to be angry at dh

[Cazm2]

Dd is 5 weeks old suffers silent reflux so not always happy not good sleeper. I do night feeds or up with her in week. Dh went out last night to wet baby's head. Left at 7 came home at 330!!! I am fuming he was going to look after her this morning but incapable snoring muttering from alcohol and tiredness he neatly went to wee in herroom earlier. I think I am going to have to call dm to see if she can have dd for few hours whilst I sleep but feel that let's him off with resting

Both you and baby are ill and he swans off wether you like it or lump it? Charming. I hope you get aome rest.

*some

"I just think he is of opinion that blokes should get the break."

But sick women who've just brought their babies into the world should just soldier on?

He sounds like a right cunt, but if you're happy knowing you're second best to him and always will be then that's up to you.

Op - you're exhausted. Ignore idiot hubby. Ring your mum.

You need sleep. Everything else can wait.

I haven't been on them for a while but they used to be under breast and bottle feeding. There are loads of people there who can give you advice. The first is that gaviscon doesn't work, the second it to make sure it's not a dairy/soya intolerance and the third is to insist on a paediatrician referral ASAP from your GP.

If your little one isn't sleeping, you need to get different meds and some support.

I used to do shifts with Dh like you, where he would hold her asleep from 7-12 while I slept (with a wake for a feed sometimes) and then I would do 12-6am. At 6am he would take her out for a walk for an hour before work in her baby bjorn to get her and mesome more sleep. I love her so much but we were on our knees for months. If I hadn't got that sleep, I would have been vomiting with tiredness.

It turned out to be reflux caused by multiple food intolerances that took 3 weeks each time to get out of her system through breastmilk as she was ebf and wouldn't take a bottle for months. I had no family around to support and everyone seemed to think we were making a song and dance about nothing - until we went to stay at PIL one weekend...

We have been using colief which helped with her wind and not much esle. She is very mucasy health visitor suggested staydown formula and colief which you can't do. Gp dismissive as she is not sick with it.

Caz-get a referal to a gastric pead or even just a pead. My baby was so ill with reflux that she couldnt lie down and was on some pretty hefty meds,she even had type of pneumonia from breathing in the acid-she was never sick either. I have 5 dc ranging from 27 to 1 and I was completely floored by it.

The thing that made it more bearable was my dh who stepped up to the plate and took joint responsibiltiy for her and let me get as much rest as he did,because he cares about me and the other children and knew that this was not the time for drinking and clubbing as did I.

The result is a now happy baby and a continued happy marriage without resentment or bad memories.

We both survived and are now free to resume our hectic social lives.

No it needn't take 2 to look after a refluxy baby but it is preferable unless anything important like work,but not massive benders.

Caz, honestly you need to get some medical help. Stay down formula is a load of rubbish - you should be trying neocate or nutramigen aa which is only available on prescription, to rule out a dairy allergy. It's expensive which is why GPs are reluctant to prescribe it. If it is reflux, you need to start on ranitidine and see if it has any help. Btw it can sometimes help with intolerances as it is an antihistamine but that just masks the cause.

I had to fight for a referral in the end and thanks to the advice of mumsnetters was so glad I did. Please do not accept this from your GP. It is not normal not to be able to lie a baby down. If necessary, change gPs till you find one more sympathetic. I basically refused to move from the office until I had the referral letter in my hand.

cazm3 I'd be personally livid and he wouldn't be going anywhere in the first place with a 5 week old. I've a 10 week old with no colic or reflux and find it hard going. If you ring DM he will be getting away with it, he is babys father therefore has equal responsibility, if he is ok with you going out getting sloshed tonight and having a lie in while he is doing all the jobs required for a newborns survial than thats fine, equal division of labour.

Also caz,what made me get stroppy was when i read that lack of treatment for reflux could lead to permanent damage to the osophegus-sp? That really steered me into action.