she is quite a normal person.

LowFlyingBirds · 30/04/2012 15:50

Im torn...

If this happened at my wedding i wouldnt care one bit, same if any of the adult women wore white, honestly dont think id even notice BUT...it would seem attention seek-y to me, on behalf of the parents i mean, not the child (and i wouldnt think that of a guest wearing white at all) so...i wouldnt be bothered, offended, put out but i would possibly think the parents were a bit weird.

kerala · 30/04/2012 16:04

This thread has prompted me to email the groom and check it is ok to wear the purple dresses making it clear we are NOT presuming bridesmaid status Grin. Phew what a minefield!

MyMelody · 30/04/2012 16:14

Maybe all guests should just wear boiler suits to ensure they don't ruin anyone's big day by daring to dress themselves nicely!

kerala · 30/04/2012 16:20

Wasn't it Liz Hurley that went to a wedding with ahem everything on display in a dress slashed to the crotch? I think were I that bride I would have preferred the boiler suit option.

WilsonFrickett · 30/04/2012 16:24

YY Kerala she had matchy pants on too but they weren't in the accent colours so that was OK.

susiedaisy · 30/04/2012 16:24

As a mother of boys I have to admit alot of little girls dresses all look the same to me and I wouldn't be able to tell what's a proper bridesmaid dress and what's not tbh!

MeconiumHappens · 30/04/2012 16:47

YANBU. Its rude, and awkward. I cant for a moment imagine why the mother would want to do this, its cringeworthy. There are a million othe rpretty dresses to choose from.
As an aside, my husbands elderly aunt wore a dress in exactly the same colour and fabric as our adult bridesmaids (completly unaware of the fact it was going to match and not a bridesmaidy style of dress) it was bloody hilarious.

Dyeingforachange · 30/04/2012 16:49

If it's rude where else could a child wear a bridesmaid's dress for a second time? Presumably you run the risk of upstaging the birthday girl if they wear it to a birthday party...

If it's not rude but you upset people by putting your child in a bridesmaid's dress presumably that's ok?

OP posts:
Hulababy · 30/04/2012 16:51

It wouldn't bother me tbh. Little girls like to dress up and wear fancy dresses. There is often very little difference between fancy party dresses and some bridesmaid dresses too.

TattyDevine · 30/04/2012 16:53

Wow, this thread is really something.

I attended my SIL's wedding last year and as parents we refrained from dressing my daughter in what is technically a bridesmaid's dress (or marketed as such) but could also simply be a nice party dress, just in case anybody recognised it as having been marketed as a bridesmaid's dress and thought we were trying to somehow "big her up" or make her look like she was part of the bridal party. This would not have been the case in retrospect as the bridesmaids were dressed in a tealy aqua colour.

Its amusing and interesting that a lot of the vitrol surrounding this issue is directed at women, whether its those doing it or those objecting to it.

"YANBU. It is very rude, and stinks of a mother thinking her pfb should be the centre of attention even at someone else's wedding" - from Freddo's post on page one - is it only a mother who would do this, then? Or is it the kind of faux pass a father is also likely to make? Or do father's never have any say in the getting-dressed of their daughters? And if not, why not? Confused

As for all the bridezilla comments - is it only the bride who might be annoyed if this happened? Or is the groom allowed to be outraged on behalf of any female guests who also aren't bridesmaids?

Everyone is sounding like a bunch of loons TBH.

WilsonFrickett · 30/04/2012 17:07

Tatty I do agree with your point on fathers, but I have to say after 41 years on this earth and a lot of weddings, I have never met a groomzilla. Ever.

entropygirl · 30/04/2012 17:07

tatty will be trying to make sure my DH dresses my DD up as a page boy at the next wedding we go to just to piss of the father of the groom...

MrsKevinBridges · 30/04/2012 17:12

I posted earlier to admit to being an offender in this, although it was ignorance rather than preciousness that led to it. However I have been off on school run, had a think and decided not to lose any sleep over it. My definition of rude differs from some others.

ThePathanKhansWitch · 30/04/2012 17:14

Buy them Tiara's as well kerala .Smile

I'm finding it hard to believe people are concerned about what small children wear to weddings. Amazing.

MyMelody · 30/04/2012 17:16

'Everyone is sounding like a bunch of loons' haha! Well this is mumsnet Grin is it a full moon? And why are there so many wedding threads? ( specifically wedding outfit threads?)

ChaoticismyLife · 30/04/2012 17:19

A little girl in a pretty dress wouldn't bother me.

Her parents pushing her down the aisle after the bride...yes, that's rude and attention seeking.

MeconiumHappens · 30/04/2012 17:20

For those asking "define bridesmaid dress" im thinking a-line satin/organza sort of thing, you know classic bridesmaid dress style, not just a nice party dress.

MyMelody · 30/04/2012 17:22

At the last wedding i went to the groom had chosen a lovely suit, and then all his so called 'friends' (ushers) turned up in exactly the same bloody outfit!!!! I felt really sorry for the groom, I mean no-one even knew which one was the groom, they kept asking 'which is the groom?' Grin Wink

MeconiumHappens · 30/04/2012 17:24

ah but melody, surely he had a differnt colour tie/flower....the devils in the detail ;)

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