To think it's rude to take little girls to a wedding in bridesmaids dresses...

[Dyeingforachange]

...when they aren't the actual bridesmaids? Does this rank alongside wearing women wearing white to weddings?

I don't think it matters about the dress but it would be rude for someone to put flowers in their DD's hair or carry flowers or walk up the aisle with the bridesmaids etc.

No rasputin it is about people who really should know the proper etiquette and just do not care and therefore are extremly rude. This etiquette has always been and has nothing to do with weddings being more expensive these days. My mother was given and etiquette book in 1969 which has all these issues in too. IMO it is not the wedding party who have the problem but the guests who seem to think they can do as they damn well please when invited to someones wedding.
If you are a bride or groom and do not care what people wear then that is fine, up to you but as a guest you should have enough respect for the wedding couple to not go and buy dresses you KNOW will cause upset to some

I think we should have an MN campaign for compulsory white Meringues (with sleeves natch) and a bridesmaids dresscode. Bridemaids should wear white, peach, lilac, pink, or lemon.

Guests can wear any colour they like, other than those.

And the first dance should be "Me, Myself and I" by De La Soul

Please tell me the name and author of this book so I can get a copy.

I need a good laugh as am home sick today.

I didn't ok it with the bride. I was talking to my aunt about the dress saying I wasn't sure as it was quite bridesmaidy but that it was a definite occassion dress, not a dress for popping to the park in and she would get very few wears out of it for this reason. I had more or less decided to put her in as it is her birthday as well but my aunt mentioned it to my cousin and she text telling me not to be silly ect. Annd tbh it is threads like this that made me question it!

Aw crap I have done this! My DD (4 at the time) had a very pretty pink dress that she had worn as an official, sanctioned, non etiquette ignoring bridesmaid at a friends' wedding. Some months later we went to a family wedding. SHE WORE THE SAME DRESS! BUT WASN'T A BRIDESMAID! Both bridesmaids were very glamourous teens in beautiful slinky frocks. I am afraid it never occurred to me that anyone else would care what a small child wore and she didn't have anything else even close to being so pretty. I hope we didn't ruin the wedding.

Just to add, before anyone hits on the 'why buy a dress that can only be worn a few times' I didn't, my mil did, from America so probably not hugely expensive and it was given as a gift for Christmas.

This is why I got married in secret at a registry office with only our son and a few key family members in attendence! A dress from Greenwich market a nice lunch at a restaurant and cake at home - sorted. Not a rule book or cat bum mouth in sight.

Other peoples 'rules' and expectations are what make such events stressful and the opposite of fun.

all the little girls at my wedding looked very cute, i didn't have bridesmaids but had a colour theme said they where free to use that colour

MrsKevinBridges

I doubt you did. I think this kind of thing is all about intention, context, and the background family relationship and whether the bride could compete with Monica Geller for planning.

I don't agree with non bridesmaids girls acting a if they are bm without permission but I couldn't really care less what they are wearing though.

My sil was very demanding of guests, had a dress code the lot. She was very lucky anyone turned up.

People forget that your wedding day is about your marriage and sharing the day with family/friends who you care about. It doesn't matter what they are wearing.

I am just picturing the scene - you're trying to get the family ready to go to a wedding. Someone will have had a tantrum, the baby has probably smeared something on your outfit and you've had to change. Little girl wants to wear her pretty dress that she wore to Auntie X's wedding and you say, "No, it's rude." Cue another meltdown.

The pretty dress may well be the path of least resistance. Let the little one wear it and feel princessy. Meanies.

When I got married all the little girls (2 - 4) wore lovely little dresses that were 'similar' to bridesmaids dresses and I didn't find it rude at all. Why would you? I though they all looked really cute.

My boys had smart suits for a close family members wedding and will wear them now to every wedding we go to until they are outgrown, whether thy lok like page boys or not.
Also all the men look pretty much the same anyway!

There is quite a cross-over with bridemaids dresses and party dresses, my bridesmaids just wore 'party dresses', but you could tell they were bridesmaids, they were the ones carrying flowers and following me

I have bought my DD, 2 years old, this to wear to a wedding at the weekend, h&m with the flowery clips underneath and sparkly ballet shoes that she spotted in the shop, am worried now.

Oh and I also have a white cardigan/shrug thing to wear with my green dress.

shrugs, can't be bothered actually

Thanks TheBigJessie, you live and learn eh?
Love the lovely gracious bride who made her uninvited little bridesmaid welcome. Am sad to think of this child being told to get back to her seat, she wasn't some attention seeking precocious brat, she was obeying her pushy parents. Tell them to come and get her (if you really must).

Actually you've just remind me.
DP never ever wear 'psoh' clothes unless he has to.
He bought a suit for our wedding and he has been wearing it for all the 'posh' occasions that we've been too ie weddings! Was it also bad 'etiquette'? he was wearing a 'groom' suit after all....

Serioulsy, what is important isn't what one is wearing but how one is behaving.
Sending a little girl who isn't a bm down the ailse is wrong.Having a little girl with posh clothes on sitting nicely is OK.
Wearing a meringue type of dress when you are not the bride is wrong. Wearing posh clothes, whatever the clour or shape is OK but if you were going the aisle, it would look quite strange lol.

Bloody Hell... I am so happy I lack the etiquette connoissance to care about all this bullshit...

I am getting married in January and I'll be lucky if, a week after the wedding, I remember what my fiancé was wearing to it.

Yes it is rude. This caused a few issues years ago when my Aunt announced that she was bringing my cousins to
my brothers wedding in their flouncy bridesmaids dresses, my sil had chosen quite plain understated dresses for her flower girls and was understandably not happy.

I really don't get this whole "attention" thing, the trying to get it, the concept of not wanting share it, the notion that that there is a set amount of it to be divided up at every occasion.

It is weird to try to make yourself or you your child look like a member of a bridal party when you are not, but it is not weird to recycle a party dress. It is weirder still to any sort have a hissy fit about any of it.