AIBU advice needed about HORRIBLE teacher?

[MrsShitty]

on behalf of my sister who is very upset. Her son is a very good year three child...very well behaved and has been excelling at school, on the g&t register and loves school...his reports are always that he is a good and kind boy, often voted as class rep etc.

This term his class have been taught by 2 teachers both of whom teach year 4...they were sort of tasters for nexyt year to get the DC used to their new teachers.

Yesterday my nephew came home and was very upset. He said that Miss T had screamed in his face...my nephew is almost deaf in one ear due to problems from birth and has had both eardrums burst in the past and this woman screamed so loud his ear was hurt...he cried in pain.

She screamed because my nephew had been going for a pencil and had tripped over another childs leg....she accused my nephew of kicking the other boy and would not listen when my nephew AND the other boy tried to explain he had tripped. INstead she yelled repeatedly as loud as she could in his face that she would not be talked back to and then she told him to sit on the carpet and removed his golden time...she threw his book at him.

My hephew says she has also shouted at him for other minor things such as dropping his book once. She also banged the chair of a little girl up and down with the child still sitting in it....whilst shouting "Go to the toilet then!" and the little girl was crying.

My sister says her normally happy boy has been in tears and could not sleep for three nights until all this came out last night. He is afraid of this woman and his poor ear is still hurting.

My sister has made an appointment to see the HT tonight she does not want to speak to the teacher....she feels she has nothing to say to the woman. I must add that her son is very sensible and very truthful he would not lie....the teacher is new and this is her first job.

What measures should my sister ask to take place? What should the outcome be? And who should she write to in the event that she is still not happy after the meeting? The LEA or board of governers? Thank you. I am very upset about my nephew who has had multiple operations on his ears and only has 30% hearing in the one this woman hurt.

Go to the HT.

It's unacceptable and clearly something is wrong with this teacher - either she needs support, training or her P45.

FWIW a teacher assaulted my DD in school, slamming her chair in behind her and cracking her leg off the table as a consequence, I went through the regular class teacher to ask if teacher X could ring me and after listening to her for about 10 mins stonewalling me and blaming my DD for her own anger issues, I let her have it, told her that she assaulted anybody again the police would be called, and never had any trouble again.

Remember OP if a teacher did what they did to you DN to another adult they were working with in an office, they would be immediately dismissed. Every child has a right to feel safe in their place of work.

For those of you giving the Op a bashing, I'd just say that she and her sister are the experts on this little lad, and if he doesn't normally invent stories, he should be believed in this instance. For sure get to the bottom of it by triangulating information, but in the end the teacher sounds like she's not able to handle having a deaf child in her classroom and this needs sorting out.

Go to the HT, as she's the best person to help this teacher find her true path in life (maybe teaching older children...)

My sister won't speak to the teacher as she feels she knows the facts
What other advice was she hoping for?

When I was younger I developed a mild form of epilepsy. Being shouted at, even if it was more tone than volume, could bring on an epileptic episode for me.

I also have hearing problems OP and I understand about the pain loud noise or being outside on a windy day can cause. Even now, if I tell adults that I am deaf in one ear, some idiot will think it is funny to say "what?...what?...pardon?" or worse, lean closer and shout "WHAT?" at me really loudly. It bloody hurts.

Things may or may not have been exactly as your nephew says they were, but the teacher should have listened to both boys trying to explain to her what had happened when your nephew tripped. It's not as though the other boy said he had been kicked and she thought your nephew was lying. They were both agreeing it had been an accident.

If your sister feels she doesn't want to speak to the teacher first then I think she just needs to calmly explain to the headmaster what has been said and then give him time to speak to the teacher in question himself, without demanding she be instantly sacked or anything, and arrange an appointment to see him again next week once he has spoken to the teacher. At that point, depending on what he has to say and how she feels about it, she can make a decision to ask for her son to be in the other teachers class next year or whatever it is she feels will be best for him.

Why is it that newly qualified teachers are very shouty? Whenever my children have been unhappy with a teacher (but not previously), or other children unhappy with the teacher, it always seems to be the newly quialified ones!

Is it part of their training I wonder that they shout a child down and wont let the child explain, and when they try to they are accused of back chatting

OP, its always good to talk, and your sister could start by communicating her views clearly and calmly re. this problem to the teacher. The teacher may be open a discussion. She may not understand the effect she is having. We all need to be educated sometimes. She may become aware, correct herself, and then the problem is sorted.

OTOH, if there is a problem that does not get sorted, well then you have started at the right place to pursue.

But seriously, I think you need to start at Base 1.

p.s. a teacher I once had a row major disagreement with once, was the one I was most sorry to see go at the end of the year, once we had reached an understanding ... though it doesn't always work that way.

WorraLiberty is right - the order is

Teacher
Head Teacher
Chair of Govs
LEA

I would have spoken to the teacher in question and explained about the child's ear problems and pain and how it has hurt since she shouted at him.

I would also remember that with kids this age there is their story, the other story, and the truth somewhere in the middle, for future reference.

Definitely go to the teacher first. A LOT of HT's time is spent sorting out stuff that could have dealt with by doing this first.

16April very simply, it's easy for a new teacher to start off strict and to be very authoritative at first and then relax a bit once term gets going, rather than holding back a bit and then trying to assert authority over a class who think you don't mean business.

Some do go too far though.

OPs nephew has had days of pain in his ear which he, his mum and OP believe is due to this teacher's behaviour. Of course there's nothing wrong with OP's sister going straight to the head - can't believe she's getting such a bashing over it. Completely agree with totallypearshaped.

"I also have hearing problems OP and I understand about the pain loud noise or being outside on a windy day can cause. Even now, if I tell adults that I am deaf in one ear, some idiot will think it is funny to say "what?...what?...pardon?" or worse, lean closer and shout "WHAT?" at me really loudly. It bloody hurts."

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes I had someone do this to me today, so I calmly turned around and said to him "It wasn't funny the first time I heard this 40 years ago" with a really bored look on my face. His friends started to snigger at him instead of me.

OP I second all the advice to speak to the teacher first.

16april... not in the training, no. thanks for generalising massively about hundreds of people though.

Noone said "Even now, if I tell adults that I am deaf in one ear, some idiot will think it is funny to say "what?...what?...pardon?" or worse, lean closer and shout "WHAT?" at me really loudly. It bloody hurts."

What on earth is wrong with some people?? I think I'd slap someone who did that to me.

OP you just won't take on board what everyone's saying to you, will you.

She went to see the HT who was very interested in the whole thing as she has had a complaint about this woman only a few days ago from the Mother of a child in another class.... and she took it very seriously. The HT has advised my sister to write a letter which she must give to the HT in order for the HT to then pass it to the Board of Govenors....this is apparently the proper route.

The HT is understanding and she brought my nephew into the office to tell her in his own words what happened....she was more thank kind to my sister and my DN....my DN explained what happened and the HT asked him to show her how close the teacher stood...she has indicated to my sister that there does indeed seem to be a serious issue with this "teacher's" ability to keep her cool when looking after a class.

To those people who said my sister needed to see the teacher first, the HT understood perfectly why my sister did not. She felt too emotional to do so and that if she did she would not be able to discuss the matter calmly....she chose to see the HT first as she knew that this would be a better way for her to relate what her son had told her clearly.

If that's "immature" to some of you well there you go....it's just the way my sister felt. I understand this...my sister did feel very upset as her son has had many problems since birth, he was very premature and is smaller and weaker than all of his peers...if she's an over-doting Mother well better that than one who doesn't give a shit.

The ONLY thing that matters here is that her son WAS shouted at...he WAS hurt and he WAS upset. On Monday my sister will meet the HT again to discuss what the teacher has said in her defence.

She has indicated to my sister that there does indeed seem to be a serious issue with this teacher
I'm sorry, I just don't believe this. Your sister may well have put her own interpretation on what the HT said, but I doubt she got the right one.

Whatever Molly! Some people here are just the type who can't face it when they've bashed someone for nothing. I'm not going to write the whole conversation here....it's a public internet forum ffs. I came for some advice and got roundly bashed.

Whatever indeed. I hope your sister gets it sorted, and her ds is ok, whatever the circumstances.

MrsShitty, what on earth do you mean by accusing those who don't agree with you of having "bashed someone for nothing"? Have you taken leave of your senses?

You came for advice and got it. Plainly it wasn't what you wanted, so don't post on AIBU. Especially with third-hand info.

The HT has advised my sister to write a letter which she must give to the HT in order for the HT to then pass it to the Board of Govenors....this is apparently the proper route.
Staffing and discipline matters are in the remit of the HT.
Governors would only be involved if Compentency procedures were to be put in place.
If she's new then that seems a bit drastic.
The HT should be observing and supporting to sort it out first.

No HT would comment that there are issues with a teacher - and would especially not comment wrt another child.

I don't believe that for one second.

MrsS..I am very glad it is being sorted out, I despise people being cruel to children in an way, shape or form and I hate to think children can be frightened or go unheard. However, I must confess, having followed this thread that you have got my back up with the way you have come across. I think a topic entitled 'I am right and I just want people to agree with me' would have been a more appropriate forum?

Maybe your DN is like one of mine and is bright but disruptive? Because he's bored? And a bit of a know-it-all pita?